Where Your Freelance Writing Guru is Wrong

It’s been a while since we’ve talked about one of the largest elephants in the freelance writing room.

That’s right — I’m talking about the self-professed writing guru.

Look, I have no problem with writers teaching others what they know. I have no problem with them charging for it, either. Really. Why shouldn’t they? They could be earning money instead of helping, so it’s only fair.

What I do have a problem with — well, I have a problem with a few things.

Here’s where your “guru” is steering your wrong:

The Overseller/Under-deliverer

“Here’s the mind-blowing idea that will rocket your freelance writing career into another stratosphere!”

Hell yes, you’re going to click on that. Well, unless you hate exclamation point overuse as badly as I do. But sure, you’d click. Who wouldn’t?

And sure, you’re going to find that mind-blowing idea.

Way, waaaay, waaaaaay down the page, and about five paragraphs beyond where your commitment to finding out should have ended.

Aren’t you glad you read through all that hype to finally get to this little game-changing nugget:

Write every day.

I wish I were kidding. But if you’ve read even one of these overblown posts/sales pitches, you know it’s true. The snake oil salesperson, a.k.a. your “guru” has decided you’re not terribly bright. Otherwise, why would they wrap this mundane little tidbit in so much shiny prose? They make it sound like this is one fantastically marvelous tool you can use every day to improve your business. And yes, writing every day will do that. But is that really worth 20 paragraphs? It is if you know what the point is.

The point is to get you to click through.

And you did. Dammit!

Well, we’ve all clicked through. What’s worse, in my opinion, is those writers/wanna-be writers who don’t see the ruse. This is a ploy to bring you to their side and get you to invest in their courses/books/coaching.

The Lone Voice

This is the blogger who, upon any pushback or healthy opposition to their main point, will screen comments. Yep, you now have a writer who wants to be the only opinion. You, writer with a bit more experience in that area? You can’t interject, nor can you correct errors. Your post won’t be approved.

The Bully

Saw this happen on a Twitter chat, but I’ve encountered it in other places, too. The writer’s opinion was countered, and right away, the gloves came off. At first I thought I might have misread, but no. Other writers were noticing and calling the opinionated one out on their attack. To which there was a folding of the wings around the little chicks and “Gee no, I was merely pointing out the fallacy and want to help, help, help….”

And because that writer couldn’t sell anything to these people if they’d called out the bad behavior.

In an exchange I was part of, I responded to some guy’s “Writing is dead” BS with “Here are several ways in which I think writing is very much alive.” He proceeded to argue vehemently how uninformed I was (you know, me, the writer making money at this writing thing), and how clients would never pay what I make hourly (even though I was proof they would).

I took a look at his profile. Here was a guy arguing that no one will pay for writing when he himself, a self-proclaimed success, was charging $250 an hour to corporations for … yep. Writing coaching. When it was obvious I’d won the point, he started arguing that the point he was trying to make was … hey wait, my point. Yes, he stole my point right there in public and made it his. Way to mansplain, dude!

The Exclaimer!

Stop with the damned exclamation points in every sentence. Please. They’ve become like literary knives to my eyeballs, and to the eyeballs of your audience. Just. Stop shouting. I always say if you’re shouting, your underlying message must be pretty weak. Fix that and leave the hype behind.

The Cheerleader

This one bugs me no end because it does no one any good except the Cheerleader. A writer is asking a question, and in that question about a client interaction, everyone can see there’s a misstep. Writers start to respond, “Hey, next time, drop this as it’s probably netting you zero attention” or something similar. Yep, those comments see no light of day, but the Cheerleader is go, go GO! You have a GREAT idea! You’re a rock star! You can do this!

Meanwhile, the writer continues to make the same misstep and their careers go nowhere. But hey, they feel really good that someone is in their corner, right? You don’t need a reality check — you need a pat on the head for doing anything at all! Aren’t you lucky?

Writers, what kinds of mistakes are these “gurus” making that drive you nuts?
What should newer freelancers do instead?