Sometimes you come up against someone who, for whatever reason, cannot help being an asshole.
The person who tells you that your assigned article is not the one you should be writing, but this one is better, and proceeds to talk about their chosen topic. Or the person who blames you for their mistakes. Or the person who won’t apologize after saying something so vile to you when they think you screwed up, only to find out they were the ones to blame. Or the client who treats you like an admin. Or the source who tries to bully or threaten you into letting them review the copy before publication.
Yeah, you know the type.
Unfortunately, all of the above has happened to me (and probably to you) in my 22 years of writing for my chosen industry. Yes, it happened when I was on staff, too. Employee status does not eliminate any of the BS. Some of the worst offenders, in fact, were those that tried that shit with me when I was a senior editor.
Didn’t wash then, won’t wash now.
I’m reminded of this because a friend shared her experience with what I thought was a high-level publicist. The way her source talked down to her, insulting her writing, insulting her organizational skills, and drawing a hard line in the sand, I was sure this was someone who had some weight to throw around. Color me shocked when I realized she was a local kitchen designer. And not a good one, either.
With pandemic stress bearing down on us like anvils on top of coyotes, it happens. Nerves snap. People say shit that isn’t appropriate. Yet when given the opportunity to clear the air, this particular source didn’t. No apology for calling into question the talent of the writer. There was an apology, from someone else in the office, but there was still a bit of a threat. Do as I say or take me out of that piece.
[bctt tweet=”Writer, you do not have to endure horrible behavior from #freelancewriting contacts or clients.” username=”LoriWidmer”]
How you handle it depends on who’s doling it out.
The client.
Having had clients (always new ones) behave like this, there’s only one course of action — finish the job, collect the check, lose their contact info. If it’s a client you’ve been working with who, for some reason, has decided to talk to you like you’re an idiot, call them on it. I know a writer who let her client know that while she’s happy to get constructive feedback, she’s not serving as her client’s verbal punching bag. The client apologized. That doesn’t always happen, as was the case when a client misread something and thought I’d made a huge mistake (I hadn’t) and proceeded to call me unprofessional, a liar, and a thief (yes, he did). When I pointed out that he’d misread, his comment was “Oh, I thought maybe I had. No worries.”
Worries, dude. And f*ck your kumbaya moment after you light into me. I left him as quickly as the check could clear.
The source.
Too many times, sources try to get more than they’re allowed. One woman, who was told the process in email ahead of the interview, tried threats and wanted to be left out of the article when I wouldn’t let her review the article. I offered the quotes in context, but that wasn’t enough. She was demanding. What to do?
In that case, that’s the editor’s call. In fact, when you have a particularly difficult person making demands, reminding them that you aren’t in a position to make those decisions gets you out from under the anger. I pass these sorts of tirades on to the editors, who know what their policies are and can better handle the situation.
Like the dude who called me 14 times in one afternoon because he wanted to review the article that I told him — three times — he wasn’t able to review. His response every time was “Just send those over when you’re done so we can give approval.” The word “approval” suggested much, much more control over a product they didn’t own than anyone should get. So I kicked it upstream to the editor, who pushed it to the publisher because it was a large client partner, and there needed to be a familiar person explaining the limits.
A reader.
Normally, we writers don’t get controversial comments on our work. But the few times I took on gender-related pieces, the pushback was insane. Men were taking me to task online. One approached the editor-in-chief at a trade show and told him “She needs to learn more about this industry before she writes garbage like that.” The garbage? Women in leadership roles in the industry. To his credit, the EIC replied, “Dude, she is your f*cking industry.”
When I wrote about the gender wage gap, I was mansplained how it “really” is — women, I was told, don’t earn as much because they don’t do as much. And this guy was schooling me on that fact. Fortunately, there were plenty of other voices, male and female, drowning him out.
What do you do when the readers are leading a revolt?
Nothing. Not one thing.
Unless the editor wants you to make a statement, let all screeching die from lack of daylight. I remember one article that wasn’t supposed to be controversial, but they were tripping over each other to comment and duke it out. The editor was thrilled — tons of traffic to the site and lots of exposure. All because someone didn’t like a point I’d made, backed up by ample studies and data. If the editors are happy, it’s not your worry.
Writers, how do you handle difficult clients, sources, or commentary?
What other brick walls have you run up against?
30 responses to “When Freelance Clients Behave Badly”
Oh, seen so much of this.
When people ask to review copy before I interview them, I simply tell them I can’t do that. And most back off.
If they push, I decide how much I want to interview them. If I really want to interview the person, I say, “I work for many publications, and each one has a different policy. I’ll let the editor know you asked, and that’s it’s possible, I’ll let you know.”
And then I do nothing. I never let my editor know, and I never get back in touch. And it’s never blown back at me.
I did have a woman say she didn’t want to be interviewed a second time by me because I didn’t send her the copy to review before publication, as I’d promised. I said, “Hm, I can’t imagine I said that to you since I never do that.” She said, “Oh, I must have misunderstood.”
The worst: People who say AFTER YOU’VE INTERVIEWED THEM, “Please send me the copy for review.” I always say, “I’m sorry, but I don’t do that. And that’s a request you should have made before we did the interview–I’d have let you know then that it’s not possible. If this is a dealbreaker, please let me know and I won’t include you in the article.”
And they back down.
Here’s why this makes me so mad: Most often, they freaking know better. They know they’re making a request only a bully would make, and they’re testing their target to see how weak the target is. Standing up works nearly every time.
Ugh. People.
I have to run so I can get to my happy place–the pool. Or I’d go on and on about the bullies. Like the staffer who whined to her boss that I edited her absolutely crappy, over-promotional, spilling-with-exclamation points copy. I was ready to leave the client if I had to negotiate every edit with that crappy of a writer. Thankfully, that died down. That would have been a huge financial loss, but I’m nearing the end of my career, and life’s too short to argue with people over stuff that won’t matter tomorrow, let alone six months from now.
I had a pushy publicist (who thought I was new to the business) claim my editor, always let her review copy, because it was standard practice. I told her I was surprised to hear that, since he was adamant that we NOT show sources or publicists copy. And I wouldn’t still be working after all this time if I let people preview copy since my editors (insert list of publications she’d love to get her clients in) don’t allow that.
She backed down. I “lost” her contact info.
Paula, right? I have a do-not-call memory. You screw with me once, I’m out. Just done!
Well Gabriella, you mention her by name and she shows up in my email today. K*t Flei**hman is now emailing me and you are right — there is no unsubscribe link.
Is she a real person?
I believe she’s real. https://www.linkedin.com/in/k******/ Unprofessional, but real.
Oof. Just checked and that one hit me back in January. Makes you wonder how many writers they put on blast.
Unprofessional is right. Ugh.
Tempted though I may be, I am not even going to click the link to her profile. She probably has the premium version of LinkedIn so she can see (and spam) anyone who views her profile.
Enjoy your happy place, Gabriella. 🙂
I love your methods and your wording. I’ve had a few people who were pushy, but the majority are polite when they ask if it’s possible. That I don’t mind — they are genuinely asking, not demanding. For those people, I’ll offer to send quotes plus some context for their review.
Great comment! Thank you. 🙂
“And not a good one, either.”
I will forever love you for your pettiness. 🙂
Paula updated me yesterday on what happened. And I can’t even imagine. She’s the nicest person. She’s great at what she does. The snide BS was beyond uncalled for.
I’m sorry you’ve both dealt with garbage like this. But I’m glad you’ve also both had editors who’ve had your back.
I had a pushy publicist (who thought I was new to the business) claim my editor, always let her review copy, because it was standard practice. I told her I was surprised to hear that, since he was adamant that we NOT show sources or publicists copy. And I wouldn’t still be working after all this time if I let people preview copy since my editors (insert list of publications she’d love to get her clients in) don’t allow that.
She backed down. I “lost” her contact info.
Ooops. That’s what I get for posting from my phone.
My reply to Jenn is: I was thrilled to read the flurry of replies from my editor (the passive aggressive insults were hurled at me in a reply-all they had cc’d to my editor, of course).
They came in reverse chronological order. First one thanking me for dealing with it so calmly. Second was my favorite: “They called your writing sub-par? OMG!!” The third was a reply to a separate note I sent apologizing for the craziness, where he said he should apologize to me for including them as a source.
Hey, at least now he knows not to (or can’t act surprised if they pull something similar down the road).
As for the pushy publicist, I feel you. Not a fan of most publicists — coming from both the freelance writing and PR perspectives. Frustrates the hell out of me that some even pretend to be under the PR umbrella with no understanding of how that bad behavior causes reputational issues for their clients or employers in the process. (Many don’t come from pro PR backgrounds at all.) Grotesque, especially the outright lying to try to get a peak. So sorry you have to deal with that nonsense.
Oh, Jenn just got me started on PR people. Many are wonderful and very skilled.
But those who aren’t?
I’ll just share this briefly. You’re probably all like me: You get added to PR lists without your knowledge. Not really a biggie if their unsubscribe works.
There’s a PR woman, K*t Fl**shman of Femmep**neur and another PR company, who has me on both of her PR firms’ email lists, and there’s no freaking unsubscribe button.
So I emailed asking to be removed from the PR list. No joy. Repeatedly. Still no joy.
Then I texted. No joy.
Then I actually called her and spoke with her, and she said: “You need to update your profile in the Cision database.”
I lost it! I said, no, you need to follow the CAN SPAM act and add an unsubscribe button to your emails! I also said: How is this good PR when you’re irritating to no end the people you’re trying to interest?????
Still no joy. I still kept getting PR emails.
So I’ve started reporting every email I get from her to the FCC and the FTC as violations of the CAN SPAM act. And I’m pasting in a screen grab of every report I make.
I hope she gets fined. Something like $20K a violation if it’s egregious.
I know. It’s a crusade. But how is that good PR????
PS: I agree, Lori, a polite request and a reasonable response to my explanation, all good.
Can’t respond directly to Gabriella because it’s too-far nested, but I mentioned in response to Lori earlier that I got hit by the same one.
As a long-time PR professional, I assure you, legit ones don’t behave like this.
These kinds of blasts have gotten a lot worse over the past 10 years or so as internet marketers and the sleazier SEO folks have co-opted the PR label to make themselves seem more legitimate.
They also take over our tools until they destroy them (like they did w/ press release distribution platforms years ago, getting them essentially penalized by Google by abusing their link structures and using them as a way to post crappy content that was in no way newsworthy).
Something I occasionally do (but haven’t with this one) is check on who they’re promoting. It’s often one of two situations:
1. It’s a shady internet marketer or some kid playing PR for a quick buck w/o understanding the first thing about it.
2. It’s the person being promoted, essentially posing as a fake publicist for themselves.
What I do then is look up whomever they’re trying to get coverage or an interview for.
Then I’ll contact them directly to ask if they’re aware of the spam campaigns being committed under their name, and the damage that can do not only to their reputation with bloggers and journalists, but also that could get them penalized in search.
These are often ultimately about SEO and using citations to rank, so the threat of a Google penalty can get them off your back.
Looking at the email I have from this person, I suspect it might be something else though…
They’re promoting someone named “Sharon” but continually refer to them as “he.” Now, it’s very possible that’s a male name in some cultures that I’m not aware of. But that coupled with the fact the name and other key elements are in bold is a red flag.
I checked the source code for the email, and these bold items are also in an 11.5pt font size whereas the rest of the email is 11pt. This smells of an import of sorts. So it could be a lousy marketer or SEO person importing client info into this template and adding their quote and links.
Maybe it’s because they’re really hoping for mentions and links on your site(s). But given there are three links in the same niche included along w/ the social media profiles (which might be legit but are also easy enough to fake), it could just be a spam campaign for traffic, hoping you click those links and drive up their numbers for ad revenue or something.
I haven’t dug deep into the code on this one, but another big red flag:
Thankfully I just moved to a new computer and haven’t changed my Outlook settings yet, so it’s blocking most images by default. I could see at the bottom of the email there was a blocked image.
I told Outlook to display the images, and guess what? No image appeared at the end of that email. Any time there’s a hidden image, it could be tracking-oriented or otherwise malicious. In this case it’s something hosted on AWS, but I haven’t tried pulling it up directly in case it’s a problem image.
This is sketchy af, so I highly recommend blocking the sender name, address, subject line, or whatever you can just in case they’re including malicious files.
One thing I’m 100% sure of. This isn’t a PR person. Most wouldn’t know how to do something like that even if they wanted to. LOL
Oh… and I’ll dig more into this over the weekend or next week. But another thing you can do is trace the ownership of the site through things like WhoIsHostingThis.com or reverse IP lookups.
That’s especially helpful when they use an email address that’s tied to their own domain. What they’re doing could very well be getting processed through their own host’s servers, and that’s going to violate the TOS of pretty much every one of them.
If I trace it to somewhere w/ abuse reporting, I’ll see about getting their host involved. It’s also helpful to see if those sites being promoted are on the same or neighbor IPs, or with the same host even, which could indicate the spam is directly from the person or company they’re pretending to promote.
If I learn anything more later, I’ll try to remember to post here. In the meantime, please block this stuff just to be safe given the hidden image and such.
I call it as I see it, Jenn. If the woman were good, I could almost see her reason for being bossy. But please. Spare me the diva display when you’re just putting new cabinets where old ones used to be.
“Approval.”
Publicists only get to approve copy they’ve commissioned.
Sources don’t get to approve or “edit” copy. Some editors might allow sources to review copy for accuracy, but that doesn’t allow them to revise or change anything else.
I actually laughed when that person called my writing “sub par.” They know as little about writing as I know about their profession, so their opinion about anything involving words means nothing.
Paula, you saw it for what it was — a power move. I think the editor warning you in advance didn’t hurt.
Approval is definitely reserved for paying clients, not for sources. They agree to talk. That agreement comes with the understanding that they will be quoted. It comes with no other promise.
Jeezuz, Gabriella! They should be fined for that! With no way to unsubscribe, you’re stuck in their loop of hell. I know because Network Solutions has done the same damn thing to me. I cannot get off their list for the same reason. I’ve begged. I’ve threatened. I’ve canceled my account, which, by the way you cannot do, either. Oh sure, you can remove your payment method, but they won’t let you delete your own account.
And they’re a tech company. They should know better.
Gabriella and all — at the advice of our chum Jenn, I’ve removed direct mention of the offending marketer mentioned. She has to have bots that are finding every instance of her name or something, for the same day she was mentioned here, I started getting her emails.
If you want to know her name, read between the lines. I altered in a way that if you scroll, you’ll still know her name.
Jenn, holy crap! I’ve learned so much reading your comment. I just assumed she was an actual PR woman, but a very bad one. Wooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Thanks for digging in like you did!
Some updates on the pitch spam several of us are receiving:
– I wouldn’t worry about the image issue I saw in a previous image. I suspect it was an improperly-loading headshot in this case, not anything malicious. Just be aware that can be the case, so be careful about letting your email service or software load images from unfamiliar addresses.
– This looks like it might be a rare case of an actual PR professional behaving badly. I use that label very loosely though.
– I’ve sent her an email essentially giving her one shot to discard her harvested list and stop her CAN-SPAM ACT violating behavior. I’ve also blocked her at my server level after receiving two more spam messages today. And I’ve let her know how I intend to proceed if I hear from any colleagues that she’s continued this line of spam pitching — reporting CAN-SPAM Act violations, reporting her to her host(s), and reporting her directly to the clients she’s trying to promote through these ill-gotten harvested lists.
So please, if you continue to receive emails from her as of next week (I want to make sure she has time to see the email and course-correct), either post here to let me know or email me if you have my address (don’t want to post it here for further harvesting).
There are still some really sketchy things going on — like three different domain names at play, with the one being used to spam tied to SquareSpace and the others with GoDaddy. I suppose there’s always a chance someone is pretending to be her, but given the style of the pitches themselves, I don’t get that impression.
If I hear from any of you that the emails continue from next week on, I’ll post instructions here on how you can report them. It’s not in her interest to have her email address or domains on spam blocklists, so hopefully she’ll stop. But it’s my understanding she’s been asked to before and has sent even more. I’ll reach out to some PR colleagues next week as well to see if anyone knows her and can approach her directly. But given the behavior I’m seeing, she might have a PR educational background, but built a business around the usual internet marketing spam behavior no one wants or needs. Super disappointing to see anyone who might have had potential go down such an irresponsible path.
FYI, I heard back from her quickly.
She said she sent me unsubscribe links. I didn’t get them, as I’d already blocked her domains server-level. So I responded telling her to manually remove the two addresses of mine I know she’s hit in the past. I also reminded her removing me is not adequate.
I suggest she focus on building a better-targeted list and making sure she includes unsubscribe links in all future emails. With a valid business reasons, getting our addresses from public sites isn’t enough to report violations, but the lack of easily-accessible unsubscribe links is.
So, if you get further emails from her next week on, keep an eye on that. I’m hoping she’ll take the messages to heart given they’re coming not just from someone she’s pitched but from a colleague well-connected in the PR industry. But time will tell. If she’s actually willing to course-correct, I’m happy with that resolution. But do let me know if you continue to have problems, in which case I’ll make sure you get reporting instructions.
Ugh. Pardon the typos. Was trying to deal with this quickly on a day off.
Late to the party and haven’t read these all the way through but I just wanted to chime in that I NEVER get an opt-out from a PR firm.
I once tweeted, Dear #PR, if you are not going to take the time to see what my blog is all about, an opt-out on your email marketing is appreciated.” I shared it in my “5 Lazy Marketing Tactics That Drive People Nuts.” 😀
I’ve had similar issues, Cathy. PR people I know don’t have opt-outs, either. Marketing folks don’t, you name it.
My tactic is to write to them on their website and mention that if they’re not willing to add an unsubscribe link, then I’m perfectly willing to write to their clients and let them know that their names are being used to spam. Another effective tactic. 😉
Very effective, Lori. 😉
I hear you Cathy. I rarely see it either in PR pitches.
But, to be fair, I also get an obscene number of pitches / queries from freelancers (writers, designers, etc.), and I don’t recall ever seeing an opt-out there either. And I suspect it’s for the same reason — a combination of honest ignorance and/or mistakenly thinking the rules only apply to traditional email lists.
If nothing else, this whole thing should serve as a good reminder for freelance writers — if you’re sending unsolicited emails to cold pitch / query prospects, you’re also required to have an opt-out option, even if you’re not using an email marketing service. Those rules don’t only apply to larger email blasts.
Cold pitching freelance services counts as commercial emails, so you have to include something like “Reply with X in the subject line if you don’t want to receive future messages.”
Definitely not an exclusive club. 🙂