Bringing Down the Velvet Hammer

I had to approach an uncomfortable topic with a client recently – I was ruminating about it with a writer friend, basically revving myself up enough to just get it over with. So when I wrote to the client to assert certain working terms we’d agree on, I copied the writer friend. He wrote back – “Talk about a velvet hammer.” I reread it – damn, he’s right. That was pretty good.

There are going to be times when you and your client have differing opinions on what the scope of your services includes, what the work is supposed to entail, who your boss is, when the project is due, etc. You may have a contract, but that doesn’t make it any easier to approach the conversation. No one likes to be wrong, especially paying clients. What works for me is a sideways approach (naturally – I’m a Cancer). I get to the point, but not without preparing the client to hear it. Some clients are easier to talk with than others, and you may find yourself facing a client who may not take to being wrong or having brakes applied.

Here’s how I go about a touchy communication –

-Use email. Sometimes a phone call is essential when the client is irate or not understanding your point. In those cases, it’s best to get on the horn and address the anger or frustration instantly. But all other times, I opt for email. It’s easier to get an unpleasant thought worded appropriately if you’ve had time to revise it.

– Start with the positive. I never launch into facts that will embarrass or potentially upset my clients without first showing appreciation or giving positive feedback on the project to date. Don’t save this for last – by then your client isn’t going to be listening.

– Insert diplomacy. In one case a few years ago, the client’s contract clearly stated whom I’d be working with, and it was not the person whose emails were suddenly flooding my in box. I could have said very plainly “According to our contract, I am not required to work with this person.” But how’s that going to look to the client? Like I’m not someone who plays nice, that’s how. But anyone who’s ever had to work with a third party out of the blue understands how that can kill a project (and your fee) almost instantly. Instead, I sent a thank-you note, full of appreciation for the trust in my services, and with an additional paragraph stating that as of that moment, we’d fulfilled all terms in the contract. I then said that since this other person was interested in getting involved, I’d be glad to work out a new price for this and draw up a new agreement. Suddenly, that person’s feedback was no longer necessary. Amen.

– End with repeated thanks. You want to work for this person (or this person’s colleagues) again, don’t you? Then remember to end once more on a positive note. I always repeat my thanks and express interest in future projects.

Approaching touchy subjects with your clients without riling them up is do-able. It’s not a guarantee they won’t view you as impossible, but if you keep it framed professionally, you’ll assert your boundaries without them taking offense. And you’ll more than likely salvage the relationship and set a more realistic precedent for future projects.