Last week I had a call that was expected to take 20 minutes. An hour and a half and several failed attempts to interrupt the talker later, I made excuses and hung up. It was gawd-awful. Worse, the caller was offended when I halted the one-sided conversation. Devon came to my rescue beeping in on call waiting a few times to drive the point home, which was wonderful – thank you again for getting my back!
Only once before did I have this experience where the caller was in full monologue mode. At the time I was interviewing that caller for a magazine article when I was on staff. After 45 minutes of trying to steer him back on track and having him shout (literally) over my questions in order to give me the story he knew I’d rather be writing (as he put it), I thanked him quickly and hung up.
That it’s happened to me twice is an indication that going forward, I need a phone plan. Thanks to Kristen for giving me some suggestions that work for her. If both Kristen and I have had issues, I’m sure you have, too, or you will. Either way, here’s a working plan for keeping things under control when you’re on the phone:
Preface the call with a time limit. In my opinion, the best way to limit an incessant talker (even before you know you have one) is to start the phone call by saying something like “Thank you for giving me 20 minutes of your time. I’ll make this quick as you’re busy and I’ve got another call coming in at X:XX.” It’s direct, it sets limits and helps you steer the talker back on track by pointing to the time. (Kristen’s idea, and a good one.)
Send an email prior to the call detailing your time frame. It never hurts to send out the Outlook meeting invitation, but follow that with a quick note saying you’ll be talking with this person between X and X:30 o’clock. It gives an exact window and allows you the opening to end things that are rambling into places unknown.
Interrupt. Your mother, your father, even your teachers have taught you not to interrupt. But when you have a serial conversationalist on the other end, you must. Otherwise you’ll be growing old with a stranger instead of your family. Interrupt. If, as in my case last week, your talker talks right over you, continue interrupting with the person’s name (thank you, Kristen!) until you get his/her full attention. Then express the need to get back on track so you can both meet other obligations (your next call, for example).
Notify your talker he/she is way off topic. Yes you can. If he’s going on about his custody battle or dropping names at the rate you’d expect from People Magazine, there’s nothing wrong in saying, “I think we’re getting off track here. What I really need to know is….”
Plan a quick exit. Sometimes they come up for air, albeit briefly. Wait for it… then say “Well! Thank you so much for your time! I hadn’t realized how much we’ve talked here. I really must go. But I do appreciate your time today!” and say goodbye. If that person starts talking, say in a good-natured way: “Well we’ll have to leave that for another day as I’m all out of time here. Thank you again!” and say goodbye. Keep repeating. If you have to go there more than twice, I’m all for hanging up. Seriously. Yes, you could lose a client, but if that person isn’t listening at this stage, it could be a nightmare going forward.
Feel free to move it to email. There may be edits for my project of last week, but there’s no way in unholy hell I want to get back on that phone with that person. Being available by email gives a bit more brevity to the conversation. You may still get tomes of information, but now you can scan down to what you want instead of trying to stay tuned in as they give you every excruciating detail imaginable. And it allows you to get the person’s full attention when you send back questions.
How do you get it to email? Simple. Be honest. “Since I’m trying to consolidate so much information accurately, it would really be better for me if we move to email. It helps me focus on what’s important and keeps my follow-up questions more relevant to your project and less time-consuming for you. And it allows you to go over your points to make sure it’s what you want to say.” Don’t go back to the phone no matter how much your client calls or asks for it. You’ve already seen it’s not going to work for you. Feel free to say you can keep both of you on task better in email.
How have you handled phone calls from Hell?
I rarely, if ever, do business on the phone, and that’s in my contract. I HATE the phone. Most phone calls with clients are a total waste of time.
I make it clear they can leave a DETAILED message during working hours, not a “call me” message. I check messages twice a day and return calls, but my phone is OFF when I’m working.
I check my email frequently throughout the day, so if they want a quick response, they can email me.
Also, I do not IM, and I don’t accept clients who required IM. Waste of time in 90% of the cases.
I am a WRITER. I work with WORDS ON THE PAGE! (pun intended).
Nyuck nyuck! Good one. 🙂
There are times – interviews for articles, etc. – that the phone is a must. But I agree with you. All other times, I prefer email. It’ just easier to dash off a quick, coherent note than to reread emails and notes and have a drawn-out conversation with someone.
But sometimes we just have to talk on the phone. For those times, we need a system. 🙂
I really enjoyed this post , and I can soooo relate. I completely agree with Devon. I really don’t care for the hone and prefer to conduct business through email as much as possible because phone calls can suck up valuable time.
That said, there have been time where phone calls were necessary because some clients cannot communicate their needs well in writing (I guess that’s why they hire us?).
I have a client that seems to have a knack for calling when I’m breaking my neck on deadline. He’s a sweetheart, but is very long winded and tends to repeat the same points over and over again in the conversation. A conversation that should take 10 minutes wilo very often creep over into an hour.
I now let him know I only have 15 minutes to talk before he gets started, and I still must politely cut him off to make sure we don’t go over.
I also don’t like IM. I have a client that requested I sign up for Skype messaging early on (before I knew better) and he acted as if he were my only client. He’d call if he didn’t see me online. I had to let hime know that I would only sign on briefly fromhere on out when he and I needed to communicate on a specific project. Never again!
Hi Lori.
Thanks for the tips. When I set up interviews, which is almost always by e-mail, I say I’d like to do a brief, 15-minute telephone interview. Then, I usually start out phone interviews by saying, “Thanks for taking the time to be interviewed today. As I mentioned in my e-mail, my article is very short, so I won’t take up much of your time…”
I’ve never had anybody like you had–who plainly wasn’t listening to interruptions. But I’ve got no problem interrupting and saying, “I’ve got another interview in a few minutes, so I’ll need to wrap this up.”
I guess that’s the benefit of my friends telling me I’m sometimes abrupt!
Abrupt works! LOL I would’ve given anything for that last week!
Kimberly, I suffer the “but I’m your only client!” syndrome a few times a year myself. It’s why I limit my availability to phone and email, and, rarely, cell phone. It’s not for the masses of clients who conduct themselves in a professional manner. It’s for those rare few who don’t understand boundaries. And good for you for enforcing the IM boundaries! Technology gives people the false impression that we’re always able to respond instantly. We’re not. We have to actually work at some point!
Thanks for the great tips, Lori! I do my best to set up strict interview times in advance, but sometimes the interviewee has a timetable of their own. I’ve actually ended up on the phone for close to an hour and a half for a 175-word story! In retrospect, I should have just emailed the subject and asked her to send me a quote. It would have saved us both a lot of time!
That’s so frustrating, isn’t it? An hour and a half of billable time wasted because of overshare. While it’s great that we have people willing to talk to us, it’s maddening when they don’t follow the rules of etiquette. To talk that long, no matter who you are, is just rude.
Lawyers bill for phone calls; why shouldn’t we?
How about a clause in the contract that says X amount of phone time and anything over that is billable?
75% of the time, they want to talk to a therapist, not a writer anyway.
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Betty
http://desktopmemory.info
Hi Betty! Glad to have you here! I’m coming over to your blog to introduce myself. 🙂