When is it ever okay to shoot the messenger? I was reading a chain of posts on Freelance Writing Jobs this week where in response to Deb posting a low-paying gig and saying how nice the people were to work for, she was inundated with nasty emails. She’s accused of not looking out for writers, of promoting low-paying jobs, and of being less-than-forthcoming about how much she makes freelancing. Are they kidding? So basically, she works her tail off to find gigs for writers and a select few thank her by chopping her head off and insisting they know her annual income. Screw that! Frankly, that Deb doesn’t shut that site down and thumb her nose to the lot of them (using some select fingers in the process) is a sign of her good character.
Given this and the issues at Tess Gerritsen’s now-dormant blog (and I’ll mourn its loss until she comes back online, no matter how long that takes), it’s pretty clear there are people in this world who just are not going to be happy no matter what you do or say. To dissect someone’s good intentions and make it sound heinous, or to take someone’s opinion and make it a career-ending faux pas is just stupid. I liken this kind of mean-spirited treatment of a fellow human to the same behavior of those who would watch a Disney movie only to locate sexual references. It’s a huge, hurtful waste of time. Before you go boo-hooing about your right to your opinion, let me say you DO have that right. But that’s no excuse for acting like a complete jackass and trashing someone’s reputation. That, my friends, is a line that should never be crossed. Yet here we are, staring at two instances of that line indeed being crossed.
Well, actually three instances. There was an attack of a more general kind over on Rogue Ink. The way Tei handled it was … well, just terrific. She voiced her discontent, but then she encouraged everyone to go to the guy’s site and give him something to smile about. She really handled it well, as did Deb, as did Tess.
It’s called personal responsibilty for your actions. To tell someone you disagree, even strongly disagree, with what they said is one thing. To say that they’re jerks for having their own opinion or that they’re heinous individuals is to say that it’s up to them to act like you or think like you.
Maybe you guys can tell me exactly where this attitude of entitlement comes from. I’m at a loss. Just because it’s online, it’s okay to hurt someone intentionally? Just because you’re hidden from view, it’s safe to be a jerk? What is the psychology?
I don’t know Lori – this kind of reminds me of what has happened to me recently. she went to all kinds of extents to tear me down even so far as to post some sort of signature about “haters” on her blog. It’s unprofessional. I have no problem disagreeing with people but I try to keep it clean. There’s no reason for ridiculousness.
That’s true, Nikki. You went through this type of thing, as well.
I don’t understand it. I have had my share of times when I could rip someone to shreds, but I refrained because that’s what adults do. I’m not saying I’m 100% pure – far from it. But in general, it’s never acceptable to take a disagreement or an opposing opinion to the point of trashing someone’s reputation.
It’s called cowardice. Dollars to doughnuts, these people don’t have the guts to confront anyone in real life, so they do it frequently on line because they don’t have to be held accountable for their actions or to actually face the person they’re blasting.
Aw, thanks, Lori. Do you know, I think you’re the only one who actually went over there? And now the blog’s been shut down, which wasn’t what I intended.
What’d you SAY to the poor fellow?
I think he probably wasn’t anticipating that reaction. Poor dude. I feel kinda bad now.
Geez! I really DID give him some love! Told him he was a valuable asset to the world, more or less.
Well, I don’t know that anyone treated him badly. There were three comments – two from me. The other was a nice one, too.
Maybe he just doesn’t like attention?