I’m facing a brand-new project area today. I will meet with the client and go over her plans as well as my outline of her project. It’s an area I’ve long wanted to expand into, and the outline’s been written for a year. And I’m terrified.
With all this experience, with the skill set I have versus the job to be done, I know I’m more than qualified. But I’m shaking in my shoes. Why? Because it’s new. I nearly talked myself out of it, but I know this is something I can do easily. It’s just that fear of tripping up, of looking stupid, that keeps me from being elated. Instead of the confidence that should be there, I’m resisting the urge to hide in the corner and pretend no one can see me.
This isn’t new to any writer. We’ve all experienced the fear of the unknown, the terror that we may – gasp and egad! – make a mistake. We doubt that our abilities aren’t up to it. In nearly every case the abilities are there, but do we believe it? No. We’d rather believe we’re in over our heads. Why? Because if we make that dreaded mistake, however small, we can say we knew it all along. It’s like bungee jumping for the first time (I would imagine). In your head you know someone’s done a thorough safety check, but your heart can’t help thinking you’re about to be flattened on the hard surface below. Okay, maybe not quite the same, for we writers aren’t going to be road kill if we botch something, but the terror is just as real.
I’m pressing forward. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say. If I mess up, I come home and continue on with my other projects. I can’t afford not to try. I’ve almost convinced myself that this is just a meeting and if we don’t have the same vision, no harm done. I’ve prepared as much as I can, and I’ll chalk it up to experience.
So what about your feelings of dread, doom, doubt, or anxiety? When do you face them? Every deadline or just the new project’s deadline? How do you psyche yourself into pressing forward? What was your last moment of freelance fear and how did you overcome it?
I so know what you mean. Granted I have a lot of experience with self-hypnosis, but I occasionally find myself looking at new project that unnerves me. I do two thing – I try to remember the people I am dealing with are human and that mistakes happen. Then I relax and do a mental dress rehearsal of my presentation (or what have you) in detail.
I’m scared all the time.
But the more a project scares me, the more I know I have to do it, so I can face new challenges.
Congratulations on this new opportunity, Lori – what a great topic! Yeah, this is something I am all too familiar with! A few months ago I had a graphic design company in Canada ask me to join their team as a contract worker to provide copywriting/marketing material because she was expanding her business into web development. I was familiar with some aspects of copywriting more than others, so she tested me out (with pay) by asking me to develope marketing material to announce her business’ newly expanded services. Boy was I terrified! But it worked out great, and now I have experience and an expanded portfolio!
I feel like this whenever I get a new client too. I don’t know how to overcome it, or even if I should. I remind myself that I am doing what I love, and I just go for it!
I mostly get The Fear when I turn a first draft in to an editor, and then there’s the wait period before I back from her… I tend to avoid my email the first part of the day, as if to psyche myself up for whatever lies within.
When doesn’t the fear strike me? I just landed client that promises to be big (in terms of expanding my portfolio)… I was referred to him by another client.. OK said foot is now in door – Don’t let it get slammed shut.
I had to put on my “South side” attitude (it’s something us little geeky kids wear when when we’re scared out of drawers we’re gonna get beat up in the tough neighborhood), and talked to the potential client like I already had the job… It may not always work but for me, I knew who I was dealing with and what they were expecting from me based on my submitted clips. I had to go with that persona in order to get the rest of my body in the door and it worked.
My fear usually comes in the first initial meetings, in the pleasantries where the first impression is the greatest. I have to rummage through the closet and pull out an air of confidence I only put on for special occasions and forge ahead sometimes my tough girl side comes along for the ride… in case she needs to open a can of butt kicking on my confidence! ;-D
I experience the most anxiety thinking about the project. Once I start, I’m okay–it’s the anticipation that’s the killer.
Worse than the anticipation and fear of failure is the self-sabotage in which I find myself occasionally engaging. I have to tell myself not to be afraid to succeed.
Fear is a powerful thing! I think it’s one of the reasons procrastinating is so seductive–but, good for you for working through it. That’s something I really need to work on. “Comfort Zone” SOUNDS so nice and cozy, it’s easy to forget that it’s also muffling, stifling, and restricting. Good luck!
LOL Great point, deb! Comfort is often a bit on the boring side, isn’t it?
This is a fantastic topic and it is very reassuring to know others face these kinds of fears. I’m often stifled because I don’t know how to deal with the anxiety I frequently have.
I’ve found, the only way to douse fear is to shut up, sit down, and begin. Doing it is much harder than saying it.