Finding Balance in an Unbalanced Freelance World

Hey, you. Writer — what are you doing here?

Same thing I’m doing, I bet. When the client work comes in and you have some free time, you get a head start. I plan to give an hour of my time off to a favorite client this morning, then off to enjoy the rest of the holiday.

Christmas day was lovely for us. Half of the children were home, and we had a pretty, quiet day of food, presents and most importantly, presence. Yet the day was marred by sad news I’d seen that morning that one of my closest friends in high school had passed. I’d seen her in early November and she and I had made plans to meet up after the holidays. I was devastated. And I knew so many people knew and loved her, so I posted on Facebook that I’d just heard.

What happened next was odd.

I started receiving text messages and Facebook messages. Did I know what happened? I didn’t, so I responded as such. After about six of these inquiries, I was starting to get weary of it. Then as I was talking to my mom to wish her a happy holiday, my cell phone started ringing. There it was — a call from a friend who wanted to know what had happened to our mutual friend.

For me, Christmas Day is sacrosanct. It’s reserved for family. Maybe that’s why I found myself ticked off, even angry, over what felt like a huge intrusion (any other day, it would be a mere phone call, so that’s my issue). But I decided not to answer. Just because the phone was ringing didn’t mean I had to go where I’d rather not go in that moment. The minute I decided that, the upset melted away.

The next day wasn’t any better, though.

My neighbor — a sweet, kind woman just a few years younger than I am, lost her fight with ovarian cancer. I’d seen her two weeks prior, when she’d come home from the hospital. I had taken some food over since the last thing you need to worry about when you’re terribly sick is where to find food. She was sitting on a bench at the end of her bed when I visited, and we’d talked a little. I’d told her I’d come over after the holidays and we’d have tea together. She smiled weakly and said she’d really like that.

Then she was gone.

We had seen it coming. When I texted her earlier in the month, she was in the hospital and the cancer had spread. Her husband came over to return my food containers a few days before Christmas and said he thought she wasn’t going to make it through the previous night.

Still, it was another punch in the gut to a year that has just plain sucked — too many people gone. Bring on 2019 only if it’s going to be better.

—

And it will be better. Why? Because bad things happen to everyone. Some hurt more than others, but we survive them. We embrace the memories and try not to relive too much the pain of loss. We’re allowed to let go of the pain and sadness. We’re allowed to smile again.

It’s that way for me with anger and upset anymore. Hanging on to the negativity means it controls you. That’s true if it’s a personal issue or a client issue. Some thoughts for you to consider as you start a new year — my own personal truths:

• Some clients simply aren’t for you
• Neither is any negativity attached to them
• Putting your focus on positive things creates more room for growth in your own life
• Showing appreciation is uplifting for everyone around you (and for you, too)
• Finding one simply joy per day is habit-forming
• Forgiving yourself means you can treat yourself better going forward

Writers, what will give you the balance you need going forward?