Just when you think it couldn’t get weirder, it does.
I’m talking about job postings. Let’s not call them “freelance opportunities” because honey, they’re not. They’re employer/employee listings. Someone is looking for a writer, but is dictating the salary. That’s not a freelance writer at all. But I digress.
This listing, which is probably the most unbelievably strange one I’ve seen, comes to us from Jenn Mattern. Jenn is not someone who cruises job postings for her own work, but rather does so to help other writers find something somewhat decent.
In her search, she comes across some pretty weird shit.
This takes the prize.
Live-In Editor/Receptionist — AVAILABLE FOR IMMEDIATE MOVE IN!!!
(We will take this ad down once the position has been filled.)Unusual opportunity for LIVE-IN Part-Time Editor/Receptionist (many hats to wear) wanted for community run by internationally renowned sexologist, best-selling author (A Female Someone You’ve Never Heard Of). You must be a good editor, with a nice telephone voice and personality. You should be experienced in, or at least interested in learning about, Word Press, Twitter, Facebook and other social media (will train, if needed).
In this live-in, part-time position, you’ll be editing our weekly blog, Print Magazine (published quarterly), writing/posting pieces about (Book Title) editing our social media site– YYYY, and writing newsletters for our Saturday night live broadcasts and our telephone sex therapy practice, as well as answering the phone, during your four-hour shift.
Please Note: For the Magazine, you will ONLY be editing written content, you will NOT be expected to do the magazine layout or graphic design work.
This is a BARTER position. You give us 4 hours a day, six days a week, including Saturday nights… In return you’ll get a nice, fairly large, private studio, all you can eat, free internet, laundry, maid service for the common areas, secure parking and a very cool bohemian atmosphere in our Arcadia location with an erotic art gallery, studio and bar within an exciting, vibrant, socialist-style, capitalist-oriented community of artists, writers, technologists, and sexologists. You’ll also LEARN a LOT, and you’ll meet some of the most interesting people in Los Angeles and from around the world.
You should be smart, personable, self-motivated, well-spoken, responsible, organized, computer literate and, of course, a good writer/editor. You should be a fast learner.
Even though this is a Barter position, there are different opportunities to earn extra income ($10 -$60/hour and more) working with us. There is also the potential for advancement here.
Please send resume, 2 – 3 writing samples, a photo and a well-written personal email about why you feel you fit this position to
(EMAIL ADDRESS)
• Compensation: $1200/month worth of room, board, amenities + lucrative commissions
NOTE THIS IS A LIVE-IN POSITION ONLY– Sorry, do not ask to work remotely for salary
Sorry NO PETS
Something tells me not being able to have a pet may be the least of your worries.
But let’s look at this for what it is.
Live-In Editor/Receptionist — AVAILABLE FOR IMMEDIATE MOVE IN!!!
Um, do you really want to live where you work? No? Good. Because that’s just damn strange.
In this live-in, part-time position, you’ll be editing our weekly blog, Print Magazine (published quarterly), writing/posting pieces about (Book Title) editing our social media site– YYYY, and writing newsletters for our Saturday night live broadcasts and our telephone sex therapy practice, as well as answering the phone, during your four-hour shift.
Gee, just four hours a day? Really? Sounds great! Except the work described cannot be done in just four hours. It just can’t. And answering the phone. Um, exactly what type of line is that? And are you expected to answer it whenever it rings, even if you’re not on the clock?
This is a BARTER position. You give us 4 hours a day, six days a week, including Saturday nights…
Back. The truck. Up. Six days a week, including Saturday nights. Can anyone tell me why an editor/receptionist (and THANK YOU for giving the editor as much importance as the person answering your phone, you putz) needs to work Saturday nights?
Let’s just stop right there. Working nights. For a sexologist. Meeting “some of the most interesting people.”
I’m thinking the job isn’t about conjugating verbs.
Dear God, can we do better. MUCH better. Instead of living over this woman’s garage and becoming an indentured servant (because it’s against the law NOT to pay someone for an actual job they’re hired to do), let’s look for something — ANYTHING — that isn’t this. Please. Never this.
Sunset Magazine
Sunset is Western America’s largest-circulation regional magazine (more than 1 million subscribers) covering 13 Western US states and British Columbia and Mexico.
Needs: travel and recreation; garden/outdoor living; food and entertaining; home design, remodeling, and projects.
Payment: Not stated, but rumored to be around $1 – $1.50 per word.
Look at that. No weekends. No bartering. No inability to move on if you don’t like it.
Writers, what bugs you about the first job listing above?
What’s one of the worst jobs you’ve ever been offered?
9 responses to “Wednesday Wisdom: This Job, Not That Job”
It’s another international, sex cult, trafficking, human experimentation operation. Sorry if this post is offensive. But the “writing” is on the wall.
No, your post isn’t offensive, Gianna. It’s the original “job” posting that is. Thank you for adding another layer of ohmygawdno to this. You’re probably right — this feels really, really sick.
Thanks, Lori — “ohmygawdno” is a good way to put it.
What bugs me about that job listing? Everything.
I wonder if it’s a new twist on that other LA-based “job” from a few months ago that seemed to blur the line between bad job offer and human trafficking alert.
Beyond creepy.
I’m wondering too, Paula. There is a photo with this one, so it may be more legitimate. But judging from the photo, it’s easy to see the message is that boundaries aren’t necessarily boundaries….
Speaking of photos….Moral of the story: unless you’re a model or actor, avoid any job listing that requires you to submit a photo.
Or a video. One of these ads asked for a video.
And a snapshot of the applicant’s calendar showing “how you organize your schedule.” Is that the new euphemism for handing over to a stranger your movements for the next month?
I read this when I was deep in a big project with a tight deadline, so I’m late in commenting; but this post sure gave me a much-needed break at the time. I was a bit stressed, and all I could do was howl. Then I had to read it to my husband, which was hard to do with a straight voice. We both shook our heads in complete, stunned amazement. And after that, I returned to my task, grateful that despite the pressures of the work I was doing, it was at least legitimate.
Thanks for a great reality check, Lori and Jenn.
Felt a bit like indentured servitude, didn’t it Ranee? And here I’d thought I’d seen the worst there was.
The internet continues to churn up these shockers.