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4 Ways to Set Writerly Boundaries

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I thought I’d have a nicely paced week, have time to research for an article, take time to work on a larger project, and get to some personal projects. That was Monday at 9 am. By 11 am, I was deep in the middle of a need-it-this-week set of projects. Normally, I wouldn’t panic, but I’m not in on Friday. In fact, I’ll be on vacation.

Shift into high gear.

Despite an upcoming vacation and the client’s extremely tight deadline, I was able to get an extra day to complete everything. I may not need it, but I asked for it just to be safe. Better to let them know up front than beg for it at the eleventh hour.

It’s all part of setting professional boundaries. Writers, we’re not so good at that, are we? It’s partly fear of not getting the gig, partly fear that we’ll have to confront someone, partly fear that we don’t really know how to say “no” effectively.

So how do you set your writerly boundaries? Here’s how I set mine:

Insert reality. I could have not said anything, canceled my vacation (again), and worked through the late nights to get things done. Realistically? I can’t handle that. I need a vacation. My brain gives up at 4 pm. I can’t physically, emotionally, or realistically overextend any more than I already am.

Identify your non-negotiable items. Maybe you won’t work for less than $100 an hour, or maybe you won’t work for people who expect on-site visits every two weeks. Whatever is a deal-breaker for you, write it down. Right next to it, map out your most appropriate response when these situations are facing you.

Make rules for yourself. It’s easy to say “I won’t work weekends” but much harder to enforce if your favorite writing client hadn’t just called with a need-it-now request. It’s okay to say “I can’t” if you have that rule for everyone. Make some sensible rules, like how long each day you’ll work before breaking or quitting for the day. These are your company policies. Don’t break them unless there’s a very, very good reason.

Remember you’re respecting yourself. If only we writers remembered that more often, we’d have less trouble stating what we need or what we can/cannot do. If it doesn’t make you happy or it adds too much stress to your life, don’t do it.

Writers, how do you set boundaries? What keeps you on track and in a balanced place? 
Do you ever deviate from those boundaries? If so, under what circumstances?

9 responses to “4 Ways to Set Writerly Boundaries”

  1. Kimberly Ben Avatar

    A big 'YES' to all of these points, Lori! Boundaries are a must for freelancers. Not establishing them just sets you up for frustration, resentment, burnout, etc.

    I know that at the end of the day, it's up to me to make sure I protect my own best interests. Yes, I've deviated from my boundaries before and I've almost always regretted it.

    Some people have a hard time telling people 'no.' A good writer friend suggested telling clients "that's my business policy" when they start making unreasonable requests. Clients can either accept it or walk. Very cut and dry.

  2. Lori Avatar

    Love that line, Kim! Definitely going to use it.

  3. Paula Avatar

    Yes, even I have my boundaries. Its the one time not having a smart phone helps. I may work from home, but the minute I turn the computer off for the day I'm done. Occasionally that sets publicists into a panic, since they're used to people constantly checking their messages, but I'm not on salary like they are. I'll answer them when I'm back "in the office" the next business day.

  4. Sharon Hurley Hall Avatar

    Yes, love that – it's important to set boundaries. I've had an issue recently with a client wanting me to work unsocial hours to meet her schedule. I had to tell her I wouldn't do it. She's gone a bit quiet since then, but it's a risk I was happy to take.

  5. Cathy Miller Avatar

    Great comeback. I am going to have to steal a few. 😉 I especially like the idea of creating a response to the non-negotiable.

    I don' work weekends. Have I made exceptions? Sure, but on my terms, and it is not something I share. Typically, if I do work a weekend, I take time off the following week. Hey, why freelance if you cannot take care of yourself?

    I had one client who tried to convince me that her passion should be my passion. Translation – do work for free. My response was I was sorry my business needs were not in sync with her current needs.

  6. Devon Ellington Avatar

    Boundaries are great. However, if an opportunity comes up — I'm not talking a typical corporate one, but one of those amazing, dream job ones, one that's above what you're doing now, but in line with your plans for the future, you also have to be willing to step up and do whatever it takes to get it done, especially if there's big money on the table.

    If you just shrug and say "no" because you're not willing to give up a few hours on a weekend for a shot at what you say is your dream job, then you don't really want it.

    The regular workaday assignments have strong boundaries, but when an amazing opportunity falls into my lap, I go for it (IF it's something I want — if there are red flags, I'll pass).

    Especially in things like fiction or film, many of these opportunities are once and done. You don't get a second chance, and something "like" them doesn't come again. You get ONE shot. If you want it, you have to go for it.

    Everyone once in awhile, the universe gives you a chance at something, and you can choose to go for it and get to the next level, or stay where you are.

  7. Lori Avatar

    Agreed, Devon. There are new opportunities that may require breaking those boundaries. The trick is knowing when it's a true opportunity versus someone just expecting you to jump when they bark.

    "If you just shrug and say "no" because you're not willing to give up a few hours on a weekend for a shot at what you say is your dream job, then you don't really want it."

    That's exactly right.

  8. Dava Avatar

    A very early client would call me at 11pm sometimes. It took months to realize it wasn't worth it! But, I learned the lesson and have respected my own boundaries since then!

  9. Lori Avatar

    Dava, are you kidding? That's NUTS! That's entirely too late. They'd have caught me sleeping. No way I'd answer that!

    Reminds me of a client I had who expected me to explain why I was going on vacation, and expected me to be available for a conference call mid-week (which he never did call me on). And he would send scathing emails at 12:30 AM and expect responses. Another client (a resume client) was pissed because I wasn't using IM at 11:30 at night.

    Where do these people come from?

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