What’s on the iPod: Somebody That I Used to Know by Walk Off the Earth
Some days you’re the windshield, some days you’re the fly. Yesterday, I played the part of the fly as a few of my project drafts hit the windshield with definitive splats. In one case, it was a matter of changing up a few things and we were back on the road. In another, it was more a case of too many hands on a project and not enough input from the decision maker. I suspect the modification will be better because now I know from the decision maker what is expected. That’s a huge help.
My husband remarked that my reaction this time was rather neutral. Actually, he said “Why aren’t you flipping out like you usually do?”
Because stuff happens.
Maybe I had a little too much of the Cesar de Mayo Dog Whisperer marathon Saturday, but I was feeling all calm and assertive when the separate client notes came in. Or maybe that was exhausted and spent from planning a vacation. I’d like to think Cesar Millan’s training of dog owners is rubbing off on me (I don’t own a dog after losing my life dog years ago). But his lessons aren’t just for dog owners. They’re great lessons we can apply to every human interaction we have, especially in business. Here’s what Cesar has taught me:
Remain calm and assertive. Freaking out never got anyone anywhere other than that quick trip to Stress Town. Instead, breathe. Pull those shoulders back, stick the chin up, and smile as you attempt to solve the problem or talk with your clients. Emit the energy you want your clients to react to. It’s amazing how your attitude can influence the outcome of your communications.
Be the pack leader. You could cower in a corner or get nervous every time a client gets upset or has a problem. Or you can take charge of an unruly situation with confidence, and of course with that calm/assertive attitude. Guess which one leaves a better impression?
Let it go once it’s over. Cesar says dogs live in the now, not in the past. Oh, to be like that! Why not? You can’t move forward, as Cesar says, if you’re still living in the past. If your client corrected you on something you don’t feel is a mistake or something that clearly is, fix it to their liking and move on. It no longer exists.
Create balance. If you have a client who’s a huge fan of drama or fits of hysteria, find ways to temper that reaction. In one case, I figured out that giving the client very specific information and only what she needed to hear worked best. Because she skimmed emails instead of reading them through, she’d react with panic thinking I’d missed something. I started using bulleted lists — the panic attacks disappeared. Find out what it takes to create balance with your client, and apply it liberally.
What Dog Whisperer or other behavioral training advice applies to your interactions with clients?
Uggg, on the topic of dogs, sometimes you gotta be like the Littlest Hobo and "just keep moving on." (Hopefully you had that show in the U.S.) LOL
Feeling pretty crappy after breaking things off with a 3.5 year client yesterday… Long story (and long time coming) but things didn't end how I'd hoped.
Sorry to hear about the troubles, Anon. Can we help?
Sorry for the anon. I am worried he might stumble across this and see my name (totally paranoid).
This client was very demanding, and when I tried to raise my rates (for the very first time!) to bring him in line with clients I've acquired more recently he refused to give me an answer and just kept demanding work. There have been many issues with payment, no response to email for weeks, requests for freebies that should only take a minute, etc., etc. …there was no balance on his account as I just returned from vacation so I thought it was a good time to end things.
Like I said, long time coming. I feel I did the right thing for me but still feel a little down and guilty all the same. Thanks for listening. 🙂
Dogs. Now that's an analogy I can understand.
Appreciate the small stuff – Dogs are thrilled with praise (even more so with treats). When a project is published, printed or posted, tell the client what you like about it. When my favorite editor sends proofs, I'm almost always blown away at the seamless editing, creative layout and even other writers' articles, so I make sure to say how great it looks. You know how good it feels to hear someone compliment your work – clients need a little reassurance now and then, too.
Go for a walk – When I'm stressed or have a heavy writing day I'll take my dog out for a short walk. She's happy, I'm happy that she's happy, and moving around releases endorphins or something (Cathy will probably know what) that lift your mood and boost your energy. When you're back at the desk, your head is clear and you can focus on work again.
Anon, no worries. If you feel safer staying behind the scenes, that's totally fine.
Let me guess – he was always expecting everything be done yesterday and perfectly, yet he was slow to pay, wouldn't give you a raise, rarely said anything other than "I need" to you. From this chair, you're well rid of him!
Don't feel guilty for parting ways with a client who doesn't fit. You weren't paid what you were worth, you weren't treated like a professional, and you weren't enough feedback to make his projects correct. It was a business decision and once you find a client who treats you better, you'll soon lose any guilt you have with relief.
Paula, I figured you'd like this one. 🙂 Appreciate the small stuff – definitely makes the job worthwhile!
haha Yup, you nailed him! Thanks for the encouraging words, Lori.
Anon, you'll bless the day you moved on to find a better client.
I mimic my cat a lot – she doesn't panic and is never afraid to ask, over and over again, for what she wants.
Anon, I had not one, but two higher-paying clients who were just as demanding, late with checks, etc. Stress at ANY price point isn't worth it. You'll find better and you'll know how to handle it now. And sooner, I suspect! I don't know about you, but my sh*t meter pegs much faster these days. 🙂
Anne, that's a great role model. 🙂
And Cathy just got back, Paula, from one of those walks. Sadly – no dog – although I would love to have one. I LOVE dogs. 🙂
I admit, I have never seen the Dog Whisperer – really. So, I'll pick up the pointers here (better than picking up something else that dogs bring to mind) 🙂 and learn from your experience. 🙂
Drop the drama queens asap unless they're paying six figures plus combat pay plus two-weeks at the spa.
They aren't worth it, and there are better clients out there.
Hi Lori.
Haven't commented in a while. Been busy and focused!
Anyway, what I learned from my dog:
"Oh, my gosh, it's my best friend Fannie!"
"Oh, my gosh, it's my best friend Otis!"
"Oh, my gosh, it's my best friend Josie!"
In other words, you determine how you'll be today. Will you focus on being happy to see your friends, or will you be a Grumpy McGrumperson? Your clients will likely follow your lead.
P.S. Totally agree on the walks. I take my dog for two outings during the work day. One brief walk midmorning and a Michigan Ave. beach outing in the afternoon. I get as much out of them as he does.
Cathy, it's a nice show. He's basically teaching people how to be "pack leaders" so that the dog will pick up on that behavior and respond as part of the pack. Brilliant.
Devon, if they promised in writing to pay for a spa, I might actually consider the drama queens! LOL Alas, they rarely see their behavior as problematic, so they work without me, I say.
Gabriella! You're back! Definitely missed you, girl. Grumpy McGrumperson — I'm totally calling someone that this week. I like your perspective on how dogs approach other dogs. A lot to learn from our canine companions…
A walk along Michigan Ave sounds terrific. Great place to unwind! Better that you're doing it when it's warmer. Every time I've been there it's been December.