It’s not rare when a writer friend sends me a lousy offer to post here on the blog. We writers stick up for each other, and part of that includes alerting newer, less experienced writers on bad offers framed as good ones.
What is rare is when two writer friends send me two separate lousy offers. On the same day, and from the same job posting site.
I won’t call out the posting site as they do post a number of good offers, though I’ll never quite understand the reluctance to say “Yeah, no. That’s way too low” and reject the ads.
This is about sh*tty job postings, not the ethics of posting obviously lousy listings (that’s another post for another day).
So I give you a rare thing: a double-header installment of This Job, Not That Job.
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The first job posting came from Sharon Hurley Hall, and it’s a winner –of one of the sh*ttiest offers I’ve seen:
COMPANY X is looking for writers that love Instagram.
We’ve got a long list of basic keywords to base your articles on. Most importantly, articles need to provide some kind of value to the reader. Whether it’s a tip to get more engagement or a trend you’ve recently discovered, letting our audience know through your post is all that we ask for.
Why you’ll want this gig:
- It’s long-term and a regular gig if you’re good
- You can choose what to write about from a huge list we’ve created
- We pay on time
- You can work remotely, anywhere in the world
- If you write better in your underwear we won’t judge you
We’re offering you:
- $40 for a 1200 word article
- $60 for a 1600 word article
- $80 for a 2000 word article
- Opportunity to work with us full-time.
- And an opportunity to step into a bigger role if you’re a good fit 🙂
You need to:
- Be an English native
- Be passionate about the ‘gram
- Be a lover of short sentences
- Be someone who can put pen to paper when it comes to tips and tricks
- Obviously be an active Instagrammer (no exceptions)
- Be able to write in a fun, lighthearted way
- Know how to do your research!
- Have a PayPal account so we can pay you.
- Be able to output 2-8 articles a month.
Your content:
Make my life simple by showing me that you know how to:
- Write short sentences
- Keep things entertaining and people reading
- Follow basic instructions
- Tone of voice should be relatively sober
- Proofread your own work (nobody likes correcting grammar)
- Offer value to the reader.
The last part is really important. You need to show us that you’re able to add value to the reader. Flex your knowledge about Instagram.
Lastly, there are writing formulas we’ll happily share with you. Your writing will improve with us.
And you’ll become a more valuable copywriter.
Feel free to apply and we’ll get back to you within the week.
Please see the application instructions to ensure you get considered for the role!
Application Instructions
Let’s keep this super simple:1. Apply only by sending me an email: (removed)
2. Subject line of your email should be “Hashtag brownies” (anything else will be ignored)
3. Let us know who you are and why you want this gig!
4. Specify your Instagram username
5. Attach a link to a Google Doc containing anything else you feel is relevant to your application
6. Tell us what your target audience is if you were writing for a company like SproutSocial.
7. Tell us what your ambitions are (is this just a side-hustle? Do you want to part-time freelance or eventually work with us full-time?)
8. Write a 300-word piece about a new trend on Instagram:Tone of voice: Lighthearted but professional
Content style: exploratory & explanatory (inform the reader who/what/when/how/why)
Keyword: “Instagram Takeover” (include this at least three times anywhere in the article, including your title)
- You can choose what to write about from a huge list we’ve created
More proof of that keyword-stuffing purpose.
- You can work remotely, anywhere in the world
Because I don’t now? I don’t understand why these kinds of people throw this in there as though they’re the ones “giving” you such a perk.
- If you write better in your underwear we won’t judge you
If I write better in my underwear, that’s none of your f*cking business.
$40 for a 1200 word article
$60 for a 1600 word article
$80 for a 2000 word article
I just threw up a little in my mouth. $40. For 1,200 words. $80. For 2,000 words.
Opportunity to work with us full-time.
And an opportunity to step into a bigger role if you’re a good fit 🙂
Christ, you’d have to work with them full time (and “full time” does not get a hyphen if it’s not modifying anything, ya putzes). Let’s assume a 1,200-word article takes you six hours. Six hours of writing original content times eight (let’s assume you’re prolific). Forty-eight hours of your life. Each article pays $40. That’s a gross of $320. Sound good? Then you’ve not done the math. Divide those 48 hours by the $320 you’d earn that month. How much is that per hour?
Wow. Not even a dollar an hour. Is that what you think your time and skill are really worth?
If you’re still reading that ad, don’t miss this gem:
8. Write a 300-word piece about a new trend on Instagram
Yep. You, freelance writer, have to give them free f*cking content just to apply. Let’s assume you have taken a blow to the head lately and you do apply. Let’s assume there are about 400 other
idiots desperate writers who have done the same.
They now have 400 articles. Let’s assume half of them are usable.
Show of hands: how many people here think they’re actually going to hire anyone now that they have all this free content? Hmm. I don’t see any hands up…
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Ah, but it’s not as bad (well, yes it is) as this ad sent to me by Devon Ellington. This one targets emerging and wanna-be authors.
This could well be your next great writing gig!
We are currently looking to expand our fiction team with amazing and experienced romance writers (based in the US or Canada) in all romance subgenres. We are a fast-paced, growing ghostwriting service that can provide you with consistent and exciting projects week after week!
As a company, our core mission is to provide the highest quality novels and a great experience to our clients, and if this is in line with your philosophy then we’d love to consider you for a position with us.
If you are someone that takes pride in their work and is looking to earn a consistent income doing something you enjoy, working from the comfort of your home or office, and doing so alongside an excited and brilliant team, then this could be your opportunity!
Our current rate is $15 USD per 1,000 words, and this will be increasing to $17 per 1,000 words from mid/late-May (Projects are from 20k to 150k words). Some of our busier writers are earning $1,200+ a month writing a few hours a day around their studies or other gigs. We offer consistent work without having to apply for jobs, work comes to you.
We are looking for experienced ROMANCE fiction writers. You must have experience in the romance genre and have a great level of understanding of your preferred subgenres, themes, and tropes.
Important: When applying you will be asked to select a maximum of 3 subgenres that you write well. Think carefully about the subgenres you select, choose your strongest subgenres that you write really well, enjoy most and know most about. Please submit a sample for each subgenre you select. If you are successful, we may hire you for 1, 2 or all 3 of your chosen subgenres based on your understanding of the subgenre’s conventions and your ability to write each.
Our Requirements:
- You write amazing Romance stories. With a lot of tension, a great dialogue, conflict and full of emotion.
- You are US/CAN based, or American/Canadian living outside of the US/CAN. Native speaker.
- You can work with deadlines. (We offer some flexibility around projects, but once a project is assigned the deadline is fixed)
- You are knowledgeable in your preferred Romance Subgenres. You understand what a particular reader is looking for and you are familiar with the components that make up certain subgenres, themes, and tropes. (You can research new themes and tropes) You will be questioned about this.
- You take pride in your work and can consistently deliver high-quality novels. You are focused on delivering what the client and reader are after.
- Looking for a long-term commitment, eager and available to work and can comfortably deliver a minimum of 15,000 words a week.
- Reliable, well-spoken and open to constructive criticism.
- You are a great communicator.
Few things to consider
We are looking for writers that can commit for at least 3-6 months. We have clients who come to us to create their entire series (which can be 3+ books) and they prefer to work with the same writer instead of having to change writers mid-project. This requires a basic commitment (3 months or so).Also, you must be able to sit down and write in order to meet deadlines. Good planning should make this easier.
Whilst this gig can be part-time, you must be able to meet deadlines and be available throughout the day to respond to client messages on our platform.
Finally, you must also be okay with not getting credit for your writing as this is a ghostwriting position.
How To Apply?
If you would like to be considered for a position with us please apply by completing our application form below.
Please attach a sample for each subgenre you select (you can select a maximum of 3 subgenres). Each sample must be at least 1,000 words.
We will get in contact with you after reviewing your answers and samples. Good Luck!
P.S We also have openings for Nonfiction writers
Whoa. That was painful to read. Okay, here we go:
This could well be your next great writing gig!
Somehow, promising this makes me oh, so skeptical.
Aside from that bolded, exclamation-pointed (is that a word? It is now) declaration, this one starts out quite promising.
As a company, our core mission is to provide the highest quality novels and a great experience to our clients, and if this is in line with your philosophy then we’d love to consider you for a position with us.
Well hell, who wouldn’t say yes to that? The chance to write the “highest quality novels” appeals universally, no?
Our current rate is $15 USD per 1,000 words,
No. No you didn’t.
and this will be increasing to $17 per 1,000 words from mid/late-May
Did you see that? They dangled the pay raise right there.
(Projects are from 20k to 150k words).
Say what? Lot of words don’t you think? Gee, someone could make some serious coin here, right?
Some of our busier writers are earning $1,200+ a month writing a few hours a day around their studies or other gigs. We offer consistent work without having to apply for jobs, work comes to you.
Gosh, that sounds almost good right there. I mean, who doesn’t want an extra $1,200 a month for just a few hours of work?
And right there is where they get you. On a false premise. A busy writer, who can just fit this 20K-to150K words per month in around studying and lounging around in our underwear (at least they didn’t go there like the last one did), could really make some money, right?
- Looking for a long-term commitment, eager and available to work and can comfortably deliver a minimum of 15,000 words a week.
Show of hands: how many of you have tried the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) thing? You know, writing 50K words in a month? I have. And while I’m a pretty fast writer, even I know 50K words a month is tough.
But you’re not expected to do that. No. You’re expected to come up with a minimum of 60K words. Each month.
And what are you going to earn for your month’s worth of writing until your keyboard dies?
Nine hundred bucks. Yes, my friend, you have just spent 28-31 days killing yourself to meet this arbitrary deadline for 900 bucks.
Who exactly is getting rich of this? Not you, my friend. Never you.
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So let’s get to the other side of this post. What kind of job do you take instead? For the first lousy post, try something like this:
Poets & Writers Magazine
Poets & Writers Magazine is a bimonthly publication for writers of poetry, fiction, and creative nonfiction. Among other things, the magazine needs News & Trends: brief articles (500-1,200 words) that keep our readers abreast of pertinent information in the writing and publishing industries.
Payment: Up to $500
Suggested query topic: An article on the sh*tty job offers floating around.
Here’s an alternative to the job posting for the romance writer:
Write your own romance novel.
Seriously, why do you need someone to pay you garbage rates for work you know they’re going to make much more money off of? And don’t say But my work may not be published! It doesn’t matter. You are much more valuable a commodity than $15 damn dollars per 1,000 words. Besides, you can always self-publish.
Writers, what kinds of awfulness have you seen circulating lately?
What’s the worst you’ve ever seen — that one posting that still ticks you off?
13 responses to “A Double Dose of This Job, Not That Job”
Unbelievable. It’s sad to think anyone falls for this crap. I don’t know if you’ve read any of the links I shared from Nora Robert’s blog where she is taking on the scammers who exploit Amazon’s weak ebook system. It rewards the low-life scammers who hire ghostwriters (minimally paid) to string together plagiarized scrapings from multiple real writers. The scammers rake in the profits and continue to publish(?) the lifted copy as quickly and as cheaply as possible. Here’s Nora’s 1st post in the series about this that describes the ghostwriter’s role. http://fallintothestory.com/plagiarism-then-and-now/
I saw some of this story, Cathy! It’s painful to think of all those writers who are being ripped off!
Sharon, I’ve been ripped off on this very blog a number of times by a writer who is selling to other writers. It’s a damn crime. But while that’s bad, it’s nowhere near as bad as a writer who is trying to earn money off of the work that’s being stolen.
I get the feeling this “company” could be one of the ones Nora is describing.
I had the same thought, Paula.
Cathy, I did see that when you posted on Facebook. THANK YOU for putting it here! It’s a post every single writer should read and take a lesson from.
A really tiny thing in the second posting really stood out to me: “We are looking for writers that can commit for at least 3-6 months. We have clients who come to us to create their entire series (which can be 3+ books) and they prefer to work with the same writer instead of having to change writers mid-project. This requires a basic commitment (3 months or so).”
Do you see it? “..writers that,” as if writers are objects. Worse yet, it was immediately followed by “…clients who.”
Considering their pay rates are so low, I’m not surprised.
Ah! Subtle! Very good eye, Paula. I did not see it. I think I was blinded by the other garbage in this post — such as this little gem: “…working from the comfort of your home…”
STOP PROMISING WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE.
And the underwear thing. Yeesh.
I think that/which jumped out at me because in a play I wrote last year I made sure one character never referred to two other characters as she/they/her/them/who – just “it” and “that.” Yes, those two characters happened to be talking fashion dolls, but dolls are people, too. Sort of.
Yeah, writing a series in 3-6 months? I think not. This ad ENRAGED me.
As well it should, Devon. It thoroughly pissed me off, I’ll tell you, and on two levels:
–Some writer is getting grossly underpaid for far too much work
–Some writer is likely “borrowing” from other writers’ works to meet this stupid, arbitrary quota
Either way, it’s intolerable.
It really pisses me off when potential clients try to “sell” me on the fact I can work from home. Yes, it has its perks. However, there are just as many if not more upsides for the client: no paying benefits, only needing to pay for work on an as-needed basis, and not having to provide equipment or a heated workspace just to name a few.
EXACTLY. Krista, you’ve nailed it. The benefits are mutual. I keep thinking the people who post these kinds of “perks” are projecting just how outdated their thinking is. Gee, I get to work from HOME! Ooo! You guys must be soooo groovy to work for!