My friend related this story to me a while ago. It bears repeating.
She was driving home from her sister’s and was within a mile of her house when she saw the lights flashing behind her. She pulled over, trying to figure out what she’d done wrong.
The officer approached her car window and asked her to roll down all of her windows. He looked in the back and saw my friend’s 10-year-old nephew. Then the officer proceeded to berate her about … her car windows. Apparently, her windows were tinted, and he was upset that he couldn’t see easily into the back of her car. Mind you, this is a car she’d bought three years earlier. Same car that had never been pulled over before this.
She apologized and said she didn’t realize it was a problem. The officer replied, “What if you’d had four guys in the back? I’d never know.”
To which I said, “What if you’d had? Why would that matter?” But we both knew the reason why it mattered very much to this particular officer.
My friend is an African American woman.
She was driving through her own neighborhood — one in which the police force is notorious for racial profiling.
Let’s look at the officer’s response again. “What if you’d had four guys in the back?”
Other than possibly not having enough seat belts, that statement assumes she, a black woman, is doing something wrong. It assumes the windows are tinted on purpose — to hide what’s going on in the back. It assumes that the passengers in the back are “four guys.” It assumes that those “four guys” are up to no good. It assumes/implies that those four guys are all black. It assumes that she has no legal right to drive anyone anywhere in her car. It assumes that she owes him an explanation for 1) why the windows are tinted on a car she bought used, 2) who’s in the back seat, 3) what she’s doing in that neighborhood — you know, the one she lives in, 4) who she hangs out with.
This isn’t a micro-aggression. It’s pure aggression. It’s racism. And if you’re white, I guarantee you that it’s never happened to you.
It’s exactly the kind of racism we as a community need to speak up against. And yet, when this same story was told to someone who’d lived in the area a long time, the response was, “Oh, our police department is horrible and has been for years.”
And what exactly has anyone done about it?
Look, it’s not up to the African American community, nor any minority community, to fix these issues. It’s up to everyone in that community to demand better. We as writers have an obligation to educate our peers, our audiences and our communities on the injustices that are occurring right under our noses. We have a duty to make noise and demand changes. It’s up to every one of us to raise awareness and to call out instances of racism.
My writer chum Sharon Hurley Hall has a great Anti-Racism newsletter. Sharon tackles racism by pointing out the issues, by talking with change-makers, and by making racism a front-and-center conversation. In her latest installment, Sharon challenges us, the would-be allies, to educate those who are determined to misunderstand.
As writers, we have a unique ability to find the phrasing and arguments (and facts) that convince. Admittedly, racism is an ingrained behavior that is probably the toughest behavior to convince someone out of. Still, I’m of the opinion if you plant a seed, water it, it will eventually sprout.
Here are some comments that I’ve been faced with in the past when I tried to talk someone out of racism (NOT my thoughts, but those of others):
- Why is everything “racist” suddenly? I’m tired of people getting so bent out of shape
- I’m not a racist, but …
- Well, if speaking my mind makes me a racist, then I’m a racist and I don’t care
- They need to stop whining and being so damn sensitive
And on and on. In the past, I would actually respond defensively to those statements. However, I think the better response would be something like this:
- Why do you think that would upset someone?
- Have you had someone insult you like that before? Tell me about it. (That worked really well when it was #MeToo and the woman was going on about women whining. Turns out this woman had a very similar story, so perhaps a bit of deflection?)
- Do you suppose they’re frustrated because no one is paying attention?
- I guess I remember when that manager of mine would call the Hispanic man names behind his back. Can’t be fun being someone’s verbal punching bag.
One person responded really well when I turned it from a black person to a Jewish person. “I cannot fathom why anyone would hate a Jewish person,” they said. My response was, “Yes, I agree. I don’t see how anyone can hate another human.”
I guess the point is that in personal conversations, you’ll never win the battle by direct combat. For me, I’ve made some inroads with the questions based on the person’s hateful words. But when it’s a community-wide issue, that’s when the gloves come off. Everyone who lives in a community should feel safe and welcome. Anything less won’t do for any of us.
What can we do as writers?
- Raise awareness through blogs, articles, social media and personal interactions
- Call out racist corporations, statements, actions and people
- Reframe the conversation to draw people to your side
- Use our skills to inform and educate
Writers, what are you doing to combat racism? Have you ever witnessed or experienced racism? Please share what you can.
10 responses to “Using Freelancing to Combat Racism”
Lori, I’m so happy to see you taking a stand. As writers, we’re in a great position to get the word out. I look on it as using my gift for good.
My efforts pale in comparison to yours, Sharon. But every little bit is a step in the right direction. 🙂
When you think about it, writers are professional communicators. How we interact with others is communication at its most basic. Racism is not a political issue. It’s about violating human rights and should not be tolerated or accepted.
P.S. Sharon, your gift shines.
Posts like this one are why I wish there was a “love” button on WordPress. Thank you, Cathy. Couldn’t have said it any better. 🙂
We all agree on the like/love button. 🙂
Excellent post, Lori. Your “plant a seed, water it and eventually it will sprout,” analogy is true. Only with so many weeds trying to choke each seedling out, we need to be sowing entire fields.
A former neighbor of mine was raised with a racist, bigoted “us/them” mentality. The only thing that ever got her to think beyond her own preconceived ideas was reframing things and asking her how she would feel, react, or behave in similar circumstances. She didn’t take well to hearing facts or lectures, so empathy was the only approach that worked. Nearly every conversation I had with her included a bit of reframing, but she eventually befriended neighbors from India (who she was suspicious of when they first moved in because she couldn’t tell “what” they were), became the go-to babysitter for an interracial couple who lived next door to her, and even got to know our Cuban, Mexican, Black, and Jewish neighbors as well as the white ones. Her life was all the richer for it, too.
I was looking for a like/love button for the replies, too, Lori!
That’s a great story of transformation, Paula. I’m glad she found that people are good and that preconceived prejudices are stupid.
I’ve often thought that people convicted of hate crimes or discrimination should be ordered to work and/or live in the communities they are doing harm to. Ignorance isn’t blotted out with words, but with experience and understanding.
Excellent post, Lori.
I’m relieved that there’s more diversity here than in my last location. I regularly challenged, in the previous location, white people for racist remarks, especially to staff in stores, restaurants, and libraries. I gave a colleague from the artist networking group a ride home one day and was pulled over by the cops and asked why I had “that kind” of man in my car (it was a black man), and did I need help.
Let me point out that the regular harrassement I received at that last location, attempts to run me off the road repeatedly, and where I filed multiple police reports, were only done by white men with Trump flags/stickers on their vehicles.
There was also, every spring, the spate of editorials in the newspapers about the need to “hide” the homeless or “transport them” somewhere else, so they “wouldn’t upset the tourists.” Most of the homeless in that area where Brazilian or Indigionous or Cape Verdean. Also, in that area, only 2% of the population is black, so there was a LOT of racism. Every day. In stores, in restaurants, at the library where I worked for two years, in the nonprofits that were supposed to combat it, in the churches, at the resorts. . .it was disgusting. And, since the 2016 election, it got exponentially worse. Whenever I wrote counter letters to the editors, asking why weren’t solutions being created to solve the problem of homelessness (and then listing several actionable steps on both personal and political levels), rather than trying to hide them so as not to upset the tourists, the editors deemed those letters “inappropriate” for publication. I brought it up with my State Senatar, and we did some work on the issue, but the general consensus among the housed population there is that the homeless “must have done something to deserve it.”
A former boss was constantly making comments, using ALL the quotes you have above, but, you know, “wasn’t a racist” because she had a black employee. I said, “If you’re not a racist, then don’t make racist comments. It’s not hard.”
I’m watching for it where I live now (because it must exist, it exists everywhere). I hope it’s not as bad as at The Previous Location. I never feel like I’m doing enough. Thank goodness for Sharon’s work; it teaches me constantly, and helps me strive to do better, both personally and professionally.
I’m so sick and tired of the worst people getting away with it all the time.
Another comment: I do think we have to be careful with this “racists are really good people who don’t know better” fairy tale. In some cases, such as the case of Paula’s neighbor, perhaps it is true. But I have yet to meet a racist who wasn’t also a vile human being in other areas of their lives. Often, it is a choice that makes them feel good about themselves as superior and powerful. I don’t agree with coddling them and giving them a pass for “not knowing better.”
My mother had never met or even seen a black person until World War II, when she metblack American soldiers after escaping from Russian prison camp. She didn’t assume they were inferior. She wasn’t frightened of them because of skin color (although she was wary, because it was American soldiers — and a white commanding officer — who initally turned the group of people she traveled with over to the Russians and were the reaosn she was in prison camp to begin with). She was interested in them as fellow human beings with different experiences.
Racism doesn’t have to be a default. More often, it’s a choice.
Thank you, Devon. Very thoughtful comments.
It is very much indeed a choice. I’ve seen patterns of behavior over the years in the ones who are clearly racist. They’re the quickest to judge ANYONE in any situation. They tend to insult as a joke. They’re the first to say, “Get over it” when their own behavior is unacceptable to someone else. They’re the ones who tell the off-color jokes that put down another demographic or three. And I’m not going out on a limb to observe that a lot of these same people did indeed vote for Trump (from personal experience only). He talks the way they’ve always wanted to talk. Basically, he took the muzzles off.
And they are the ones who bitch about not being able to say anything that would offend while at the same time bitching because they were offended. Double standards run pretty rampant.
I tend to live and let live. What I won’t do is tolerate racism or the diminishing of anyone at the hands of people who don’t show any regard for anyone other than their own circle. I’ve called out quite a few who post “jokes” that are racist and antisemitic. I’ve told people directly why I’m no longer interested in being in their orbit. And the level of ignorance displayed in some of their responses was astounding. One person actually said, “I can look beyond the racism and just enjoy the joke.” You cannot tell someone that thick that when racism IS the joke, it’s not funny on any level.