What I’m listening to: The Waiting by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
The waiting is the hardest part…
It’s rare when the song I’m listening to coincides with the theme of my post. Today, it’s intentional.
I saw a disturbing series of exchanges recently that made me realize just how stuck we freelance writers can get sometimes. A writer was trying to figure out how to dump a client, only the “trying” part was missing. It might have been going on in the writer’s head, but not in any actionable way. The conversation she had with herself (and others) went something like this:
- I can’t stand the way this client treats me. I need to end it.
- But he gives me a lot of work, so maybe I need to stop answering his emails so often.
- But he acts like a tyrant, so I’m dumping him.
- But I really do get a lot of work from him.
- But when I missed that minor typo, he pitched a fit.
- Maybe if I say I’m only working for him once a week, he’ll stop.
- But he shouts at me and expects me to work on weekends.
- Maybe I’ll give him one more chance…
Oh my gawd, STOP. And by that I mean stop working for such an asshole. And stop allowing him to be that asshole.
Ah, but our codependence doesn’t slow up at any Stop sign, does it? (And we, writing friends, do tend toward the codependent at times.)
That’s what we have here — we have a writer who, for whatever reason (which doesn’t really matter anyway), didn’t respond to the first instance of bad behavior or unrealistic expectations. Now, she’s trapped in an unholy cycle of Hell, thinking her sole purpose is to please someone who isn’t worthy of her time and effort.
Only she isn’t trapped. That’s the beautiful thing about being a freelance writer — you’re free to walk away whenever it no longer works for you.
Yet she’s waiting. Waiting for the courage to set boundaries, waiting for a better job to come along, waiting for the client to behave 180 degrees differently than he has all this time…
It’s waiting for the world to change instead of changing your approach and response to make the world work for you.
Rookie mistake.
And yet it’s one many of us still make, isn’t it?
“I gave him a free revision, but I’m five additional revisions in and don’t know how to tell him.”
“He assigned an article on topic X, but now he’s changed it to topic Y…”
“I really don’t like the way this client operates, but until something better comes along, I’ll tough it out.”
Yes, we do.
What’s missing?
Boundaries.
Also missing —
Self-respect.
What’s there in spades?
Fear.
Even if you’re eleven revisions into a 400-word press release (been there once myself), you can end the madness. I prefer a direct approach:
“Happy to do one more revision, but know that I’ll have charge extra for it as we’ve long surpassed my usual two-revision limit.”
“Because we work well together, I can give you one more free revision, but I really must charge for any further revisions on this.”
“Sure. That will make 12 revisions, however. Where should I send the invoice for the additional time on this?”
“You seem unsure of the message you want to send. Are you sure you want to continue or maybe pick this up at another time when the idea is more solidified? If so, my hourly rate is…”
“You know, I think we’re overthinking this.”
(That last one, coupled with my “one more revision before the bill increases” language halted my own personal madness years ago.)
As for the writer above who has probably one of the worst personalities to deal with, there’s only one clear solution:
Dump him and don’t look back.
When you have to break ties with a client, you do not:
- Owe explanations
- Deserve angry outbursts or accusations of being “unprofessional” (oh, the irony, huh?)
- Forfeit your right to whatever is owed you
- Have to defend yourself, particularly since this is someone who is as sensitive as a blow torch to sunburned skin
- Have to talk to that client ever again — no matter what
- Have to wait for other work to arrive — just open up that time for marketing and learning how the hell to avoid that situation again
Writers, when was the last time you let a project — or a client’s bad behavior — continue? For how long, and why?
Tell us about a time when you successfully broke the cycle. How did you do it?
2 responses to “The Freelance Writer’s Waiting Game (and how to stop it right now)”
There’s not enough pay in the world to put up with an abusive client.
It’s harder to let go of a client that is just demanding, at least for me. Those steady paychecks are hard to turn down, but there comes a point at which the payout isn’t worth the time you’re investing.
Well, there was that time I was working on that $2/word article that wound up going nowhere. While that “editor” acted unprofessionally, I maintained my calm, did as asked, and let her self implode knowing I would never, ever work for her again—or for a publication that would allow or enable such unacceptable behavior.
But the FUN one happened after a marketing newsletter I wrote for fairly regularly was bought out. The new editor tried assigning me a 600-word article that “required” 12 sources and only paid 10-cents per word. (Their old rate had been 50-cents/wd – it was a long time ago.) I pointed out simply naming the sources, their titles, their companies and the cities they’re located it would take up most of those 600 words and even if there were only two sources it still wasn’t worth the whopping $60 she was offering. She claimed the rate was low because the work was easy. I said, “Oh! Then you should have fun doing it yourself!” and hung up.