Free Advice Friday: This Job, Not That Job

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Remember that relaxing I wanted to do yesterday? Didn’t happen. Just as I exhaled, a favorite editor sent over an assignment that’s due in a week. It should be an easy one as it’s one interview and the source is standing at the ready, but it’s one more thing.

I’m loving being this busy, though. The holidays are coming.

However, if you’re working for our latest entry in the Jobs from Hell category, Christmas might be something you’ll have to pass on, as well as birthdays, eating out, eating at all….

As Jenn Mattern puts together her highly vetted job listings on All Indie Writers, she’s good enough to pass the offenders on to me so we can enjoy the hilarity that comes from people who can’t possibly be serious. And yet they are, which is why I started this little series so long ago. So much material, so little bandwidth…

This Job, Not That Job

Here’s this month’s nomination for the absolute worst job offer ever.

Hi

This job is little different. I am not looking for any expensive professional writer. But I am looking for talented writers (2-3 writers)

-who are passionate about writing web content/blog articles on volunteer abroad, travel abroad
-who are travelling/volunteer abroad and living in developing countries like Thailand, Peru, Costarica.. any where in the world
– who are looking for writing projects to enhance writing skills and also too make extra income (pocket money).

– and very good in meeting deadlines

This is full time job. so I expect 40 hours of writing per week. hours can be flexible. you can work in your own hours. but i expect to have chat with writers at least 5-10 minutes a day.

As this job is designed for writers who are travelling and wants to make money, max i can
pay is $500- $800 per month (depending up on your qualification and experience)

Again, this is not for any professional writers who are looking to make money.This is a job for travelers with strong writing skills and looking for this kind of flexible jobs to make money.


Oh, honey. Where do I start? Let’s just ignore the many misspellings and grammatical issues — they pale in comparison to the smell emanating from this one.

I am not looking for any expensive professional writer.


Good thing. You’re not going to get one. In fact, you may not get a writer at all.


But I am looking for talented writers (2-3 writers)


So you want talent but not professional, because the difference is….??

– who are looking for writing projects to enhance writing skills and also too make extra income (pocket money).

This is your first clue — this person is already devaluing your skills. Hell, he did so in the second sentence. Not only are you getting paid “pocket money” (way to further those talented-but-not-professional writers), but you’re doing this to “enhance” your writing skills (because you talented ones need the practice).

This is full time job. so I expect 40 hours of writing per week.

Wait. This guy wants you to commit to a full-time job, 40 hours a week, for pocket money?? He can’t be serious.

you can work in your own hours. but i expect to have chat with writers at least 5-10 minutes a day.

So in essence, you can’t really work your own hours. You have to log in 40 hours each week and be available for phone calls ever day. Welcome to your meal ticket, writers. This guy has just required you to be on the clock, even calling it a “full-time job.” By federal and most state laws (probably all), that requirement and his wording just made you his employee. Time to hit him up for benefits, vacation time, workers’ compensation….. And yes, I’m serious.

As this job is designed for writers who are travelling and wants to make money, max i can
pay is $500- $800 per month

I. Can’t. Breathe. Laughing. Too. Hard.

If you are traveling and want to make money, apparently the best you can do is $500-800 a month for what’s already been described as a full-time, 40-hour-per-week job. Oh, and forget traveling — you’ll have no time. You’ll be busy working and talking to your new employer.

Here’s the nonsequitur of the day: As this job is designed for writers who are travelling and wants to make money, max i can pay is $500- $800 per month  How exactly do those two thoughts relate?

(depending up on your qualification and experience) 

You mean the experience you say you don’t want but are offering for these people to bone up on?

Again, this is not for any professional writers who are looking to make money.


Damn right it’s not. Apparently, it’s not for anyone who is looking to make money.

This is a job for travelers with strong writing skills and looking for this kind of flexible jobs to make money.


So you have to be a traveler, not a writer. But you have to have strong writing skills, which usually make you a writer. Oh, and you have to be looking for the kind of “flexible jobs” that offers you the worst possible set of requirements for the ridiculously low price of $500 (because you can guarantee you’re never seeing $800 unless it’s your own money).

Instead of gluing yourself to an unworthy employer, try something better.

PR Agency Seeking Copywriters

Growing content, PR and social media marketing firm hoping to hire talented writers to meet the needs of our growing list of clients.

Our writers have a lot of flexibility and can often choose from different projects and decide how much work they can handle. In many ways, this job is what you make of it, but to give you an idea of what you’re getting into, here are some of the most common responsibilities we give writers:

-Pitching article ideas for a wide variety of clients.
-Writing and posting blogs, articles, reports, press releases, product descriptions and other online content.
-All things SEO, at least as it pertains to copy.
-Incorporating feedback and making edits when needed.
-Attending conference calls with clients and other members of the team.

Depending on your skill and commitment, your responsibilities can grow to include:

-Managing social media accounts for large companies.
-Interacting with journalists and editors to get placement on reputable websites.
-Marketing your content online and compiling and sharing analytical data on your efforts with clients.
-Hosting webinars and training sessions.
Compensation: $500 – $1,000/week
Bonuses available
Could lead to full-time salaried position


So instead of selling your soul for $500 a month, you can take on projects of your choosing and make that much per week– or more.

Writers, what’s the worst you’ve seen lately?

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Comments

  • Amel August 28, 2015 at 11:22 am

    I recently added a new section to my blog called "Bad Jobs," and it is similar to what you are doing here:

    http://www.freelancemarketguides.com/category/bad-jobs/

    I saw the first (so-called travel writing) ad yesterday and was going to write a post about it on my blog…but looks like you beat me to it. Great job!

    Reply
  • Lori Widmer August 28, 2015 at 12:48 pm

    Amel, I love your take on these lousy jobs! Go for it. Just because I covered it doesn't mean you can't, right?

    The more of us getting word out to unsuspecting newbies, the better.

    Reply
  • Melanie Kissell August 28, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    It's Friday. I needed a good giggle. I experienced something much better here — hearty belly laughter!! What made me laugh the hardest was this jerk's 'serious' tone. This guy is off his rocker! Or as my dad used to say, "A half bubble off true level." LOL!

    Reply
  • Lori Widmer August 28, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    Isn't this one great, Melanie? I love that Jenn sends me these. 🙂 Definitely a half bubble off! LOL

    Reply
  • Paula Hendrickson August 28, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    I'm guessing the "employer" – who probably isn't even in the US himself – was seeking people traveling outside the US in an effort to circumvent Federal employment regulations.

    I've got one for you, Lori. First hand, no less.

    You know I'm a big knitter. In the past I was a contracted blogger for a knitting company. They compensated us with yarn. Lots and lots of yarn. Not just the yarn and supplies needed to make items to blog about, but $100 worth of yarn (our choice) few months – after submitting something like 6 or 8 posts. That worked for me!

    Anyway, last week I saw a listing seeking writers who knit to write pattern descriptions. The pay was low $11/hour, but I thought it might be fun. They only wanted 10 hours per week, so I figured I could write about knitting on evenings or weekends and make $110 a week. Not what I'd LIKE to make, but it would put me back in the knitting world.

    Last weekend I heard back. They explained what they wanted and how they worked. They asked if I could re-write (first red flag) a couple of vague pattern descriptions, 75 words each, on the promise that if they used they they would pay. I thought, Why not? He said to let me know how long each one took. Maybe 12 minutes, but I took a moment to research the yarns so I could write something that made sense. He loved them and said he'd pay me. (Of course!) But said most of his writers average SIX MINUTES per entry, so I'd have to get it down to that.

    Right then I knew it wasn't for me. Basically, he wants 10 75-word descriptions (or 750 words) per HOUR. For which he'll pay a whopping $11. Really?

    I emailed back asking how and where the descriptions would be used. No reply. So I haven't even had the chance to lecture him on how that $11/hour breaks down to $.0146667 per word. I can't even pronounce a number that small – and the 666 seemed fitting.

    No, I won't demand payment…I doubt he'd pay me for the half hour I spent on the two blurbs. And I can't even do the math to figure out what the per-word rate would be on those.

    Waste. Of. Time.

    Reply
  • Lori Widmer August 31, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    Paula, that one stinks! Amazing how some people, with what they deem to be a bit of power, go nuts with it. Honestly, even writing back to tell him how insulting he is isn't worth it.

    What gets me is he didn't care about the quality as much as the time. Screams content mill to me.

    Reply
  • Anne Wayman September 1, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    Awful… truly awful.

    btw, I don't worry about spelling – that's one reason to hire a writer.

    Reply