Client Gaffes and No-Nos
I’ve preached plenty about what we as writers should or should not do. Professional etiquette must be followed even in the face of the most wretched humans to hit your in box. For the most part, we writers listen and respond well. However, not all clients understand proper etiquette when dealing with a freelancer. Consider this your primer, folks.
1. If it’s 9:30 pm, don’t even think I’m answering that phone. Nor will I answer it at 9:30 am Saturday morning. Or Sunday afternoon. Freelancers are not “free” at any given hour to chat about your project. On weekends – get this – we actually have lives! I know it’s hard to imagine, but we do get out more than you think. Why, the last time one of you called, I was holding a paint roller in one hand and the phone in the other. Do not assume we’re at that computer 24/7. Those people are called “gamers.”
2. Insulting our work won’t get you a discount or free work. You tried, didn’t you? You called four times and each time you started the message with a bitch about what wasn’t right before you requested new work to be done. And you called on a Saturday morning. Thanks. My kid really appreciated being awakened at 8:00 am. Respect boundaries, you putz.
3. Pay promptly. Pay promptly. Pay promptly. This isn’t a hobby for us – it’s our jobs. We treat you professionally and we perform a service for you for which we expect to be paid. Go figure. So don’t try telling us the check was just sent and then come back a month later saying it’s on its way. The Pony Express no longer operates and if they did, they’d be a damn sight faster than that. We’re not buying it. Pay your bills on time. Our mortgages/car payments/tuition payments depend on it. If you don’t, we’re calling your boss and getting him or her to try the same treatment out on you. See how much you like it.
4. Don’t invent problems. Oh, you think we’ve never had this happen, don’t you? You hold off payment until we tack on late fees or (egads!) threaten litigation, then suddenly you voice your dissatisfaction with some aspect (or all) of the project. Now’s not the time. Then was the time. We can see clearly that this is a stall tactic. And like the “check’s in the mail” ploy, we’re not buying it.
5. Talk to us. Sure, we’re writers. We know how to craft nearly any prose imaginable. But we’re not mind readers. We cannot tell you what you want to say if you don’t communicate with us. If you see the first draft and it’s not what you wanted, tell us! We’re not fragile little things who can’t take the pressure. We’ve had much tougher editors than you – so let us know instead of firing us or throwing your hands up in disgust. We’re here to fix it, too. We can’t do it if we don’t know it’s broken.
6. Reply! Okay, so you have a cash flow problem right now. Happens to the best of us. Tell us so. Don’t just ignore the emails and phone calls. That does one thing – it gives you a horrible reputation as a client. And we do talk to each other occasionally. Not that we’d sully your reputation intentionally, but we watch each others’ backs – don’t be the person we warn others about.
7. Put the whip away. So you run a big/medium/small company. You’re used to telling people what to do all day. That doesn’t mean we need the same direction. In fact, most of us have survived quite well without someone dictating when we can breathe. Remember, we all own our own businesses. We’re used to being disciplined. Yes, we’d love your input. No, we don’t want someone telling us we have to devote endless hours to just their project. Look at our titles again – freelance writers. We have other clients. You’re our entire world for the allotted time each day. Beyond that, we are working hard for others, too. Laws were created that define an employee versus a freelancer. Unless you feel like picking up our benefits, be careful with requiring specific hours of our “freelance” time. If you can’t accept that, you need to hire a staff writer.
8. Be our coworker. Bet you didn’t know that you were entering a partnership when you hired us, did you? Well, if you want your project to reflect your values and your needs, you need to be involved. We’d love to have your input during the creation phase – it’s how we know we’ll give you what you want.
9. Respect us. We respect you. We respect your project needs. We respect your deadlines and yes, even your quirky topics. Please respect us as professionals and respect our time off. We’re here for you during business hours. If you need to speak after hours, just ask and we’ll work it out. But please, please don’t call as we’re walking out the door to our kid’s prom party/graduation/christening/bar mitzvah. Respect our home life as we respect yours, and we’ll get along just fine.
As always, a great post Lori. I especially like #3 because I’m dealing with a client now who has “put the check in the mail” 3 times and it still hasn’t made it to my mailbox.
Hey, if you’re going to screw me, just say so okay?
I love this! What a great post, and sadly much of it is true. You worded your responses wonderfully, though, and we can only hope that they might start listening!
Great post! I am dealing with #3 as well. I never had a problem with getting paid before and it seems to have hit me all at once.
And on the phone call front, I don’t answer calls from anyone that late. It’s funny, most of the people who call us only happens when they want something AND either too early or too late. Lovely.
Awesome list, Lori. #5 hit home for me, as I dealt with it in every sense it could have been dealth with almost a year ago. Hopefully clients will see your post.
Mike and April, I hear you! I’ve heard that lame “check’s on its way” story too many times to believe it. It’s usually coupled with the “inventing problems” one, too. Had one client who loved everything I did until I tacked on the late fee. Then suddenly the entire project sucked from start to finish. And he thought I was fooled by that – go figure!
Julia, I know. It’s too true, isn’t it?
Alicia, I’m with you. TELL me you want something different and I’ll work to give you that. Perhaps because clients’ own egos are connected to their writing, they’re reluctant to approach us. Little do they know we’ve separated ego from work ages ago! LOL
Oh yeah, definitely my kind of post! I’m one of those freelancers who avoids the phone as much as possible, so fortunately I don’t run in to the ill-timed and frequent whine-and-moan sessions. It’s just easier to ignore them when they come via email.
Each potential client should have to SIGN this and turn over the first payment, simultaneously!
Devon, I LOVE how you think! 🙂
Luckily, these clients are NOT the norm. When they do appear, their behavior is the most newsworthy. 🙂
I’m with Purli. Sign and hand over first payment. My phone call policy was discussed at the first meeting. I did NOT answer the phone in the morning,only returned calls between 3pm and 5pm. If they had a problem, they left a message and I’d get back to them with the info. Made everything smoother.
I let my clients know up front that I was running a business with business hours — just like them. Messages were checked whenever I wanted to, but I didn’t TALK with them until Monday. Made MY life smoother.
i agree with all of this – what a great post!
herewith an email i just received from one supposed ’employer’ in NY. he was a hopeless communicator, and made it clear in earlier email conversations that he had an anger problem, this email was in response to a deliberately casual request for long-promised payment, now about 6 weeks overdue.:
“Sadly enough I do not have a use for your work anymore. It is just not efficent enough for me. and takes way too long to get out of you.
However, You have commited work therefore I owe you money. I will arrange to get you paid via paypal within one month, SOMEHOW.” (HIS emphasis)
uuauuuaaugh! i NEED the money – AND i suggested to him that he pay me only HALF of what he offered. i did this in the hope of getting SOMETHING/anything – rather than nothing (which is all i now expect).
Oh Grace, I’m so sorry! What a complete putz! Do yourself a huge favor – disengage. Do not let yourself be pulled into his emotional tactics (his calling into question your speed or your abilities). Don’t be swayed by his nonsense plea for pity (or his intentional guilt trip, for that matter). Read only this: “You have commited work therefore I owe you money. I will arrange to get you paid via paypal within one month.” It’s all that’s relevant here. And it shall be a good point in court, should it come to that.