“You have touched on some fastidious factors…”
Don’t you just love spam comments? I was weeding through 1,900 or so of them the other day and I realized the correlation between spam comments and writers missing the mark with their queries — neither the spammer nor the writer did their homework.
Sure, we don’t expect spammers to care, but if you’re a freelance writer trying to grow your freelance writing business, you damn well better care.
This comes to mind because this week I received two notes, neither of which were written very well, and both requesting something of me.
One was from a PR person who showed a lack of effort when the note was addressed “Hi” instead of to me. No excuses, either — my name precedes the email address that was used. (If it hadn’t, I would have forgiven her for it.)
The other is below. I won’t reveal the writer because I don’t want to cause embarrassment. Let’s just say there’s no way he did any homework, which makes me doubt his promise to follow the guidelines he’s already deviated from.
Hi There,
I am (name of writer), I have X+ years of online writing experience
and guest blogging. I would love to guest post on your blog.
Let me know of you can accept my guest post on Human
Resource, Career, Logistics, Contract Staffing, Recruitment, job etc &
other related blog post(http://www.wordsonpageblog.com/).
I will be glad to receive any special guidelines I need to follow to write post
for you. If so please mail me. Also, if you have any special topic in
your mind, you can share it with me. So that I shall write for your blog.
I will make sure my post will,
a. Abide all your guidelines and
instructions.
b. My post will be of extremely high
quality
c. There will be no grammar or spelling
mistakes
d. I check all my post with copyscape
premium for originality check.
Here are my samples (links to samples).
Waiting to hear from you.
As much as I wanted to answer this guy, I just couldn’t think of a way that wouldn’t sound smarmy and bitchy. Instead, his note has become a learning experience for us all.
What’s wrong with this note? For starters, my name isn’t There. So, “Hi There” isn’t really addressing me. If he meant “Hi there” then already he’s made a spelling mistake, so per his own assurances, he’s failed his own test.
I was okay with the first line of the note, though it felt a little “me me me”. Still, his point is clear.
The second paragraph is where he loses me entirely. Let’s just skip over the misspelling of “of” instead of “if” (breaking once again his promise to provide mistake-free copy) and get right to the point. Have I ever posted anything human resource-related? Logistics? Contract staffing? Uh, no. So again, this poor chap has broken his first promised point — to abide by all my guidelines, which, if he’d read them, would have told him not to bother since I state exactly what we print here.
So two points lost to him. And he set himself up for it. And maybe you can tell me what “…I need to follow to write post for you” actually means.
So that he shall write for my blog. As he says.
I think the most troubling part for me wasn’t the Copyscape mention (though that sends up a huge red flag — if it’s original content and he’s a professional writer, why the hell offer this?). No, it was the almost-not-English phrasing and the “Waiting to hear from you” sign off, but most importantly, it was the complete miss on the topics he thinks I cover.
Here’s how we writers can avoid this kind of embarrassment:
Take five minutes to research. Maybe less, but definitely just a few minutes of this guy’s time would have told him A) What my name is, B) I don’t handle these topics and C) I don’t accept posts from corporations (this one felt like a “get ten placements and get paid” kind of deal).
Personalize. If you don’t know the name, find it. If you can’t find it, call and ask for it. If you can’t find it either way, try “Dear Sir/Madam” or “To Whom It May Concern.” Even though they’re not quite formal enough, they’re much better than “Hi There.”
Proofread. Five minutes tops — that’s how long it would have taken this guy to proofread his work (assuming he’s an English speaker, which I doubt). Go beyond spell check and read your piece aloud. Don’t send it unless you make sure it’s not hiding some errors.
Sell it to your client. He jumped right into “I have this experience” and then “I want to write for you.” Where was the idea? Buried in the second paragraph. Instead, try presenting your idea, not your blanket topic areas. How the hell do you stand out if you don’t try? Well, you could write a query this poorly and get on the blog indirectly, but I don’t think that’s your intention.
Forget the blanket query. Something tells me this note has been sent by this guy a few hundred times. Nothing about it felt personal or even on point. That kind of laziness shows, and it stains your reputation. Instead, create a new query for each person you contact (you are a writer, after all). You’ll see a difference in your results.
Writers, what lessons did you learn along the way?
Post Views: 28
4 responses to “Doing Your Homework”
This is so typical–and yet it floors me every time!
I often get press releases and responses to queries I've posted that are utterly unrelated to what I do or asked for. It makes me mad, and I often want to respond like you considered responding–angrily and accusing them of wasting my time. But, like you, I don't.
The thing that irritates me the most? I'll post a query on Help a Reporter Out being very specific about the topic I want. Let's say it's how to hire a social media expert. And I'll get responses like this:
"I'm a social media expert, and I've been doing it for 10 years, and I'm just freakin' awesome, and I was once on TV, and some people might recognize me, and you should interview me on that basis alone."
What does that have to do with the topic I'm writing on? The best answers are those where someone says, "I've hired 10 social media experts, and here are three tips I've learned from the process…"
Like you said: It's all about tying your query into the request/publication/client's work, etc.
Which brings me to the point I've learned as a writer: If you show you've done some research and thought about the client's business and needs, you're already ahead of your competition. Top that off by offering a few ways you can add value, and you're golden.
Amen, Gabriella!
A PR person got in touch recently with this answer to my ProfNet query: "Did you get what you need? I have XX sources in YY topic if you're interested."
Why this worked — she didn't try to oversell it. Plus, she had the right sources for the right topic. I didn't use her experts, but I did respond. But I've had PR people who twist that topic like a contortionist to try making their people fit. That does a huge disservice not just to me, but to the people they represent.
Yes, yes, yes and YES. I get loads of the usual 'hey, let me help you with X/Y/Z' and I got so annoyed last week that I actually replied to one, to point out a couple of things.
1. 'Dear website owner'. My web address CONTAINS MY NAME. The email address they sent the email to CONTAINS MY NAME. How difficult is it to address me personally?
2. No idea whatsoever what my website is about, nothing at all to indicate they've even looked at it.
I suggested that they at least TRY not to look like spammers. Of course, I didn't get a response, but it made me feel better sending it :o)
Way to go, Emily. 🙂 That's exactly how I want to respond — like Beyonce said: "Say my name…"
It gets to a point where you just want to reach out and head-slap them. Do your damn homework, people! But I doubt anyone legitimate is on the other side.
At least you got to vent your frustration. 🙂