Question: When is it ever acceptable to be nasty to another person?
Answer: Never.
Another question: When do you have to accept nastiness from a client or a writer?
Answer: Never.
We’ve all run into one or two people in our lives who just can’t be nice when facing some sort of roadblock or disagreement. When it’s someone you’re working with, it can be brutal. And it’s not just the stray client or two. I’ve seen some writers lashing out, in public no less, at their clients with some erroneous notion that because they’re right, they’re justified in calling names. Uh, no. You’re not. (And before you ask if it was you, no. It’s no one who’s ever posted here, in my experience. Just random web surfing observations.)
A while ago I encountered a client who seemed great – until the last round of edits. If you tell me you don’t like something or you question my methods, I can respond because that’s something I can fix. But if like this particular client, you call my character into question, I’m going to drop you. If a client (or a writer, for those of you clients reading) ever gets into a “you’re clueless” type of verbal or written tussle with you, get out. There’s no way a person who can’t treat you with common professional courtesy and basic human decency will ever be worth the fees you’d collect (or the project you need to complete or the fees to dump them, clients). I won’t embarrass the client by saying what he said to me, but let’s just say his words questioned my ability to form a coherent sentence. The trigger for him? One word. Seriously. A nine-line tirade questioning my education level, my work habits, and my abilities, all over one word.
I didn’t tell this client what I really thought of his character because for me, this was business. His business style, however, was gawd-awful, and that did matter to me. But again, my focus was on getting the job done, not getting into verbal or written spats defending my honor. See, people who belittle over something so trivial don’t really belong in my universe. Defending against senseless attacks is a waste of energy and it’s pointless putting time into a toxic relationship. No thank you.
I finished that job as we were at the tail end when the thrashing came. One word changed his demeanor and altered forever my opinion of him as a person I could, or would, work with. I said goodbye when the project and invoice were sent to him. I didn’t give him reasons. I behaved as I’d hoped he would – like a professional. A thank you and good luck.
How do you deal with difficult people?
10 responses to “Do You Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth?”
I draw boundaries, stick to them, and cut out the deadwood of pain in the butt clients as soon as possible.
Life’s too short to waste on a—. No matter how much they pay.
Yeah, I’ve dropped a few clients over situations like these. One situation that sticks out was when I used the phrase “can not have had any prior convictions” when describing the eligibility requirements for a visa. He informed me that this phrase was incorrect. This was 7 words out of a 15-page document. I apologized, fixed it, and moved on, but he wouldn’t let it go. I did get another assignment, but he told me he needed me to be “more accurate,” that his customers judged him on the quality of his site, and on…and on. I left shortly after. Seriously, I probably wrote at least 15-20 thousand words for this client (at a fairly shitty rate I might add), and his reaction just seemed a little excessive. When I told him I would be moving on, he said in his return email that he was “shocked by my unprofessionalism.” This was one of my first clients. Oddly, I’ve found that my earlier ones, who paid very little, were the ones who felt like they could demand work over the weekend and go nuts over small errors.
I dropped one crazy client after our entire relationship erupted into drama. First she disappeared for over a month when a payment was due. Suddenly, when I sent an email threatening to inform the parent company that they were affiliated with that they were not paying their contractors, she resurfaced and said they had been “on vacation.” Yeah, whatever.
We were in the middle of a long-term project, so I insisted on being paid the rest of the balance in full, in advance, if they wanted me to finish the project. They did, so I finished it, but then she didn’t like what I turned in — complained that it wasn’t what they’d wanted (even though I followed the instructions they’d given to the letter). I explained that the two revisions the project terms provided were REVISIONS, not complete and total rewrites because they changed their minds, and refused to work with them anymore. She sent several venomous emails threatening to turn me in (for what?) if I didn’t continue to work with her. I responded at first with a, “I’m sorry, but I cannot work with someone who treats me with blatant disrespect,” and after that I just ignored her.
I don’t remember many specific indidents of bad behavior with clients (maybe I’m blocking them out!), though I’ve had my share with sources. That’s another story, of course.
I do remember that one editor at a trade I work with a lot was verrrry prickly when we first started working together. There were moments when we were both in that grit-your-teeth-while-being professional tone. She was being pissy with me, and I was biting my tongue to not be pissy back. (Not sure I always succeeded.)
I tolerated the tension because I didn’t want to taint my reputation with all the eds there. Then, suddenly, the tension bubble burst, and we’re now friends (not close, but pleasantly comfortable with each other at group events).
I know, it’s wierd!
Krista, anyone who pays you crap and can’t accept that you’re moving on (called you unprofessional? For what? Expecting to be PAID like a professional?) isn’t worth the time worrying about them.
I’m about to weed a rather large piece of dead wood out of my life, Devon. You know the circumstances, so once the market lifts, I’m gone.
Katharine, I didn’t have to read anything more than “venomous emails” to know your former client wasn’t being a professional about your arrangement. Good for you for not continuing the nonsense.
I’m all for asserting yourself to get what’s owed, but I’m against sticking my hand back into the flame when it’s clear they’re just waiting to burn you.
Gabriella, I’m so glad you were able to work that out! Sometimes you just need to get back on the same page. Since you two were basically stuck with each other, it’s good that things came out and got resolved. 🙂
Krista, honestly, I think your sentence was fine. That’s just one strange dude. 🙂
@ Lori – I thought it was fine too. His reasoning why it was wrong was because he googled “can not have had” and didn’t get any direct hits.
Lori, I knew when I started having problems getting payment that the most I’d do was finish the project. The unprofessional emails only confirmed that I’d done the right thing.
THAT was his test? Are you serious? So, Google is his grammar check? Oh my lord, have we come that far down into the sewer?
Katharine, I agree. If you’re near the end, get it over with and sue for payment if it comes to that. It’s amazing – if we ask for payment for work completed, some clients get so upset and stall! Yet if they didn’t pay their doctor bills, they’d be in collection within a few months. Then again, maybe they have troubles paying ALL their bills.
he root node of the hierarchy requests that its child nodes draw themselves — in turn, each view group node is responsible for calling upon each of its own child views to draw themselves. The children may request a size and location within the parent, but the parent object has the final decision on where how big each child can be. Android parses the elements of your layout in-order (from the top of the hierarchy tree), instantiating the Views and adding them to their parent(s).Businesses use blackberrry apps development for advertising purpose in the modern business environment at global level. A mobile software platform and OS based on the Linux kernel, Android apps development allows developers to create code that software development company can control mobile devices via Google-enabled Java libraries. Our team of iPhone apps development has deep knowledge of build application with iPhone SDK with excellent understanding of iPhone OS inner architecture. Our software outsourcing company works on behalf of partner for their clients it outsourcing services