I’m in a funk today. When work is completed and the desk is thin with more work, I get like this. But I’m not going to dwell on it because it’s boring. Keeping it short today.
I saw my parents over the weekend and my mom was relating a story about someone from her class. At her reunion recently, this friend was listed as deceased. That troubled Mom, so she had me check the obituaries online. Nope, she wasn’t listed. Mom worried it a bit until I suggested she just call. She did. Her “deceased” friend answered. Mom made like nothing was wrong so as not to embarrass her, but obviously someone got it wrong.
At the next reunion meeting, Mom was relaying the story to another classmate. Apparently the woman who’d listed her friend in the first place overheard and became adamant. “No, she’s dead! I know it!”
Mom responded, “Well I just talked to her a day and a half ago. It may have been her daughter’s obituary you saw.”
At that point, wouldn’t you say “I’m so glad” or “Oops” or anything like that? This woman said, “No, I know I saw her obituary. I know she’s dead! She’s been dead for five years!”
My question to you – when did people become so intent on being right? Here’s a woman, faced with good news that also proved her wrong, and rather than be thankful a friend is alive, she argues it to save face. Did anyone care? Not beyond hearing the good news they didn’t. It’s like the guy who argued what my own name was – it becomes all about not being wrong and nothing about actual fact.
Anything weird like that ever happen to you?
In my neighborhood, that stuff happens all the time. An older lady down the street is the local gossip (she calls it "news"). She rarely gets any details right because she views life through a very negative prism.
The classic example was when she called me one day and said, breathlessly, "The cops are over here because Mary hit her tenant's car! They're taking pictures of the car right now!" ("Mary" being a neighbor Gossip Lady disliked with a passion.)
I looked out the window. No police. Mary's car wasn't there. Her tenant's black hatchback is nowhere to be seen, but the gray hatchback belonging to the owner of the house between Gossip Lady and Mary was parked in front, and there was a man, in street clothes, photographing the house. No police cars. So I told Gossip Lady precisely that, she told me I was wrong and hung up. A minute later I saw her leave her house and head up the hill. She turned around the second she realized she was wrong – and she never admitted it.
That's just one of about 100 times Gossip Lady has reported "the Gospel truth" and been wrong.
Let's see… there was last summer when she told everyone there was a break in, when it turned out the guy's window screen has just blown down…Oh, two weeks ago she recounted, in great (incorrect) detail what one neighbor had just told both of us, to another neighbor – totally sensationalizing and distorting what we'd been told…Or the time she told me six police cars came to our block and the cops bodyslammed a guy and dragged him off in handcuffs. A) she wasn't even home when the TWO police cars (one officer per car) arrived, and B) I had seen the peaceful arrest from my front window – not enough commotion to get my dog barking…turns out the guy is bipolar and was off his meds. Yet to this day, her account is "right" and my eyewitness account is "wrong."
Another classic: about a year ago two police cars were near the home of other neighbors she dislikes. Wanting to thwart Gossip Lady from spreading rumors that this very nice family was dealing drugs or something, I called them to ask if they were OK. Turns out there was a custody dispute between some renters next door to them, and the police were just there to try to resolve the dispute. No arrests. Dad was taken downtown in one car, mom in the other, just to sort things out. I called Gossip Lady, clearly saying it was a custody dispute and NO ARRESTS were made, and without missing a beat she asks, "Did they taken him out in handcuffs?"
It seems the people who don't listen, or are prone to misinterpreting simple things (like, say, an obituary), are generally the last to admit they were wrong.
Are you working on your fiction? The universe is prodding you by thinning the work! 😉
Morons are morons, such as that woman who couldn't admit the fact that she was wrong and the right answer was good news. Let her spin. All she does is show how little class (pun intended) she has.
Yes, I'm working on the fiction as we speak. I have amended the direction and I'm loving it. 🙂
Paula, remind me not to visit. That woman would have me robbing churches or something! What a trip!
Funky Town?
Visit this real town…;)
Kudos to your mom for handling that nicely. I would've been tempted to throw it back in the lady's face and say something like, "Did you even bother to read the obituary?"
There have been a lot of times where I've seen an obit of a person who had the same name as someone I knew. But, generally, I read the obit for clues. The birth date or something wouldn't match so I would know that it wasn't the person I was thinking of.
Your working on fiction? Good for you… re your story… I grew up in a town like that… almost moved back, glad I didn't… although I must say that my circle is about the same size here in urban San Diego… I like to think, however, we're not quite a stuck about being right, but…
Human psychology; ain't it a wonderful thing! Devon's right, we just have to let these people spin. Why let facts get in the way of a good story – especially when the story builds up their own confidence levels (albeit in a delusional sense). Luckily I seem to have met fairly reasonable people (including clients) throughout life and I put it down to the fact that if I ever get an inkling of delusion or fragility, I move on – mentally and physically. Call me hard…
I once had an argument with my hubby that ended with him arguing my point and insisting it was his all along.
Oh Amie, that's wild! LOL
Wendy, my mom thought it was probably that the woman assumed her story was a direct challenge. Mind you, Mom was talking to someone else at a different table and this woman overheard. But some people just have to be in control, and that means every detail. So that other woman had better die, dammit! LOL
I call you smart, Paul. I had just one person that wildly delusional in my working life, thankfully, and I moved on from him easily. He was a contact, not a client, and I waved goodbye at the end of the interview after he argued that my name was NOT my name, but the one he had dreamed up.
I wonder how my entire family back through the generations survived without this dude's guidance?
Anon, it's hard living in a small town. Yes, they all know you but yes, they ALL KNOW you. Ugh!