3 Truths About Writing Advice

Forgive me if I’m repeating myself, but some of you need to hear this.

Hell, I’d argue we all need to hear this more often than we do. And thanks to my dear friend Cathy Miller, we got a wakeup call recently when she retweeted this post.

Cathy’s social media lessons form around the same thought: You’re the boss of your own destiny. She points out, rightly, that you are in charge of your business. Advice on what to do next is just someone’s opinion.

I argue that the person giving the opinion is part of the problem. What problem is that?

Telling you what to do without knowing who you are.

Frankly, anyone who thinks it’s okay to tell you what to do with your business is out of line. Advice is one thing — statements like the one Cathy points out about how doing X is a waste of time is interfering and making judgments they’re not in a position to make.

When I see someone doling out shitty advice (such as “you can’t make any connections on that platform” or “freelancing will never pay big bucks”), I wonder about who that person is. Not who they’re presenting themselves to be — plenty of writers put themselves out there as experts with nothing more than attitude and good web design to show for it. To me, anyone who is spouting off regularly about how you’re doing it wrong or how they would fix how you’re running your business — that’s an insecure person.

[bctt tweet=”Anyone spending the energy to judge your #writing business is not spending the energy paying attention to their own.” username=”LoriWidmer”]

Over the years, I’ve been handed advice — typically not asked for and definitely not warranted — that while it may sound like sound advice, doesn’t fit me at all. Fortunately, I’ve been around this gig long enough that I know my own business. But for those who aren’t so sure of themselves, I’ve identified some typical traits of people who cannot help themselves but to meddle in your business. Here are the reasons why it’s okay to ignore their asses:

#1: They’re looking for public acknowledgement.

Know that poster who can’t help but tell you in the comments section or on Twitter or LinkedIn just how wrong you are? That’s someone who is looking to push you down in order to validate their on bias. I’ve had it happen to me countless times. That writer who embarrasses you publicly to make a point — that’s someone who is covering for some shortcoming.

Not all disagreements online are someone looking for acknowledgement. But you’ll know it when it is. That’s someone who will tell you quite bluntly how you’re “screwing up” and what you should be doing instead. Again, they have no clue who your clients are, what your business model is, nor how you operate. Feel free to ignore.

#2: They don’t know as much as they claim.

How many times have you have chapter-and-verse of freelancing dictated to you by “well-meaning” writers. That’s in quotes for a reason — they don’t mean well. They mean to show how damn smart they are, or they’re doing it to get under your skin. I had one writer email me years ago when I was hosting a webinar. The writer wanted details about how I could possibly charge so little, and then went on to give me “advice” on how I should really be doing things. This is a writer whom I’d had one online exchange with, and a brief one at that. From her note, I realized she had no idea what she was doing, nor did she have any idea what I was doing. The best response was what I did — ignored it and didn’t respond. Why? I won’t defend myself to a stranger, nor will I acknowledge her need to feel important. That’s exactly what it was, too.

#3: They’re a lot less successful than you think.

I’m not one to think that the amount of money you earn defines success. Success is what you define, much like your business is what you define. That’s why I’ve always hated the “Earn Six Figures Freelancing” bullshit. If you earn $45K and your bills are paid, that’s just as successful as someone making $150K. We’re not here to compare bank accounts.

However, I’ve come across writers who have all the answers, yet a peek under the hood reveals — wait — they’re struggling like hell. One writer who was in my orbit would occasionally counter what I’d say on a particular forum. I looked forward to it because I thought she was someone I could learn from. But her advice seemed to miss the mark. Then I caught a mention from her on a different platform about how she was struggling to find work. This is someone who was saying that my method of finding clients wasn’t ideal. Maybe not, but it was working for me. Plus, I had plenty of clients thanks to doing what worked for me.

There’s another writer who touted her six-figure successes all over the place — even sold courses and books on the topic. Yet lift the hood a bit and it became obvious that not all of that came from freelancing. In fact, maybe just 60% did. Be careful who you listen to.

Writers, what’s your barometer for bullshit advice?
How deeply do you dig into the person who’s doling it out?