What’s on the iPod: Iceberg by We Invented Paris
I love weeks like this. I had time to work on a project, get some personal projects done, market, and meet new clients via social media. I sense a bunch of projects about to come in, and I’m gearing up to get a much-anticipated personal project promoted. Plus, the last of the snow came down very early Tuesday morning and it’s now in the mid-fifties/low-sixties outside. Can’t you just feel the changes happening both internally and externally?
That doesn’t mean there isn’t the same amount of garbage clogging the cyber highway. Chum Jenn Mattern sent over this particular pseudo-job, which will serve as this week’s lesson in mediocrity. So without further adieu, I give you this installment of This Job, Not That Job.
Free Advice Friday: This Job, Not That Job
Oh, if only we writers could educate the job posters, we’d be able to avoid the majority of drivel such as this:
Not your standard “writers wanted” post. We’re looking for internet culture savvy writers (with strong technical skills) to write for our 14 sites across a growing network. (**Apologies, we cannot hire outside the US at this time.**)
If you’ve tried to break into writing online, you know that there are generally higher rates available with very little work to do, or lower rates offered with a lot of competition for work. Neither provides a steady flow of income in place of regular work.
We’re changing the content market, and we have some spots available for people looking to get into writing or simply make a bit of money on the side from home. Unlike most writing opportunities, we’re not a content farm. You choose your topics and write, we pay you a set rate.
Here’s what we offer:
* **Constant volume**, no fighting over arcane topics. Write what’s topical, interesting, and fun. Reddit is a great source for leads. We promise you will never have to compete for work.
* **Decent pay**. Most of our writers can complete two posts an hour, which works out to $10 hourly to start. (We pay $5 per post.) Better than an office, and you don’t have to wear pants.
* **Experience**. If you’re a good writer and between jobs, your work with us is a great resume highlight for career growth. You can use your real name, or a pen name, but be prepared to share on social sites with your pen name, please. Real name bylines are preferable.
* **Weekly payments**. No more waiting for a cash out limit. Get paid on Thursdays, automagically.
* **Flexibility**. We have weekly quotas based on your availability, but you can write around classes, kids, or volunteer firefighting.
* **Work that’s fun**. Let’s face it, you’re on Reddit because you like to jibber jabber about current events. We’ll pay you to do that!
I can’t go on. The “offer” just rambles on for another page. Ugh.
So let’s look at this up close:
Not the standard post — how? How is this not the same as every other crap job we’ve seen? Oh, I guess because it’s their offer. Wow. Almost missed how special that was.
If you’ve tried to break into writing online –they go on to say how lucky you are they’re here to offer you better than those heinous “low rates” they refer to. Lucky, lucky you.
Decent pay — once I saw the rate and stopped laughing hysterically, I wondered exactly who these people are to think that $5 — well below minimum wage — is decent pay. Decent for whom? Those non-US residents you’ve already rejected?
Better than an office, and you don’t have to wear pants — Besides, you won’t be able to afford pants, so there’s that. But better than an office? In what way? Oh wait, I get it. Better for them because they don’t have to pay you minimum wage or even benefits. Hell, they don’t have to pay an electricity bill — you can use your own. Woo! That’s soooo much better!
Experience. If you’re a good writer and between jobs… Yes, because every writer who has built a solid career and is currently without a project is going to jump at the chance to earn $5. Clearly, they were about to make the case that they’d be giving you that much-ballyhooed “exposure” we’ve all hurled over.
Weekly payments….automagically — Please, just stop. Getting paid $5 every Thursday? I can make more money taking coupons to the grocery store. And the “automagically” is just stupid.
We have weekly quotas… Wait. Didn’t they just say at the outset this wasn’t one of those content farms? Well, at least we know they aren’t going to be picky, for their marketing copy is clearly lacking. A lot.
Work that’s fun….jibber jabber. I just fended off the urge to hurl. What exactly does Reddit have to do with anything? My suspicion is you’ll be expected to market your writing, too. For the same $5. Wow. What generous bastards.
There’s so, so much more wrong with this, but it’s too depressing/funny to go into. Instead, let’s look at just one option that’s infinitely better:
– Articles on our blog
– Ghost written articles for our blog or for guest posts
– Research and compiling data sets for info graphics
The sort of topics you can be expected to write about include:
How to articles (how to clean and maintain stainless steel, how to build a french cleat wall tool chest)
Summary articles (history of woodworking business failures)
Editorial articles (the pros and cons of requiring skin stop technology on table saws)
Meta reviews (the best content on the table saw safety litigation)
You must be a native english speaker with great communication skills, and be willing to do spend the time doing any necessary research. I may also provide content outlines for you to build from.
We’re willing to pay for quality as well. $150+ for articles, $250+ for tasks that require a bit more effort (e.g. compiling a dataset for an infographic). Actual compensation dependent on your demonstrable experience and knowledge in the field.
We’re expecting articles of ~1000 words with relevant quotes and creative commons images included.
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