This Freelance Job, Not That Freelance Job

As you look over your career, you’re going to see plenty of ups and downs. If you’re fortunate, you’ll see more positives, and maybe you’ll see you’ve overcome some pretty significant negatives.

One negative that never changes is the crappy jobs that continue to be offered.

Thanks to writing chum Sharon Hurley Hall for this one. Sharon is currently dealing with water outages in Barbados where she lives. But she made time to send over what could be this year’s most insulting job posting for me to share here with you. May this be a lesson to us all on what not to agree to.

Without further adieu, I give you this month’s installment of This Job, Not That Job.

First, let’s take out the trash:

Experienced Writers Wanted

Would you like a steady stream of work that helps you keep your pipeline full? We’re looking to expand our team of copywriters and bloggers.

Earnings range from $32 for 1k words at Standard level to $52 for 1k words and $125 for 2k words at Pro level. We also offer opportunity to advance into editing and higher paying Expert level projects.

Project topics include Tech, Finance, Marketing, Travel, Fashion, Health, Baby, Real Estate, Legal, Automotive and more.

Payouts are processed weekly; one week after your content is accepted.

Learn more about our process here: https://LetUsConvinceYouWeAreLegit.com and here: https://LetUsConvinceYouInDetailNow.com/support-copywriters

Only native English speakers should apply. Most of our writers are located in the US, the UK, and Australia; but we accept applications from globe trotters as well.

Please apply with this link (removed to save you from making a BIG mistake)

Let’s unpack this, shall we?

Experienced Writers Wanted

Oh, I wish that meant they were going to pay for that experience. I really do. Alas, this has become a fairly frequent red flag in these job postings. How do I know? Because that title is often followed by crap like this:

Would you like a steady stream of work that helps you keep your pipeline full? We’re looking to expand our team of copywriters and bloggers.

Keep an eye out for these phrases:

• Steady stream
• Pipeline full
• Expanding our team

Why? Because it usually means they’re hiring dozens of writers at once. While that’s not always a bad thing, well, it’s almost always a bad thing. Need convincing? Let’s move on:

Earnings range from $32 for 1k words at Standard level to $52 for 1k words and $125 for 2k words at Pro level.

Ah. This one is interesting. First, you’re making a whopping 32 bucks for 1,000 words. Huh? I make $1,000 for that same 1,000 words. But read on — that’s for “Standard level” words. As if there are levels of words that somehow warrant less money. Well, maybe a sentence like “I know words. I have the best words” which, by the way, clearly isn’t the case. (Look it up.)

But if you use those undefined “Pro level” words, well, aren’t you the lucky one? Your payday jumps to a dizzying $52! Yes, my friend, by using bigger words than the current POTUS, you can increase your payment twenty whole dollars. Why have you not signed up already?

Oh, but they dangle that “$125 per 2,000 words” carrot right there, too. Anyone with a calculator knows that 52 times 2 is only 104. So if you are stupid enough decide to go for that 2K-word article, my, you’ve just improved your fortunes that much more! You lucky bastard, you.

We also offer opportunity to advance into editing and higher paying Expert level projects.

Wow, seems your fortunes just keep improving, right? Those “higher-paying Expert-level projects” (given to you by people who have no idea that hyphens exist) are going to have you making rain all over the place, right?

Wrong.

Only native English speakers should apply.

Yep, they’re paying shit wages when they have to warn off people from third world countries.

But!

we accept applications from globe trotters as well.

And maybe one of those globetrotters will know that it’s one word and not two….

Look, getting paid 3 cents a word is just nuts. Oh, and if you manage to worm your way into that elite Pro level, 5 cents a word still sucks. It just sucks 2 cents less than the Standard level.

Good luck paying your electric bill with that check. Or buying a McDonald’s 99-cent coffee. You might have to save a few weeks for that.

Just. Don’t.

Instead, look higher up the food chain. Try something like this:

Sierra

The storytelling arm of the Sierra Club, the United States’ oldest, largest, and most influential grassroots environmental group.

Looks for: features on green living and outdoor adventure with reporting about threats to the environment. Considers “carefully researched works of narrative nonfiction that relate significant environmental and conservation issues, adventure travel, natural sciences, self-propelled sports, and trends in green living through classic storytelling devices.”

Pays: $1/word to start, and up to $1.50/word for well-known writers with excellent credentials.

Imagine that — being paid the same amount for even the small words. Who knew?

Writers, do you remember the first lousy offer you spotted? What was it like?
Have you ever accepted less than you should, or been taken in by promises that weren’t delivered? How did you handle it?
What advice can you give newer writers about finding appropriate work?