Let’s just say this week has not been the most inspiring or motivating for me. It started out shaky with some project-related tensions. Though the project was completed successfully, it was an exercise in patience as things went from odd to completely bizarre. Another project seemed poised for disaster, as well. Still another jolt came this week that has me trying very hard not to question my abilities. Tuesday and Wednesday were my good days, and thank God for them. I received positive reinforcement in a few areas, which kept me away from tall bridges and cliffs. I’m staring at the weekend with anxious anticipation. Yes, anxious. It can’t come fast enough.
The worst part – no one to vent to. It’s obvious each time I have a crumbling kind of day that the solitary writer working at home has but pets to vent to and pillows to scream into. This week, I’m thankful for an attentive goldfish and Ikea pillows. I will say it’s ramped up my kickboxing and exercising, though. But there should be a writers’ vent group – a virtual team of email, phone, or anonymous online supporters and fellow venters who can share intimate details (we can’t give out details online lest we embarrass clients or ourselves) of the troubles they’re dealing with in exchange for a sympathetic shoulder to whine on. But I’m getting a bit dramatic.
Still, it’s pretty obvious that barring friends who write for a living and spouses who haven’t heard enough already, we writers are pretty much on our own in terms of dealing with job stress. We’re not just writers – we’re business owners. Everyone we talk to who isn’t a freelance writer or editor (or other contract worker) understands frustration from an employee perspective. Who understands what we’re going through?
We do. So we need not just accountability partners, but a support network. Who is your first choice when you have a problem and you need to talk it out? Is it a good idea to talk things out or is it a waste of time and energy? What do you do with those feelings of frustration? What’s the best way you’ve found to recover from a less-than-wonderful week?
11 responses to “Fridays, Dark Clouds, and Weekend Redemptions”
I'm lucky now I have a day job, as I have lots of lovely friends willing to listen to me have a moan, and duck if they think things may start flying around.
When I was a solitary freelance, though, I did email a few friends throughout the day, every day, and we'd often vent like that if necessary – if it was really bad, it meant a phone call. I had a husband for much of the time, too, but he didn't understand what all the fuss was about …
My email address can be found on my profile page. Please feel free to email me if you feel the need. 🙂
I have the luxury of a group of three close friends I meet with regularly. Two of us are freelance copywriters, one is self-employed in another field, and one is retired after years of being a solo consultant. We vent, share, laugh, cry, hold each other accountable, and problem solve together. I'd go crazy without them.
As you well know, I usually vent to you. I've got some friends from theatre who may not know the nuts and bolts of what I do writing-wise, but they're also interested enough to listen.
If I'm really angry, I write a short story and kill off a character based on the person totally pissing me off. Blows off a lot of steam, and, honestly, it usually winds up being a darkly funny piece because I start to see the humor/ridiculousness of it all.
Plus, then I get something sale-able out of it.
This week hasn't been good for me, either. We're nearing the end of the Mars retrograde (it does direct on the 10th), so it's pushing our buttons for all they're worth.
I decided to re-read Terry Brook's wonderful SOMETIMES THE MAGIC WORKS in order to get back on track.
Devon is my saving grace – she's my first choice and we share our war stories regularly. Thank you, doll. 🙂
Diane, thank you. 🙂 I like how you said "I had a husband for a time" as though you may have misplaced him. LOL
My writers group is somewhat like that, Eileen. Trouble is we see each other only once a month. We're a family, but like family we don't visit often.
I think it's the stars, which we all remember from last time. This year is a dilly so far, isn't it? I've had more work than ever (what recession?), surgery, outside projects that couldn't be put off JUST because I was busy, crazy clients, beautiful, understanding clients who are also up to their eyeballs in work, and creative writing sitting there in the corner with big moon-eyes looking at me a simpering because they're being neglected. And it's only fekking March! Fortunately I have a loving partner who is also a freelancer, so I can turn to her and say "ice cream?" and she knows exactly what's going on.
I may have to try Devon's strategy. After all. the best part of writing fiction is getting to play God with your characters. Smite the fools!
I have two freelancer friends to exchange war stories with. The other day one was about to send and e-mail and called saying, "Before I hit send, I needed a sanity check." (We were able to tweak her message so it didn't come across too nasty.)
I also have my sister, a freelance graphic designer, to commiserate with. This week she was dealing with fallout from a project guided by a total jerk. She was frustrated that his baseless complaints might damage her reputation (I guess everything he griped about the final product was something he'd personally approved), I suggested she start reading Lori's blog since there are so many good tips here about dealing with problematic clients.
"Still another jolt came this week that has me trying very hard not to question my abilities."
Lori:
Don't have much to offer here that hasn't already been touched upon by previous commenters — & I obviously have no insights beyond the vague details you've shared here — but I did want to add my $.02 worth regarding your questioning of your abilities.
In a word: Don't.
In 10 words: Stop doin' that right now! Really! (Yes, I mean you).
From your obvious writing talents to your just-as-obvious business acumen, professional dedication & passion for your craft, I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that you, as the kids are wont to opine, gots mad skillz 🙂
I only comment here on an intermittent basis, but I read your words every day, & every day I come away impressed both by what you write & how you write it. And thought I know that talent & dedication aren't enough to make one immune to work-related foibles & frustrations, I hope that you continue to fight the good fight against self-doubt.
And on a somewhat related note: Do fish have ears?
I have a few online writer friends who I can call and vent to, but I don't because I don't want to seem like a complainer–but a virtual team with a pre-appointed time to talk and vent??? HOLY CRAP I LOVE IT! Then, I would never feel like I was bothering anyone when I call with my high-pitched whiny voice! You need to put this together. DO IT!!! My hubby will be so grateful 🙂
As far as doubting yourself, hahahahaha–welcome, welcome to my own personal hell. Almost every single day I find something doubt worthy. I am Mrs. Doubtworthy. No matter how many times I've done something well, one complaint has me pulling up every single piece of similar work I've done and rereading it to determine whether I'm good or bad. Hopefully, someday, that will stop. Hopefully 🙂
Get away from your computer this weekend, spend time with people who love and value you, and eat some Ben & Jerry's and you should be ready to face Monday with a refreshed attitude ;->
IM has been my much-needed friend for times like those. I'm usually available during the day, Lori. Feel free to ping me on GTalk, if you have it (lolagoetz) or pretty much any of the IM services under that name.
I know what you mean about being at home & needing someone to vent to about work. Seriously, feel free to hit me up any time!
(After many years of "knowing" you from About's & Anne's forums, I feel comfortable commiserating about work stuff. 🙂 )
Hang on to that thought, Hugh. This week's shaping up into another doozy. Ugh. Thank you for the pep talk, which I didn't think I needed until today's heaviness descended. I refuse to question. I know I can do this. (I've always wanted mad skillz!) Thank you. Your words humble me. I'm hoping to live up to them someday.
And fish DO have ears – when I say "Hey, Fishy" in that way, he starts flipping out. I thought it was excitement over the attention, but it could be the result of being in a tank with no hiding place…
Joseph, I'm about to depart to another planet – the stars here are sucking me dry!
I have someone like that in my life, too. It's very nice when an arm around the shoulder or a nice meal can bring you back to life a bit.
Becky, I adore you. And I'll take you up on it. 🙂 Thank you, doll.
Yo, like you, I'm afraid of sucking poor Devon dry. She's my confidant, but it's been such a weirdly bad few weeks that even she's got limits on what she'll want to hear, I'm sure!
And I was serious – I'd be more than happy to set up a private online space or an email chain for the purpose of venting, commisserating, or reality checking. And Becky, you're my first contact for that. 🙂
Aw, thanks for your response, Lori. Totally made my evening. 🙂