Not long ago, we had a salesperson come to the house for a product demonstration/sales call. The appointment was set for 11 on a Saturday morning.
At 6:30 pm, we ended the sales pitch. And it was the third or fourth time we’d ended it.
We’d missed both lunch and dinner. I was seriously worried that I’d miss bedtime, too.
It was a non-stop sales pitch. This guy talked constantly and he used his outside voice (I can’t stand when anyone talks loudly indoors). My husband remained polite and engaged because he was sincerely interested in the product (and he’s not as time-driven as I am). My politeness went out the window three hours prior when there was no sign this was ever going to end. I hinted at the time, I asked the salesperson if he didn’t have other clients to meet with — trying to be polite. Then I realized he was oblivious and thoughtless. If he couldn’t take a hint like “Lord! We missed lunch. I didn’t realize the time” then he needed someone to be blunt.
That would be me. I started telling him at 4:30 that we needed to wrap things up as our day was getting away from us and we had plenty to do. At 5, I repeated it. At 6, I said, “Look, I’m starving and I want to go get dinner.”
By 6:30, we were walking him to the door. He was still talking when we closed the door.
No, we didn’t buy from him — a fact he knew before we ended things. To his credit (and this is the only credit he gets), he didn’t turn off the charm like some salespeople do when they realize the sale isn’t coming.
But he missed some obvious cues that any good salesperson should be able to pick up on:
- I’d gone silent, then sullen
- I decided to snack in front of him (I cringe to think of how rude that was)
- I’d told him, both sideways and straightforward, that I wanted to end the appointment
He set the wrong tone from the beginning, actually. He was late for the appointment — 20 minutes late — and he never once mentioned it or apologized for it.
He was nice, but nice doesn’t cover the myriad of problems with his method.
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So, freelance writer, is this how your potential clients are viewing your pitches? If so, you’re leaving the impression that you’re anything but professional.
(And that salesperson — technically, he acted professional in his delivery, but his lack of attention to our needs was indeed unprofessional.)
Here’s where you might be messing up (and how you might go about fixing it):
The Misplaced Pitch
Anyone who’s ever received a press release or a note from a PR person that doesn’t relate one iota to their business concentration knows how frustrating it is to have that stuff clogging the In Box. Today alone, I’ve deleted press emails about 1) how parents can reduce sugar in their children’s diets; 2) cannabis marketing techniques; 3) keto diet tips for cancer patients; 4) intimacy after cancer (how did I get on this list exactly?), and; 5) a podcast announcement on customer service channel management. Any of that relate to business insurance? Not one bit. While I might be able to make a few of them business related, the people contacting me are focusing on consumers, not businesses so much (except the cannabis and the podcast, and they still don’t fit well).
So why are you sending that great article idea to the wrong publication? Do your homework. If they’ve never printed a how-to article on composting, they’re not going to be convinced to because you say it’s a great idea. The same goes for sending misplaced letters of introduction to potential clients. Does a company that sells basketballs really need a writer whose main focus has been in the pet industry? Find the right client for you, and stop trying to make your clients fit into your mold.
The Overly Familiar Pitch
Can we just lose the exclamation points altogether? If not, please — for the love of all that is decent — keep them out of your business communications. The same goes for the crazy fonts, the loud salesperson-style “Act Now! But wait, there’s more!” garbage.
Keep it about their needs. Here’s your writing background, but framed to show how you can benefit what they do. “For 12 years, I’ve been trusted by large and small companies to deliver thought leadership pieces that gets their company noticed.” Stop trying to cram your offer down their throats with your exclamation points.
The Disappearing Charm Pitch
Haven’t we all been subjected to telling a salesperson no, then getting the cold shoulder? In one extreme case, a salesperson sitting at my dining room table actually slammed her briefcase shut and refused to say anything other than goodbye. The same thing happened when I interviewed a man for a potential article for my risk management blog. He was all smiles and niceness when the tape recorder was running. The second I turned the recorder off, his smile dissolved and he turned on his heel and walked away quickly — no goodbye, no thank you, no get lost. Just gone. This was an article that never ran. If he couldn’t be bothered to be decent, I couldn’t be bothered to give his company free publicity.
If they say no to you or give you an answer other than the Yes you were expecting, your next move could leave a lasting impression. Did you thank them? Did you offer to get in touch at a later time to see if their needs have changed? Did you keep them on your list of contacts to send interesting articles to? Were you nice even when it was obvious the sale wasn’t happening? People talk to others who hire writers. Make what they have to say to them a positive thing. If you don’t see why that should matter to you, think back to my salesperson story — do you honestly think I’m giving him a referral? And if someone asks me about him or his company, what do you think I’m going to tell them? It matters.
The Negative Pitch
If you’ve ever been tempted to write to a company and say “Your website sucks — you need me to fix it” … don’t. Saying hello to someone with a complaint sets a bad tone. Suppose someone came to your house and said “Your kitchen (the one you just renovated) is so outdated. I can redesign it for you.” How are you going to feel? If it were me, I’d want to kick that person right out of my house, particularly if I’d been the one who’d designed the kitchen this person clearly hates.
If you want to get work, show them how you can help. Instead of the complaint, try the compliment. “You have a comprehensive website with a really strong message. Have you ever thought about adding a blog or an articles section?”
Writers, what pitch mistakes have you seen? Have you committed any early in your career that you managed to correct?
5 responses to “The Writing Pitch, Perfected”
My In Box is filled with “pitches” from people trying to sell something to me or get me to buy content for my sites — that are completely irrelevant to my sites. My author websites, each dedicated to the series they promote don’t post articles about sexual enhancement drugs or about gun holsters. So why are you trying to sell me articles on that crap? Read my sites. Do your homework.
And if you tell me my sites suck and you want to be hired to fix them — don’t. Just don’t. Especially if your post is mis-spelled and has mis-used words.
Basically, when I pitch, I try to avoid what drives me nuts when I’m on the receiving end.
I do often pitch out of my usual realm of topics — but in that case, I make it a point to say why I’m the right choice to write about it even though it’s a stretch — my interest in it, my contacts, my unique POV on the topic, whatever.
The stupid makes me weary.
The stupid makes me weary too, Devon. And I like your qualifier — you pitch outside your usual topic areas, but with a clear explanation of why you’re the right person for the job.
I always thank potential clients who reply, even like the other day when he responded saying they seldom use freelancers, and already have a couple of freelance writers on call when they do need them, but would keep me in mind if they need extra help. I thanked him for his swift reply and said I’d probably check in now and then in case their situation changes—but not often enough to be a pest.
Speaking of pests….the sales guy was there how long? Why would anyone hire someone with such obvious issues with time management?
Several months back, I had to hire a handyman to replace a faucet that had begun spraying water across the kitchen if it wasn’t firmly shut off. A neighbor recommended him. He walked in, looked at the nice, old, DEEP—and yes, a bit dinged up—porcelain-coated cast iron sink that I love—and said, “You need a new sink.”
No. I told him how much I love the sink and the fact that it’s already got a few dings means I won’t freak out if he accidentally dings it when replacing the faucet. Which he did. (Although I’m not sure it was accidental.)
He also told me several other things that needed replacing. I finally had to tell him, “This house is 97-years old. I don’t want anything to be shiny-and-new because it would be totally out of place.”
As if that wasn’t enough to prevent me from permanently losing his contact information, he asked my age (that’s something only divulged on a need-to-know basis and he had no need to know); he asked what I do for a living and after I said I write about the TV industry he proceeded to mansplain parts of the business he clearly knows nothing about. Oh, and then he started getting political (opposite side of the spectrum, too), and at one point said he wouldn’t finish installing the faucet until I answered a question about investing. Seriously. He posited that investors should rightfully expect at least a 10% ROI, so he didn’t like my answer: Investing is a speculative activity, so no one should “expect” any ROI at all. You’re investing money on the hope that you’ll earn a good ROI with the understanding that all of those funds are at risk.
What I should have done? Waved the unsigned check under his nose and say, “Well, you’re certainly not getting paid until the job is completed.”
Such. A. Jerk. No only did he lose future business from me, he lost the potential business of anyone I could have referred his way. And after I told the guy who’d referred him to me….I kind of doubt he’ll get much business from him anymore, either.
Are you serious? He held an answer over your head like that? I would have shown him the door and told him the answer to his investment question was on the other side of it. What an absolute jerk! He asked far too many questions, and I’d never work with someone again who got that personal that fast. And I’d wait until he was gone to tell him so. You never know — anyone who gets that personal sends up instant warning flags to me.
The sales guy was here that long. Seriously. Time management was clearly an issue for him, but so was consideration for his potential customers. It was absurd. I was so hungry and so damned tired of his loud talking that I wasn’t being even cordial anymore. And he never noticed.
Thankfully the jerk was only here about an hour. And believe me, had be been anything more than an opinionated jerk I was prepared – I know where every potential weapon is in this house. It’s always helpful knowledge. I know which frying pan is the heaviest, where all of the chemicals are that I could spray into an attacker’s eyes, and that innocent looking knitting needles (which frankly can be found almost anywhere around here – same with scissors) can make great weapons.
The very first time I was home alone as a kid (for an hour), I mentally mapped the house for anything I could use as a weapon if a someone broke in or a monster came up from the basement. (Never mind that the dog we had at the time would have viscously attacked any stranger he saw. He was a crazy but loyal mutt.)