Writers Worth: Building Trust

I’ve been watching a number of conversations on LinkedIn forums and elsewhere, and it’s interesting how many people have unwarranted trust issues. Not that they don’t trust their clients — for the most part, they do (and they don’t when the client hasn’t earned it).

I’m talking about writers trusting themselves.

Too many freelance writers at the beginning or even midway into their writing careers simply don’t trust themselves to do the job. These aren’t slackers, either. These are talented, skilled writing professionals who just can’t get out of their own heads.

Sadly, there are plenty of snake-oil salespeople out there willing to capitalize on that self-doubt. Too many unworthy clients not paying enough, too many job posters posing as real clients, too many courses promising too much and delivering too little to keep people coming back to learn more — it’s feeding off their fears, and I detest it.

But that’s not the real issue. There will always be people willing to sell you something you can get for free, or string you along until you’re a thousand dollars in and realize you’re getting nowhere. No, the real issue isn’t that these kinds of people exist — it’s that you, writer, don’t trust your ability to do the job you were born to do.

It’s a shame, really. The fear of failing is so palpable that it stops many a good writer from trying. You’re trying. So you’re already moving in the right direction. But where’s the thought that “Yes, I can do this” or “If she can do it, I can do it”? It doesn’t take a mentor or a paid coach or even a paid instructor to tell you that —

It takes you to convince yourself that you can do this.

So here are a few ways I worked beyond my own fears (for I had the same ones, dear writer) to a place where I know my worth:

Fake it. I painted on a confident smile and attitude despite my insides feeling like quicksand.I didn’t fake experience — that would be wrong — but I faked the confidence that most veteran writers project without thinking. I told myself it was just until I hung up the phone with the client or got that email/letter written. I wouldn’t let my shakiness into my voice or that putty in my knees to cause me to collapse until I’d completed the task in front of me. Then I could succumb to the fear. But oddly, you won’t. Try it.

Study on your own. When I started my freelance writing career, there were no online courses or coaches (there wasn’t really an “online” anything). There were books. There were magazines. So I studied what was available. If I wanted to write for XYZ Magazine, I went to the library and read three or four copies. You have it much easier — if you want to know how to create a white paper, you just type it into a search engine and start reading. Arm yourself with more knowledge about your craft. How could you not trust yourself if you’re sure of the answers?

Get feedback from colleagues. I didn’t have much of a support system pre-Internet, but once I got online, it wasn’t long before I found myself in the company of working writers. So I sat back and listened to what they were saying. I asked a question only if I didn’t see it asked already (meaning, I did some homework). I asked if there were any tips for whatever project I was about to do. Then I applied what sounded right. I was mimicking the best writers I knew — that’s a big confidence booster. You can do the same — if you see a freelancer who’s doing what you’d like to do, establish a relationship, then ask for some advice.

Practice. I practiced both my writing and my elevator speech (to answer the “Tell me about yourself and what you do”question). I practiced my grammar and sentence structure. I practiced approaching clients for work. If you’re unsure, try it before you do it. You learn to trust your own voice. Plus it’s a reminder of just what you have to offer.

Enlist more than one “what the hell” moments. If I hadn’t done this on numerous occasions, I’d never be here right now earning money. In a way, I allowed myself to think of my projects as practice. I thought “What the hell– if it doesn’t work, I start again.” What this does is prepare you psychologically to move forward. Fear cements you in inertia — allowing yourself to let go of the fear creates this sense of a gimme, a mulligan, or a do-over for whatever you’re about to try. It allows you to try and fail. But you won’t fail. You’ll learn something.

Refer to my kudos file. I still have one — a little folder on my email program that contains all the emailed praise I’ve received from happy clients. When you’re facing down a total bastard of a human being (some “clients” are clients in name only), that file will restore your confidence. In fact, the thanks and praise of others can really help underscore your value. Don’t forget to remind yourself whenever you’re feeling like crap.

Writers, how did you learn to trust yourself?