Working Well with Clients
It’s a good day here at Words on the Page – I am excited to present an interview with Lisa Gates, an expert coach who offers fantastic advice over at her weblog, Design Your Writing Life! Today, Lisa explains the working relationship between writers and clients.
What can we do when a relationship with a client is not going well?
Be transparent. Speak up. Delicately and directly. This is a relationship, and in order to be an effective steward of the relationship, you have to acknowledge that the relationship is not about you, or about the client. It’s about the job at hand. You are both tending the relationship by holding the big picture of the work you’re doing together. So, check out your assumptions with questions and offers that show you are willing to take responsibility, even when the responsibility may not be yours. For example:
“I notice that I’m feeling like I’m not on the same page with you. What would you like to see more/less of? Would you like to alter the deadlines we came up with? What would make this more effective for you?”
(Molly Gordon has an incredible e-book on her site called Authentic Promotion. It’s a great book all around for building a business/marketing plan from the inside out. http://www.authenticpromotion.com)
How can we shift the power without being overbearing or belligerent?
Don’t take it personally. This goes back to the concept of stewardship. It’s not about you, not about them. It’s about the work. When the work is the central focus, there is no need to shift power. I would also add that giving up being right is a good place to gain control for yourself. If you are in disagreement with the client about a particular tactic or direction, you might be holding on to a “position” that limits your ability to see the other side of the coin. Be open, ask questions, offer your sage wisdom based on experience, and then let it go.
What I also hear in the words “overbearing” or “belligerent” is a perspective about being strong, direct, and confident. “If I am strong, they’ll think I’m an overbearing woman.” If you are thinking that thought, you’re creating that reality in all your interactions. Keep the little saboteur beast on your shoulder at bay by acknowledging your leadership. You’re in business for yourself. You’re the CEO. CEOs don’t meddle in vagueness. Claim you leadership, step into it, and don’t look back. This may bring up a bit of fear, so acknowledge the fear too, embrace it. If it’s not scary, it’s probably not worth doing. Didn’t Steven King say that?
How do we cement with the client what we expect out of the relationship?
Speak it. Put it in wriiting. Repeat as necessary. Speak it. Put it in writing. Repeat as necessary. And stop making them wrong when they go south. It’s about the work. Broken record, broken record.
When is it time for honesty?
From the very beginning. You might say, “I’m going to be very transparent with you all along the way. I invite you to tell me when things aren’t working, and I’ll do the same for you.” Set it up as a naturally occurring feature of your business is enrolling. It let’s people know that you’re an observant listener, and flexible about what’s best for the project.
When should we walk away?
Great question. If you are certain you have gone the extra mile and communicated directly and often, and specifically, then it may be time to ask yourself “Is this job, this relationship worth the cost to my integrity, to my values?”
If you have not distinguished what your values are, now is a good time to start. Make a list of the things (features and qualities of being) that must be present in your work–without which you would not be you. So if you say, “In my work I value honesty, transparency, efficiency, fun, integrity, outrageous creativity,” and those values are not being honored by you or the client, your answer should be clear.
Be careful here, though. You have to be what you say you want in your work relationships first. It’s like a marriage. You have to be a great partner in order to attract a great partner. If you are bringing to being all those qualities in every action and interaction, and you are experiencing a lack of reciprocity, you don’t have permission to make them wrong. You have permission to say goodbye. “You know, this is not working well for me. You may be served better by someone else. If you’d like a recommendation, I would be happy to provide that for you.”
You can probably tell by now that I believe we are 100 percent responsible for what happens inside any relationship. Responsibility should not be liberally translated here to mean fault. As a co-creator in your life, and in your work, and in all relationships, what do you think your life would be like if you were 100 percent responsible? Where does anger and blaming and dissatisfaction go in the context of that question? And ain’t it just like a coach to leave you with a question…? 🙂
Thanks, Lisa!
Great interview Lori. And Lisa is so right when she says, “It’s about the work.”
If you and your client both go into a project with the goal of putting out the best piece, then you can’t go wrong.
I really strive to listen to my clients and not act as if I know it all, because I most certainly do not.
Mike Sieber
Hi Lori,
Back in the day when I was an actress, I used to squint with one eye closed at reviews until I found the first positive word.
This is an altogether new experience, and I deeply appreciate your generosity, and the opportunity to provide something useful. You are doing great work.
Lisa
Great interview. Enjoyed reading it.
Have you offered Lisa the chance to run it or an excerpt (with appropriate link to you) on her website?
Thank YOU, Lisa! I’m more than happy to load you up with good words! :))
Excellent article, Lori. Lisa knows her stuff. It is always about the work and being upfront about expectations on both sides.
Making statements in a confident, natural, way will always inspire trust in a client, as long as you follow through. Thanks.
It’s about the work and the relationship. Boy, if you’ve found a pairing like that you can do some outstanding things!!!
Liz