What’s on the iPod: Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns ‘N Roses
Weekends? Do people still have those? We are in full-blown wedding mode, and it’s about to get nuts. Saturday we were in Baltimore meeting one bride’s family. Sunday we were in Lancaster for another bride’s (my daughter’s) dress fitting. In two weeks we have the first of three bridal showers, two of which occur on the same day. I never made it to Connecticut to see my son, but I hope to get there this weekend, unless he’s managed to get fitted for his suit without me shoving him toward the store. If that’s the case, I can visit when things slow down.
So far, I’ve coordinated hotels for some guests, paid for alterations (nearly as much as the damn dress — thieves), put my tax forms in order (not filed yet, but he’s working on it), kept myself in the loop with what the bridesmaids are planning, and worked in the garden. That was yesterday. Saturday was all about Baltimore. We thought it would be a short trip. It turned into an all-day affair. We missed my husband’s department cocktail party as a result, arriving home well after midnight.
I was thinking about organization skills as I watched two different couples planning their weddings simultaneously. Maybe it’s the curse of being a freelancer, but I view the details each bride struggles over as things I’d have checked off my list quickly. One bride is clearly more prepared than the other, but there are different circumstances affecting each one. One’s job is infinitely more demanding, so her details are nowhere near finished. The other one is hyper-organized and has evenings and weekends to get things finished.
People are different and operate under different sets of constraints. It’s no clearer to me than right now, watching these young ladies pull together details for their big day(s). In my daughter’s case, she has her mom to help tie up details, and she has a supportive bunch of bridesmaids (they deserve medals for how supportive they’ve been), and she started planning the instant the ring hit her finger. My future stepdaughter-in-law is a chief resident with no time, no fiance close by (he’s a state away working), and is trying to please two cultures at once while staying true to herself. The help she’s getting is most likely not of the same level as my daughter. Still, she’s getting it done.
It’s much like that in our freelance writing world, isn’t it? Some of us are married to spouses with benefits, which lightens the load in a major way. Some of us are riding it out without insurance, fingers crossed. Some of us are paying mortgages, raising kids, caring for parents, replacing ancient cars or furnaces, etc. Each of us has a different set of circumstances we’re bringing to the desk as we sit down to write.
What I admire about every one of us — we take up the challenges and work our arses off to meet those obligations.
Maybe that’s what frosts me when I see writers taking any old job, any rate, and any story a non-paying client will use as an excuse. There’s too much at stake — many of us have too much skin in the game to just accept things as they’re presented to us (or demanded of us).
Like a bride trying to convince a caterer that the contracted price is all she’s paying (and I’ll be damned if they’re going to get away with the “Other charges may be incurred and will be applied at the time of invoice” line — you either tell me now what it costs or take it to court where you can explain why a signed contract doesn’t matter), writers need to defend their boundaries, their businesses, like it’s a matter of life or death. It’s certainly a matter of life — a successful, fulfilled life — and yes, it can be death if writers allow themselves to be controlled and their business terms to be dictated to them by people who may have bad intentions.
But back to organization for a minute — today, I’ll be finishing one story, hopefully finishing a second story, conducting an interview, and finalizing another interview date for a third story. Plus, there’s garden work to be done, my daily exercise regimen to fit in, and dinner. Then back to taxes.
An organized life, in my book, is an easier one to stand up for. If you know what your value is (and have the clients to show for it), you can turn down the offers that don’t fit or walk away from the clients who aren’t going to respect you.
Next month we’ll be celebrating the 6th Annual Writers Worth awareness campaign. I went on a tangent back in 2008 about writers not understanding the value of their skills, and it’s blossomed from one day to a month of motivation. This year, join us. Offer a guest post. Negotiate that higher rate. Reach out to higher-paying clients. Say no to what doesn’t fit. Do something this May that respects you and your writing business. Organize your confidence around your career. Create and use those boundaries. Find some way to make yourself happy with what you do.
Who’s in?
If you’d like to guest post, please send me a note at lwbean AT gmail.
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