Thanks one and all for the participation and camaraderie that helped make the 3rd Annual Writers Worth Day a success! I’ve heard from a few writers who have said this day and our efforts have stopped them from taking content mill jobs or jobs beneath their value. In my eyes, that means we’ve reached our goal. Going forward, the goal is one more. One more writer, one more person believing in themselves.
The day nearly escaped me. I knew it was coming, but there was a funk hanging over me for some odd reason that kept me stationary. Not sure what that was – perhaps boredom with some of my current work, but I’m not so sure. Then as the day approached, I received devastating news. A person in my past, source of my first kiss and first full-blown “in love” feeling, is dying.
Pressing forward when you just don’t want to is damn tough. So far I’ve cycled through intense sadness, guilt for smiling on a sunny day, fear that he’s in pain, agony over what his father is going through, regrets for not having seen this family or this special man in decades. I’m far away, so visiting isn’t a short drive, but the drive is in my near future. I can’t not see these people. Small towns – we know everyone else and we’re all connected. His sister posted the news on Facebook, and I’ve also been terrified to log on to Facebook for fear I see what I don’t want to see.
I had to work through this. Plus, I had to get Writers Worth Day over with. And that’s how it felt to me – just get through it, get it over with, get on to next week. Sorry – this is a joy on normal days, but not all days are normal, are they?
No matter how we keep it together most days, there are some days where you just can’t. I took Friday off unannounced. I spent money on the daughter. I kept distracted until I could process the news and deal with it.
How do you deal with disturbances, big or small?
15 responses to “Disturbances”
Talk to friends, write, or do something very, very physical.
I'm thinking of you, and here when you need me.
You were the first one I talked to, Devon. Thank you for being there. 🙂
Lori, I'm so sorry to hear this! I'm thinking of you too.
I think sometimes you just have to take time off. Even if it's just a day. I've found that sometimes I've thought I could just power through something, when really I'd be a lot better off being easy on myself and taking a break.
Lori:
I'm so sorry to hear this. Sometimes the great thing about being a writer is we can just pour out the emotions on paper (or onscreen). We do it just for us to ease the pressure of the pain.
Other times, that may be the last thing we want to do. I always find walking in a favorite spot helps me. And when you're ready-talking about it helps-like you did here.
Thoughts & prayers for you both and his family.
Well, the furry little distractions went home on Saturday. When they were here I coped by sticking to a fairly strict schedule. Without that,the dogs would have taken over.
With big disturbances, sometimes you need to distract yourself – especially like the situation you were in Lori, where you can't actually do anything to help at that particular moment. Other times, you just need to stop everything and deal with the issue at hand. Facing things head-on isn't fun, but you tend to get through it faster.
When it's a disturbing distraction, I tend to clean. After two and a half weeks of furry distractions, my house really needs a good cleaning! But not if it means enduring a bad distraction.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Lori.
I know dogs aren't people, but that malaise is how I've felt with my sick dog for several months. For me, the lesson has been that sometimes I just have to give in to my sadness.
As Jennifer said, I've sometimes tried to force myself to work, but if I don't have a deadline staring at me, it won't work. So I've conceded defeat and given myself the rest of the day off.
I think the lesson is to be kind to yourself. If you need time and don't have to work–don't. Take the time to do something that will bring a smile to your face, and then don't regret the smile.
Hang in there. We all know whereof you speak!
I'm so sorry to hear your sad news, Lori. I hope you find some peace and comfort during this tough time.
I find that talking to a dear friend always helps. It may not fix the problem, but feeling less alone can make a huge difference.
Sending you all my best.
First, I'm sorry I missed out on writer's worth day.
But I'm much more sorry to hear about your old friend. I'm sure his family will appreciate you making the effort to see them in their time of need.
As for dealing with distractions, I do much like you did — I just get out and away from it all for a while.
We make plans, and then life happens. I've learned that lesson more times than I'd like…
Praying for your friend and you both!
Lindsey
Oh no, I missed Writer's Worth Day! I can't believe it.
Lori, I'm so sorry for you and your friend. I agree with everyone who has suggested taking a break if you can to just deal. You're in my prayers.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. When I'm trying to process bad news, the very last thing I can do is concentrate enough to write. Exercise helps a little, but most of all, for me, it helps to just "do the next thing." And then the next one. That little mantra always seems to get me through a crisis.
Eileen, that's the weird part. All these ideas for poems came flooding in. I can't put them on paper right now, but they're there burning up the psyche. But client projects were not getting done on Wednesday.
Jen, it's true. the day off made a huge difference. I had to get away from the computer (and Facebook). It helps also that my husband is great. He let me talk through it and listened.
Cathy, I haven't been part of his life in 30 years, but I feel so connected. It's his dad – his dad is the reason.
Gabriella, dogs are just as important. I mourned for weeks when my dog died.
Sorry you missed it too, Jenn! We'll get together soon.
Thank you everyone for the wishes and prayers. Aim them toward him – he needs them much more than I do.
I started using the "hide" button on facebook when a friend's sister started posting status updates about her father's stroke. It was a horrible way to receive such major news. I don't want to find about the major illnesses, tragedies, engagements and pregnancies of people I love through facebook.
Facebook seems to have a tendency to erase the idea of tact.
Oh Lori, I'm so sorry about your friend. Sometimes it's tough to distract ourselves. I tend to want to sleep, or get out of the house & distract myself in some way. And talking to friends helps, too.
Becky, worse is the feeling that he may not remember me in the same way I remember him. Doubtful, but it's possible. Lots of time has passed. Doesn't really matter, though. He was special to me whether I was all that to him or not. I tend to honor those types of relationships.