What’s on the iPod: White as Snow by U2
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Busy week made busier because I’m not working today. We’re heading north to the Boston area to attend my mother-in-law’s memorial service. I did, however, get plenty done this week — more than I imagined or hoped.
It wasn’t a totally frustration-free week, but you can’t expect the world not to turn without bumping in to a little stupidity, can you? Since it’s Friday and I’m blowing off the day, I thought I’d end the week with a list of pesky little things that can make you pause, for better or for worse. Here are this week’s top contenders in the irksome category:
The United States of Bacon. Not only do I not need a television “show” dedicated to a breakfast food, imagine how pissed I was when I found out it wasn’t about Kevin.
Invitations that aren’t really invitations. Honestly, Grammarly people. Even if I were heading to San Francisco in the immediate future, I doubt you’d be all that excited to have me and the thousands of other writers you’ve written to this week actually show up for that cup of coffee you offered. Especially if we show up on the same day….
Settling for the status quo. Writers (and anyone else) who do this drive me nuts. They’re usually the first ones to complain when the money dries up. Get off your arse and work that much harder to make your dream a reality.
Demand Media. You know why. Don’t get me started.
Allergy season. I can’t tell if I’m still getting over a cold or starting on allergies. Sheesh.
SEO overload. It’s painful to see some of the blatant attempts to “write in” SEO key phrases. Please. Just write good content. And stop reading those quick-and-dirty SEO guides. They’re doing you wrong.
Driving while texting or talking on a cell phone. How stupid can you be? I’ve been nearly hit quite a few times by people blowing through stoplights because they’re busy talking or texting. News flash — you are not that important. No one needs you that badly. And hey, it wasn’t that long ago when no one could make a call unless they were at home by the phone, so shut up and drive.
Truck ad announcers with ridiculously deep voices. Who decided that a man whose voice sounds like six feet of dirt shifting under gravel is “manly”? I wasn’t asked. He makes me want to hand him a throat lozenge.
The phrase “value proposition.” It sounds ridiculous. It’s a statement of why a customer should buy something from you. Why not just list benefits? Those sound much less stupid. It’s the latest corporate buzz word. I get it. But I hate buzz words because a lot of times, like in this instance, they speak at your customer instead of to your customer.
Inattention. Do you know who makes me happy? That handful of people I correspond with who actually read the entire email or take two seconds to remind themselves what we’re discussing before they respond. I’ve had too many “What are you talking abouts” confusion and “Oh my God what’s happened” freakouts that come at the end of a lengthy email conversation. Pay attention or read backwards until we’re back on the same page, please. Saves us all a lot of stress.
What bugs you?
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