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We’ve spent a lot of time here talking about how to market effectively, how to use networking and establishing friendships to grow your business. We’ve even touched on how not to market, or at least what missteps could have you losing interest in your own marketing. But the idiotic things? We’ve talked about them, but we’ve not really talked about them.
What are some of the supremely stupid marketing things you can do (or cannot do) that can turn off a client like a faucet?
Tell them they’re doing it wrong. They may be doing just that and you may be 100-percent correct, but who wants to hear that they’re mucking it up? Instead, tell them how what they’re doing currently can be enhanced, or how you’ve helped similar clients increase their results.
Talk about you, you, you all the time. Clients want to work with people who understand them and their needs. If your song is solely about you and your fabulous skills, congratulations. You’ve just proven nothing to them other than you have a large ego. Instead, tell them how your skills can benefit them. Instead of tweeting “I’m the best marketer on the planet!” (which incidentally proves you’re not), tweet “I just helped my clients increase their sales by 15 percent!” Even though you’re still prattling on a bit about yourself, you’re focusing more on the clients’ results.
Show them you don’t know them. If you’ve ever received an offer for Viagra or laser hair removal and you’re not the gender it’s intended for, you know how quickly those offers turn you off. The same goes for offers you send to your clients that don’t speak to anything they do. If you’re sending out brochures detailing your marketing savvy and you’re sending it to people who have no need for marketing, you’ve proven two points: A) you’re not that savvy, and B) you don’t know them at all. Instead, make sure every person who receives your communication has a need for it. Saves you both aggravation.
Shout at them. Seriously, remove the exclamation points. You’re not Crazy Dave’s Auto Emporium – you’re a professional who’s trying to develop a professional image. If you go overboard with capitalization, bold letters, wacky color changes, or exclamation points, you’re going to look like you’ve taken the advice of a kindergartner on how to put together an appealing marketing piece. Instead, get to the point and keep the graphics tasteful and relevant.
Take the word “no” badly. Not everyone will trip over themselves to work with you, even if you approach them correctly. If you start getting defensive, upset, or pushy, you’ve just guaranteed this client won’t ever buy from you. Here’s how you respond to “no”: “Thank you.”
Drop your price instantly. It’s bad marketing, for sure, if you start out by saying something like “I charge $100 an hour, but that’s negotiable.” It says “I don’t take myself seriously enough to stick to my own price. Nor should you.” Say your price like you mean it, and don’t offer discounts. Instead, offer payment options that help them afford you.
What screams “bad marketing” to you?
13 responses to “Superbly Idiotic Marketing”
The first one especially gets my goat. I've had strangers contact me, telling me "I don't know how to market" or "present myself" and I should pay them to revamp my sites. First of all, that's insulting. Second, when I look at THEIR sites, the sites are horrible and have nothing to do with what I do. Most of the time, the presentation is pitiful, the content sucks, and there are errors in spelling and grammar. Also, if you mis-spell things in the pitch, why would I think you're the caliber I'd hire?
If someone comes to me and says, "hey, have you ever thought about adding X to your site? I've done it before with great results", I'll at least listen. If someone says, "your site sucks and you need to hire me to fix it" — I'll laugh in his face and move on.
When I was at the indie book fair, some chick was going around to all the tables trying to sell herself as a publicist. She asked everyone the same questions and then started criticizing their marketing plans, telling them they needed to hire her, because she could get them attention.
Except my table. She told me the presentation was striking (it was), asked me questions, and immediately glazed over and walked away in the middle of a sentence when I talked about my marketing plan. When I asked her why she walked away, she said, "I can't do anything for you. You're already doing it all." That's not good marketing, either. Even if I wasn't a client at this moment, if she'd at least pretended to be engaged, I might have been interested in her work in the future.
On second thought, probably not. ;0
Wow. She made some pretty big mistakes! That first one hits my hot button, too. Seems the "publicist" didn't understand how to approach people and keep them as contacts. I had something similar happen years ago. Some saleswoman showed up at my door trying to sell me what amounted to hermetically sealed steaks. I whipped out a calculator and figured it was $14.99 a pound (high even now, but this was 1990), and she automatically turned off the charm and started packing up her presentation kit, slamming stuff into the sack and not speaking to us. Several mistakes: A) she didn't know her market very well, because we were sitting in the middle of farm country, surrounded by beef; B) she didn't count on any referral business or future business, for she wasn't going to be long for the vacuum-sealed meat business and we might run into her selling something somewhere else; and C) her rudeness guaranteed we wouldn't reconsider later.
Slamming your work or site is like those spammers who leave comments that your site stinks or you have a lousy Google ranking so hire them. Seriously? You think that's great strategy?
Another one that gets me comes from a very famous copywriter. I have purchased quite a few books and eBooks of his and find them of value. I know he has a huge subscription base, but I really hate getting hit with a pitch where I already purchased the product – or – I get hit with the same pitch over and over.
You would think someone could figure out how to update a mailing list where you are not sending a sales pitch to someone who already bought your frickin' product.
Thanks, I feel better now. 🙂
Group emails to potential clients scream bad marketing to me. Just because it's easy to send a group email to potential clients doesn't mean you should and the only time I want to receive a group marketing letter from a service provider is if I subscribed to the service.
Damaria,
Good point. I don't mind a newsletter that lets me know what new products and services are coming; I mind a group marketing blast.
The packaging, I guess. I like a more subtle approach.
Your vacuum-packed beef reminded me o when a salesman for a similar door-to-door frozen food company rang my bell. His b.o. was so bad the stench lingered long after I sent him packing. Years later a different salesman from the same company showed up. I let him leave a catalog (talk about expensive!), but told him everytime I see their truck it triggers flashbacks to the previous guy's putrid and unappetizing "aroma."
Many years ago I sent a complaint letter to the publisher of a writing newsletter/market list I subscribed to. I noted some sort of recurring problems and said I wouldn't renew if they didn't clean things up. I was my usual diplomatic self, incorporating appropriate humor. Never once did I suggest I could do better, and I wasn't asking for a chance to write for them. The editor replied by calling, saying she and the publisher enjoyed my letter and agreed with the points I'd raised. She said the quality of my writing stood out and then challenged me to help them improve the newsletter. I wound up freelancing there for several years. I think the key differences were 1) I wasn't pitching myself as the answer to their problem, and 2) they were objective and open-minded enough to admit their publication had room for improvement.
What a great story, Paula (you getting the gig – not the b.o. story) 🙂
Whew! I had to check that list and make sure I wasn't doing any of those things! Looks like I'm in the clear… good advice to keep on the burner!
One thing that especially bugs me is when I sign up for a mailing list, newsletter, or whatever, and all I get is sales messages. I'm a willing audience when I get sales messages after I get what I signed up for, but if all that business wants to do is sell me something, I'd rather it not be disguised as something useful to me.
It's bad timing to mention this with your newsletter sign-up, Lori, but I registered for yours without hesitation and I'm eager to receive it! 🙂
Lost my own darned reply – sorry!
Cathy, I hear you. His list is probably huge, so I can see why you get multiple offers. But I agree – if the order's been filled, remove you from that list.
Damaria, super one! Hate that. Nothing says "I couldn't be bothered" more than a group email. Newsletters, as Devon points out, are the exception, and I don't think we expect them to be that personalized – except in the information we receive.
Paula, ew! Yet people think image doesn't matter…
Amelia, I never doubted you weren't committing these sins. 🙂
Ashley, I am my own irony. LOL True enough. I had such a rotten experience when I signed up for a friend's newsletter. Within a week, she's bombarded me with so much crap I unsubscribed. And she calls herself a marketer.
Some good points in this article– the final point is perfect! Payment options are the perfect answer when someone tries to beat your price down. As for that "marketing" friend of yours, I hope you took her by the hand and showed her the error of her ways:(
Denise, I haven't yet. She's going to point to her vast knowledge and audience. That may be so, but how many more could she capture if she just stopped shouting so much?
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