Ah, December. A time in which you’re either refreshing your email constantly looking for client work or so busy you forget to wrap presents. Or buy them.
No matter what camp you’re in this year, let’s start December with some fun facts. Freelance tells, let’s call them. Observations from some of the shit that’s been floating around the internet and my social media inboxes. Please feel free to share your observations, too.
We can tell you’re not a writer.
A message to my LinkedIn page revealed so much in just two words. The person had forwarded an email from someone named “stan” who appeared to be asking for a mentor or a coach. Yet the person who sent it, for some reason, wrote this:
I RIGHT
No. No you don’t. Next!
There is such a thing as job security.
No, video editing is not “chopping video up into smaller chunks” (thank you for this one, Devon). “Copyrighting” is not the same as “copywriting” (and how many would you guess have applied for jobs that ask for copyrighting skills?). And it isn’t tough to look up what a CV is when the client asks for one. And yet invariably, the question comes up on social media sites.
Here’s how you lost the job.
The poster: “We’re hiring a freelancer to develop online content for our automotive industry publication. DM with two relevant samples.”
The response: “I’m available. Ping me.”
News flash — That writer is not getting that gig. If you don’t know why, go back and reread the requirements. They’re right there.
Your inexperience is showing.
“Which is better: Upwork or Fiverr? Looking to find more work.”
Passive marketing begets passive pay rates. Period. Besides, all your hard work “vetting” between these sites speaks volumes to those looking to hire professional, experienced writers.
Discontent is not a job requirement.
“Freelancing is dead. I can’t get anyone to pay more than 10 cents a word. How does anyone expect me to survive on these job sites?”
Answer: They don’t. They expect writers to work for literal dimes per word so they can meet their goals. They don’t give a single damn about the writer’s needs because writers passively marketing are their bread and butter.
Oh, and that writer just tipped off another group of would-be clients that they’re not a serious professional by griping online about it.
The hiring person really does know what they want, you know?
The post: “We are looking for a writer with 5 years of expertise in metallurgy. Must have experience in materials technology and powder metallurgy.”
The response: “It’s not fair that you want only experienced writers. I can write about anything!”
For all writers who ever responded like this or thought about it, I pose this question: Did you ever hire a retail clerk to put a roof on your house? How about letting your dentist perform your thyroidectomy? Want a teacher to set your kid’s broken leg? No? That’s why this hiring person wants someone who understands what they’re writing about. While you may be able to write about anything, you’re not going to write well and convincingly on this topic without understanding the industry.
Burning bridges means some writer somewhere is about to be stranded.
“You didn’t hire me. Here’s how you f*cked up at your job by not doing so ….”
Because everyone who has ever turned down someone for employment now is never going to reconsider that same person for a future position, right? That client who said no today is not the same one who will have a bigger budget in three years and come looking for freelancers, right? They’re not a client who speaks to others in the industry who may indeed be looking for a writer with just that person’s experience, right? Wrong. But one thing is obvious: They won’t be knocking on your door if you sent them that response. Worse, if it’s public, they’ll be sure to remember you because on the internet, things stick around forever.
6 responses to “6 Revealing Freelance F-Ups”
The lack of basic reading comprehension always gets me.
I frequently have people who subscribe for emailed leads from my job board email me directly. They don’t understand what a job board is and think I’m the hiring party. So I see a lot of lousy pitches.
They range from demanding I tell them more (Dude, there’s a link right in there to more details and telling you how to apply.) to people asking how they can start “posting” (on my site, which is in no way related to the job ads they’re responding to).
It’s exhausting. And I ignore them at this point. If you can’t handle reading and following basic applicant instructions, I’m certainly not interested in hiring you, nor would I ever recommend or wish you on another potential client.
Yep, right to my third point, Jenn. If they can’t pay attention to the details, they’ve already lost. Cannot tell you how many marketing people send me article pitches, how many send pitches for experts or topics I’ve no intention of using or covering, how many will bog my inbox down with useless crap that is so far off the mark they’d need a GPS to get there ….
Listening and comprehending IS the first requirement of running a freelance writing business.
I think I’ve mentioned this before, but a friend who used to work for a magazine said 85% of the submissions are ditched without being read because they don’t follow the submission guidelines.
I taught a class on submission guidelines once, and some of the students argued about “not wanting to do it that way” and I said, “Well, then you won’t be accepted by that particular publication” and they were angry that the publication wouldn’t change to fit their whims. That’s not how it works, people.
If I see things in an ad that I don’t like, hey, I don’t pitch!
I admit, sometimes I’ve pitched myself in arenas out of my wheelhouse, but I state that I haven’t worked in that field, but this is why I think skills I’ve demonstrated in an adjacent field would translate. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t. But I know it’s a stretch/risk going in.
Also, the panic from former clients from whom I did marketing work with the demise of Twitter is astonishing. They want to “know” what will work going forward. I keep telling them, none of us know. WE’re making it up and seeing which factions wind up on which platform, and then we can figure it out. I’ve seen a couple of people positioning themselves as Social Media Marketing Transition Gurus and I’m like WTF?
It’s like those “six figure freelancers” who make their 6 figures by taking money from baby freelancers trying to find a magic formula.
Tangent, sorry.
Devon, your tangents are always welcome here. I agree with you on all counts, my friend.
I’ve done the same — pitched to a topic or pub outside of my wheelhouse. But I tend to show the editors how my background can enhance the slant they’re looking for. Like you, sometimes it works, sometimes not. It’s a gamble, but one worth trying if you truly think you can address the topic adequately.
Wow, so someone is already trying to bank on the need to transition out of Twitter? Not hard — find a different platform, work it. LOL
When I was hiring freelancers, an applicant sent me an email that said “Suck my [guess what this word was].” We had enough people for that project, but I might have considered him for the next one…until I got this email, of course!
WOW. That’s a good way to burn a bridge! I wonder if he realizes that his idiot behavior is not only juvenile, but destructive to his career? Something tells me he doesn’t care. Or is employed elsewhere.
Good seeing you here, Leigh. 🙂