What’s on the iPod: Murray by Pete Yorn
Remember when you were taught to use a 50-cent word in place of a five-dollar one? In plenty of projects I handle and Internet postings I read, I see a multitude of sins against this piece of advice. So for the record, let’s just get it all out in the open.
Stop the overuse of bad business terms. These include:
– Core competencies
– Value proposition
– Matrixed environment
– Value-added services
And please, stop using the above terms on your resume. Seriously.
Understand the meaning of what you’re saying. This week’s examples of how it’s done wrong:
– Seasoned professional (Paprika? Hot sauce?)
– “We’re protruding into these new technology spaces.” (Does that hurt much?)
– “Project managed for the establishment of development of projects” (Huh?)
– “I’m willing to self-relocate.” (That saves us from moving you forcibly.)
Don’t rewrite it just because you can. So much time is wasted on revisions that swap around verbs, change up adjectives, and piss around with sentences to the point where the meaning goes missing.
– “I incentivize employees to propel past their goals.” (I’m not even sure that’s physically possible)
– “Homeless man under house arrest” (actual newspaper headline)
– “A non-double negative doesn’t occur when no two forms of non-negation aren’t not used in no not-same sentence.”
Simplify it, stupid. I know – it’s “Keep it simple, stupid” but we’re simplifying here. If you write sentences that could rival a William Faulkner paragraph, you’ve lost me. I love Faulkner, but he knew how to do it. You don’t.
– “Our fully functional, robust end-to-end user-friendly platform offers comprehensive scalability that, partnered with our revolutionary vendor management solutions, propels your business to the next level.” (And what does it DO exactly?)
– “XXXXX-X is a preclinical stage biopharmaceutical company with a broadly applicable, proprietary simple platform.” (Just because it’s true doesn’t mean I understand what you do.)
– “The simple platform enjoys an independent, unencumbered patent position and is free of target gatekeeping restrictions.” (Can a platform enjoy? Really?)
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