What I’m reading: Night Crawler by Diane Parkin
What’s on the iPod: One by U2
Yesterday was a day of coordinating interviews and contracts. The only writing I did consisted of a complaint letter. Here’s what happened:
Daughter was called for an interview with a company seven states away. She asked for a phone interview. Nothing doing – must be done on site. She then asked for reassurance that the job was a marketing position and not sales (she was burned the day before by someone offering “marketing” but delivering “sales”). The hiring manager assured her there were “no sales” involved. She booked a flight, hotel, and car (she’s a fresh graduate with no cash).
She interviewed with the company president, who started telling her about the “sales” position. She corrected him, showing him the advertisement, which clearly stated “Marketing manager.” He said something akin to “Everyone starts out in sales, then they are moved within three months to management.” He spoke of commission and a salary that wasn’t exactly guaranteed (she may or may not make $12 an hour). Then he told her to shadow an employee for an hour.
I would have walked out right there and told him where to put his shadowing. However, she’s new to job searching, so she decided to stick it out. That’s when things went from bad to downright awful. It would seem the employee was more interested in touching her shoulder, repeating how pretty she was, and calling her freckles “sexy.” She got in her car and cried back to the hotel.
Let’s just say that Tiger Mom getting all the press has nothing on my reaction. The company has now been sent a strongly worded letter demanding restitution for the travel expenses and cluing them in on the sexual harassment they’re allowing to happen on their watch. The BBB in that area and the Attorney General’s office have been CC’d. No one messes with my kid and gets away with it.
If that were your kid, your wife, your sister, or your mom, wouldn’t you do the same? That’s exactly the energy and mindset you need in order to protect your own business. We’re really good at protecting our loved ones, but we don’t count ourselves among those loved ones, do we?
What situations would make you push back or say no? Here are mine:
The fee changes. If the client promises a decent rate that changes at contract time, I’m gone. You should be, too. That’s dishonest and it’s the sign of a person not willing to value you.
The job changes. Much like in my daughter’s situation, if the job turns out to be not as advertised, I walk away. Be it intentional or not (and you’ll be able to tell), it’s a terrible way to start a business relationship.
It gets personal. Guilt trips, name calling, verbal warfare, or any interaction designed to railroad me into acquiescing to whatever point they’re trying to make is a deal breaker.
It feels wrong. Sometimes everything lines up, but something just feels off. I have learned to trust my instincts. I’ve never been disappointed.
The demands are unreasonable. I will do my utmost for my clients. I will not, however, kill myself to please – i.e. 24/7 access via three modes of communication, instant turnaround on projects, any type of real-time monitoring of my work day, or endless revisions without additional compensation. I know my limits and I assert them.
When do you put your foot down? Have you ever needed to, but didn’t? How did you learn from that?
21 responses to “Putting Your Professional Foot Down”
Bravo Lori! These scammy job ads for "marketing firms" are all over the place. We have at least a few here locally that I came across. Back after college I even interviewed with one saying they offered work more in event planning (in line with my PR degree). Wow, what a shock — that one was in Malvern I believe.
With crap like this I tend to have the best luck contacting corporate if there's a larger company involved, and then just like you going to the BBB and State Attorney General's office. Actually the latter has been the most responsive outlet for consumer-ended complaints over the years. I hope it works out for you. I'd also suggest reporting them to the FTC because of the interstate issue involved w/ travel expense restitution and their false advertising. If that still doesn't work, I've never had anything go beyond an official "notice of intent to sue" — amazing how companies want to solve problems when they realize you're serious and not just going to fade away.
As for the freelance examples, right on. I've found myself having to get more assertive with a couple of folks lately. As you say, if it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Instincts have kept me out of a lot of trouble in this freelance game. They're definitely not to be ignored.
Thanks for the head's up on the FTC, Jenn. I'll have her send a copy to them today. She sent out the others – by snail mail – yesterday.
Maybe if we all pretend we're protecting someone else's interests, we'll actually do something about it? 🙂
Make sure she writes up an affadavit of the whole experience and signs and dates it in front of at least two witnesses who are not related. Notarized would be good, too. Her statement is MORE important than your letter — in fact, it should have been HER letter, with an additional statement by you that went out, if she is of legal age. Otherwise, the company will say you weren't there and you don't know what happened. It is a secondary account, and the only way a complaint like this will stand up is if it's a primary account. Have her do it TODAY — every day that she waits weakens the case and gives them more fuel. If she is under legal age, absolutely the letter needed to come from you. But, if she is over legal age, a letter from you instead of from her opens a huge legal loophole, and if they have good lawyers, they'll use it.
Also, if there's a women's organization near you and/or near where it happened, send them copies of everything, so they can track the organization.
Regarding the post — I have in my contracts that I am not available by phone. 99% of phone conversations with clients are a waste of time. Email me if you want contact. Do not break into my writing time, or the price goes up.
Sorry – should have clarified. She wrote it. I edited it. I gave it the teeth she was afraid to give it. 🙂
I don't mind phone calls, but I won't agree to open-ended, must-be-there-instantly-when-I-need-you requirements. If you want that, hire an employee. Though I suppose these same types think what they can't get away with asking of a regular employee they can get away with asking of a freelancer. Right.
That's terrible, Lori. What a horrible introduction to the post-college job market. Good thing she's got a ballsy momma like you! ;o) Next time (hopefully there won't be a next time), tell her to slug the guy.
I told her knee to the groin followed by a 911 call. 🙂
She was a bit passive in her letter, which shows her inexperience. I beefed it up for her. Ridiculous behavior by ANY employee, let alone one she's supposed to be shadowing and who will report back to the boss!
You have great advice on your daughter's situation. I applaud you both for going after them. Hindsight, of course, is a wonderful thing, but the 1st red flag to me was when they refused a phone interview at that early stage of the game. No reputable company would refuse a viable candidate a phone interview first, followed by a discussion that the position meant moving to that location and as the person got through the process, the probability of face-to-face 2nd (or final) interviews.
I don't mind phone calls either, but I prefer them scheduled so I have what I need and am not in the middle of something else.
The only recent push-back I had was one where an existing client wanted me writing about products that I told them I was not qualified to write about. There's specific regulations involved, it's not my niche, so I won't go there. I provided them with names of copywriters in that niche.
Yes, I would've done the same for my child. It's our responsibility to teach our daughters what we know.
Re, the job: I used to be a consultant in a sector that was being sent overseas by the boatload. I was inundated daily with phone calls and e-mails requesting "consulting services" – that turned out to be sales. The overseas vendor had no infrastructure, no training, no personnel – but they wanted a sales person here in the US, not consulting. (Any questions why I left?) At least I didn't have to travel to find out there was a bait and switch in operation.
Total nightmare situation. What a bummer. I hope your daughter finds better opportunities soon!
Back in the 80s, when I was a young temp, I worked for a corp where the male execs would get drunk at lunch, then come back and "handle" the women who worked there.
I belted the guy who tried that with me and walked out. When I went to the company's HR director, it was shrugged off. When I complained to the temp agency, they didn't want to lose the company as a client and wouldn't take action.
I quit that temp agency and signed up with one that actually stood up for its workers.
Needless to say, neither the corp nor the temp agency exist any more . . .
I hope your daughter is okay and knows that it's not her fault in any way. Some people are just plain scumbags.
In all honesty, I don't know that I would've even thought to do what you guys did. In my anger, I probably would've high-tailed it over there to see them, in person, to give them a piece of my mind. Of course, that's not the right thing to do, but we tend to do anything to protect our children.
Cathy, thanks for the head's up on the red flag. I never experienced that one, so it's helpful to know.
Julianne, that's a pretty awful bait-and-switch. It's frustrating, isn't it? You look for what you think is a decent job only to find out they've worded the ad to lure you into a sales job. Just say it's sales. There are plenty of salespeople out there looking for work.
Sarah, I hope so, too. She's running out of funds and may have to come back home.
Devon, that is awful. The temp agency is supposed to protect its workforce. These days they will (if they don't, the liability is through the roof). Too much in the past was overlooked or avoided.
Wendy, she'll be fine once she's employed. 🙂 I think her mother's teaching her not to take someone else's garbage had her come up with the idea. Once she told me about the harassment – and I had to tell her that yes, that was harassment – she decided to write a letter. I'm glad she knew to do at least that much. 🙂
But I tell you, I've had to suppress my desire to verbally accost that company. It's not my battle. It's hers.
Well done, Lori and Lori's daughter!
What a crappy, crappy experience. So sorry to hear about it.
This is plain and simple harassment, and I'm so glad your daughter had the good sense to complain and that you gave her a lesson in how to complain professionally but with a bite.
I suppose your daughter was going to have to learn sometime that there are serious scumbags out there in the business world. But I wish it hadn't been at such great financial cost. Hope she gets reimbursed, but scumbags like that aren't likely to see her point without nudging/legal threats.
But in addition to that lesson, I really like that she also learned how a smart, strong businesswoman should respond to idiocy! You turned a terrible experience into a life-long lesson in toughness.
I don't even know your daughter and I want deck the jerk who was harassing her and force the company to reimburse all of her travel expenses plus the time she wasted going there to interview for what they verified was a marketing job!
I can't say it's human nature, but a lot of us tend to put others' needs, hurts and wants over our own, so we'll fight to the death to help someone else before we'll do the same for ourselves.
Don't have anything new to add to this thread (stunning, I know :-), but wanted to add my kudos to you for standing up for your daughter — & for teaching her an essential lesson about work & life.
It's no secret that work (and life) often require us to make compromises large & small — but compromising our dignity & our safety should *never* be on that list. Unfortunately, of course, many of us learn this lesson the hard way.
Hope your letters prompt some real action — who knows how many others have been subjected to the same experience that your daughter was?
Not that this is in any way a revelation, but your daughter's clearly lucky to have you as a mom.
Lori, sorry to hear of your daughter's experience. I have a marketing opportunity ad run by our local newspaper that I've copied. How can I send to you for you to share with your daughter. It could be of interest. My email is seedbee-at-gmail.com Chuck
Chuck, thank you! Email coming.
She's learning the hard way, Gabriella, but she's learning how to handle it. I didn't like the tone of her letter – almost apologetic for getting upset. No way. Get upset. You have the right to be treated decently by ANYONE, especially companies and coworkers.
Paula, had it been me, he'd have been decked. I had one man treat me like that (you do NOT talk about anyone's cleavage at work, especially mine), and I came close to decapitating him. Maybe because I had ten years on him or maybe because I'd learned to assert my boundaries, but he learned a valuable lesson – don't mess with women.
Thanks, Hugh. I'm lucky to have a daughter like her. 🙂 Nothing may come of it beyond the BBB being notified, but someone knows and it will be part of public record.
Not that it even remotely compares to what your daughter went through, but when I was looking for my 2nd job out of college (the first job not having anything to do with my degree), I interviewed at a "Marketing" company that promised the moon and then suggested I come back the following week for an "on-site" day where I and they could see if the job was a good fit for me. The idea of taking a day off my real job to work for free at a job I didn't really know if I wanted wasn't my idea of a good time. So I thanked them politely but told them no thank you. Months later, I heard from another friend who DID fall for their "on-site day" tactic…he ended up being taken several cities away and forced to try to sign people up for credit cards for 8 hours before they'd drive him home again.
Amie, that's AWFUL! Thank God you said no, huh?
I think if I were that friend, I'd have been on the phone shouting for police backup. Holding someone captive to do work they weren't interested in doing? That's akin to kidnapping!
Good for you for sticking up for your daughter! I would have been horrified if I'd been in her shoes. In fact, I did interview at a similar-sounding company when I was a college senior, but I didn't get subjected to sexual harassment or waste money on travel expenses (unless you count subway fare, which I don't).
Thanks, Susan. I think she's learned to assert her rights in these cases. Mind you, I don't know that anything will come of her complaints, but it empowers her to try righting the wrongs that will cross her path. I hope. 🙂