Freelance Writers Behaving Badly

It happened again.

Who am I kidding? It happens continuously. In forums, in email, in groups. People everywhere are committing the same sins that label them all.

They act like lazy little shits.

I was researching markets for a client pitch. A website I located had a list of markets for that particular niche industry. It was a pretty good list, too.

Unfortunately, they didn’t turn off the comments when they posted the article. And damn if someone didn’t use the bandwidth to show how lazy he is. The entire comment was this:

“I need information on getting these magazines.”

Seems reasonable, right? Except that the magazines listed all had direct links already included. In picture form, no less. Just hover over the website image, click, and boom. You’d have found it.

I’d like to assume this guy was on a cell phone or some other incompatible platform that made it tough to find that info himself. But I tried the site on my phone. No problem. And the larger point — he could’ve just searched for them with a browser.

I’d also like to assume this guy is a one-off, that he’s the lone wolf out there who doesn’t quite understand how it’s not up to the rest of us to fall over backwards to help him find basic information that’s right in front of him.

Alas. Our friend has plenty of company.

I’ve seen some of the more egregious behavior on writers forums. A job poster will put up a thread, which often includes the words “Please send me a DM and include your background and samples.”

And inevitably, writers will respond:

I’m interested. Tell me more.

I have that background. Check out my profile and website and get back to me.

Interested.

Or my personal favorite:

You say you want writers who have a background in metallurgy. I can write about ANYTHING, so that’s not fair!

Yea, go with that one. That will get you hired, right?

Oh, the sins we commit that skewer our careers, eh?

Let me just put a few things right here for whoever needs to hear them:

Clients know what they need.

Oh, I know you think you can write about anything and hey, maybe you can. So go on. Give that client a sample of how the alternative risk transfer vehicles established by Enron long outlived the company. Or dazzle them with your interpretation of the fiduciary liabilities of a mid-sized retailer and where the gaps in mitigation are.

Oh, not so much, eh? Then let the client, who knows best, find the writer who can handle that without having to look up every damned term. And stop with the self-righteous attitude. The first test is following instructions. The second is showing you’re a team player.

Get off your ass and do it yourself first.

Every successful writer I know has helped another writer or so along the way. But every successful writer I know has also had the writer who won’t do the basic research themselves. “How do I get started in freelancing?” Buy a book that tells you how, because that’s how much it would take to answer that question — a book. Several books.

Do ask for help, but don’t expect anyone else to stop what they’re doing and walk you through what would’ve taken you one Google search to locate. Do some of the work yourself. Then ask smart questions. Not how to start, but “What ways of marketing have worked for you and why?” That’s an answer any writer could give easily.

Follow directions.

I mean, really. If the poster wants you to send a direct message, send the damn thing. Stop thinking it’s up to them to research YOU. Honey, you’re one of 78 people this hour to answer that job posting. No one has time to hunt you down and dig for things you could easily send them. And if they ask for links, give them links. Now is your chance to sell them on who you are and what you can do for them. Remember, the focus is on their needs, not yours.

Respond when someone offers assistance.

A HUGE peeve for me is when I take time out of my day to answer a thread in which someone asks for help, only to see that weeks later, they’ve never returned to see the answer. Or worse, if they don’t like what I say, they skip over it. I don’t sugar-coat — if a writer needs a reality check, I give a frank, gentle one. Ignoring that because you don’t like to hear anything but rah-rah support tells me a lot about your failing business and about you as a human. Be open to criticism if it’s given in the spirit of helping you.

The truth is, if you want to push forward in your career, you have to put the effort into it. At first, you’ll need to invest more energy, but as you learn the ropes, it will become easier. You’ll learn to ask smarter questions, vet advice, try new things, and become part of a thriving community.

But you have to get off your ass first, you know?

Writers, give me an example of a writer behaving badly. Anything goes! Let’s share horror stories.