Ah, December. A time in which you’re either refreshing your email constantly looking for client work or so busy you forget to wrap presents. Or buy them.<\/p>\n

No matter what camp you’re in this year, let’s start December with some fun facts. Freelance tells, let’s call them. Observations from some of the shit that’s been floating around the internet and my social media inboxes. Please feel free to share your observations, too.<\/p>\n

We can tell you’re not a writer.<\/h3>\n

A message to my LinkedIn page revealed\u00a0so much<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0<\/em>in just two words. The person had forwarded an email from someone named “stan” who appeared to be asking for a mentor or a coach. Yet the person who sent it, for some reason, wrote this:<\/p>\n

I RIGHT<\/h4>\n

No. No you don’t. Next!<\/p>\n

There is such a thing as job security.<\/h3>\n

No, video editing is not “chopping video up into smaller chunks” (thank you for this one, Devon). “Copyrighting” is not the same as “copywriting” (and how many would you guess have applied for jobs that ask for copyrighting skills?).\u00a0 And it isn’t tough to look up what a CV is when the client asks for one. And yet invariably, the question comes up on social media sites.<\/p>\n

Here’s how you lost the job.<\/h3>\n

The poster: “We’re hiring a freelancer to develop online content for our automotive industry publication. DM with two relevant samples.”
\nThe response: “I’m available. Ping me.”<\/p>\n

News flash<\/em> — That writer is not getting that gig. If you don’t know why, go back and reread the requirements. They’re right there.<\/p>\n

Your inexperience is showing.<\/h3>\n

“Which is better: Upwork or Fiverr? Looking to find more work.”<\/p>\n

Passive marketing begets passive pay rates. Period. Besides, all your hard work “vetting” between these sites speaks volumes to those looking to hire professional, experienced writers.<\/p>\n

Discontent is not<\/em> a job requirement.<\/h3>\n

“Freelancing is dead. I can’t get anyone to pay more than 10 cents a word. How does anyone expect me to survive on these job sites?”<\/p>\n

Answer: They don’t. They expect writers to work for literal dimes per word so they can meet their goals. They don’t give a single damn about the writer’s needs because writers passively marketing are their bread and butter.<\/p>\n

Oh, and that writer just tipped off another group of would-be clients that they’re not a serious professional by griping online about it.<\/p>\n

The hiring person really does<\/em> know what they want, you know?<\/h3>\n

The post: “We are looking for a writer with 5 years of expertise in metallurgy. Must have experience in materials technology and powder metallurgy.”
\nThe response: “It’s not fair that you want only experienced writers. I can write about anything!”<\/p>\n

For all writers who ever responded like this or thought about it, I pose this question: Did you ever hire a retail clerk to put a roof on your house? How about letting your dentist perform your thyroidectomy? Want a teacher to set your kid’s broken leg? No? That’s why this hiring person wants someone who understands what they’re writing about. While you may be able to write about anything, you’re not going to write well<\/strong><\/em> and convincingly<\/strong><\/em> on this topic without understanding the industry.<\/p>\n

Burning bridges means some writer somewhere is about to be stranded.<\/h3>\n

“You didn’t hire me. Here’s how you f*cked up at your job by not doing so ….”<\/p>\n

Because everyone who has ever turned down someone for employment now is never<\/strong><\/em> going to reconsider that same person for a future position, right? That client who said no today is not the same one who will have a bigger budget in three years and come looking for freelancers, right? They’re not a client who speaks to others in the industry who may indeed be looking for a writer with just that person’s experience, right? Wrong<\/strong>. But one thing is obvious: They won’t be knocking on your door if you sent them that response. Worse, if it’s public, they’ll be sure to remember you because on the internet, things stick around forever.<\/p>\n

Writers, what are some of the worst f-ups you’ve come across?<\/em><\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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