Since very few people are in today or the rest of the year, let’s have a little fun.
I was talking offline with a writer friend, and we were going about the business of reading into people’s motives. Then it dawned on me —
I’ve become a cynic. And a skeptic, but that’s probably another post.
The conversation this time was about a note she’d received from a stranger who is a writer. This stranger wanted to meet for coffee.
Maybe it’s because we freelance writers spend too much time sniffing out bull$hit, but she and I got the same impression about this request based on the word choice.
The word “desperate” when coupled with needing to connect with another writer seemed a bit odd, but so did the mention in earlier in the same sentence that this writer’s workload was “light” at the moment.
The conclusion I read into it:
My friend is about to be asked for the dreaded “overflow” work.
My personal peeves feelings about “overflow” aside, this was a writer about to ask for a favor. In my opinion, if you’re asking for favors from another writer, you need to have known them a while, taken the time to develop a relationship, and actually care about them beyond what they can do for you.
But Lori! What if she really wants to get to know this writer? What if her motives are pure?
Then how about she, a writer, chooses words that suggest she’d like to get to know this writer instead of words that, to me, reveal a hidden motive?
I guess I’m more cynical than I thought.
Still, we freelance writers have plenty of lessons behind us that have given us our Cynicism Certification. Here are a few that have colored my career:
I never received your first two invoices.
Right after I send the third invoice with the litigation/collection notice, I usually receive this response. What I want to say is “Oh really? But you received this one, which was sent to the exact same email….”
How many times have you had to hear this?
There are numerous grammatical errors.
Common statement by a non-paying client right after the above-mentioned third invoice. Oh really? And you waited three months to mention the “grammatical” errors, which amounted to a missing period and my use of “said” instead of “replied”? (Yes, a client actually did argue that those two instances were “grammatical” and “numerous.”)
I made $100,000 working at content mills!
No you didn’t. It is physically impossible to write the number of $20 articles (and I’m giving you the higher end of what these places usually pay) in one year and still eat, sleep, use the bathroom, or otherwise stop working. You would, literally, have to crank out 416.7 articles per month to make the $8334 each month required to get to that magical $100K. And if you’re working for a content mill instead of for yourself, I’m going to say it — you don’t have 416.7 new ideas per month in you. Go ahead, argue it. Then share your 1099 form as proof. Yep, thought so.
How do I start freelance writing?
By going beyond this basic, all-encompassing, impossible-to-answer question and doing some actual digging on your own (initially, at least). I get it — new writers are looking for the secret sauce that guarantees them the money and the freedom to freelance. But here’s the secret — you have to work your ass off. Period. You have to learn how to run a business, how to attract clients, where to locate them, and how to please them. Any new writer has the potential to succeed because yes, the steps aren’t hard to understand. They’re just hard to do — and maintain. That second part is the killer.
But every time I see that question, I die a little inside. And I scream a lot outside. Really. The squirrels just hate me. So stop asking the damned question.
I need writers, and I found your contact info….
Yes, this makes me a damned cynic. Why? Because I’ve received emails like this as recently as last week. Someone was asking me to do some writing for his client. He needed a writer who could place these articles on “high-profile” sites. When I responded to his initial note and asked for more info, his response was to repeat back to me the exact same note. Yea, no. I’m not playing. If you can’t tell me specifics, you don’t really have a project. This wasn’t a case of a potential client not knowing what they want. It was the case of someone trying to get me to work for him and, if my suspicions were correct, get paid only after the articles were placed.
I’m paying a percentage of the total minus the square root of pi.
Wonky math always makes me cynical. I had one editor from what I thought was a respected magazine tell me he a) works without contracts and prefers mutual trust; b) rounds down to the nearest dollar (why not pay per word and make it easier on everyone?), and; c) pays only for what he uses, again, rounded down. Another job poster recently suggested he’d pay a whopping $30 per 625 words (seriously used that number). The manuscript was massive, and I remember the grand total coming to roughly $800.
If they can’t tell you straight what the price is, they’re running a scam. Don’t believe me? Then try working with them. Good luck.
Writers, what has made you cynical?
What has been a repeat offender on your list of eye-rolling behavior from either clients or other writers?
One response to “What Turns Freelance Writers into Cynics?”
All of the above.
The one that really gets me has happened to me three times this year. On paper, a potential client seems like a promising fit. They love you background and experience. None of those big red flags waving, either, so they seem legit. They schedule a phone call. You spend 15-30 minutes discussing the scope of work and start getting interested and then they drop the bomb.
In one case, it was pathetically low rates (and the fact that you had to know “code” to use their CMS, which was a requirement). That editor should have known that someone with my experience wasn’t going to work for $25 per “article” (They weren’t articles, just blog posts, but that’s still way too low.) And when I said I wasn’t comfortable using their CMS and don’t know helm coding, she expressed disbelief, and asked how I submitted my articles to other clients. Um…by email, honey. And before that, by giving the editor a floppy disk, or faxing it it. And back when I first started, I even sent a couple articles in by regular mail.
Another potential client was offering $800 per article, but wanted investigative reporting and fact checking included for multi-source articles of about 2,000 words. I was desperate for a new client at the time, but was secretly glad that she replied to my first mandated weekly check in with “Oh, I didn’t know you accepted it. Give me a call.” But she didn’t answer the phone and never replied to my call or final email. Phew.
And there was another place that wanted business profiles. Simple, direct, somewhat interested. They paid 40-cents/word, but they sounded fairly simple. Since I needed a new client, I was interested. He sent me all the paperwork, which I filled out and turned in. He said he’d be in touch as soon as he had an assignment for me. That was in March. Ghosted again.
Actually, two other potential clients said they’d be in touch, too, and I never heard back from them, either. I think I dodged a bullet or two, too, since one had a writing “test” she wanted me to do. The other said he’d be in touch when he had “the right assignment” for me. My inner cynic thinks perhaps they realized I wasn’t some green newbie they could exploit and decided I’d be more trouble than I was worth, LOL.