Disconnect
Certain young, ultra-connected inhabitants of my house seem to think my cell phone should be on at all times or I should at least be near a phone and available. I’ve been asked, “How can anyone find you if your phone is turned off?” To that, I respond, “Perhaps I don’t want to be found.”
Over the years, I’ve had requests/demands from any number of clients that inflict on my private time. For that reason, I’ve learned to protect my space. I work during normal business hours and only occasionally, upon request, will I work with someone after hours (I’m flexible with time zone issues and work schedules). It happens sometimes that we just can’t talk until after hours. If we arrange something in advance, I’m cool with that.
Most people get this. I’ve worked with people who are very understanding and who appreciate that freelance writers can’t be available 24/7. Then there are those who push the boundaries and test the limits. Maybe they think they’re special. Maybe they think their one request is okay. Maybe they don’t care. Maybe they don’t take time off themselves and cannot understand how anyone might need to do so.
I had one of these requests/demands this past week. Since my youngest graduated from high school and I had out-of-town guests and a party (not to mention the trip to the youngest’s college for freshman orientation), I put the “away” message on the email on Thursday and went about my personal business.
Sure enough, a call came in. You guessed it – Friday afternoon, two hours from my normal quitting time. It was a request for yet one more thing on a project that I was told was finished four days prior. Then came the line I loathe most – “I wish I had your cell phone number so I could get in touch with you.” That is exactly why you don’t have it. I give that number to clients who have proven they respect boundaries. You aren’t getting it. Ever. Neither is the man who expected me to attend a conference call at 7:30 p.m. on a Wednesday night right in the middle of my vacation week (and yes, he’s the one who snipped at me “Didn’t you just have a vacation?”). That number is reserved for those who understand that the “free” part of my “freelance” title does not include answering calls during my daughter’s commencement, nor leaving a party with 32 people in order to fill one last request that I didn’t see coming. (and before you think I’m getting too harsh on the caller, this person also sent two emails and therefore knew full well I wasn’t around.)
I can’t help it that some clients live at work. I remember emails from one very demanding man that were time-stamped 11:46 p.m. While it helped me to understand why he didn’t think anything of demanding everyone drop what they’re doing at his request, I lost all desire to work with someone who didn’t understand that personal time is infinitely more important to most of us than work is.
No matter what stage you’re at in your career, do yourself a favor – don’t apologize for having a life beyond your work. Set your boundaries, know well in advance how you’ll handle work that comes in after hours, and let your clients know you’re willing to take on special after-hours requests if you can schedule them. The assumption is that we sit at our keyboards and wait for work to come in all day and night. Not so. We volunteer, we work second jobs, we raise kids, we reconnect with significant others and yes, we’ve even been known to sit and do nothing. These are clients we’re working with – not bosses. Even most bosses would understand that it’s not okay to call you after hours and expect you to put down your dinner fork and attend to business.
I just found your blog and have been enjoying the archives! Good advice in this post. I am a workaholic with no boundaries, but I do wish I could be a little “firmer” about my limits. Will try and take your advice to heart.