Worthy Tip: Take This Job, Not That One

What’s on the iPod: Laundry Room by The Avett Brothers

There’s one good thing about shoveling snow – it’s great cardio and muscle work. I’ve found if you have enough Aleve, you can pretty much shovel your way from one side of town to the other. Not that I want to or intend to – ever – but those anti-inflammatories are worth the price.

We got our monk home. He flew in early yesterday, then took a train to the station ten minutes from our house. The train was an hour late (who cleans the tracks and how, I wonder?), but he arrived just as I started my shoveling down the driveway. He loved seeing the snow (not much of that in Haiti where he’s stationed or Bali where he’s from). I have to agree – it really is breathtaking. And if you’re shoveling it, it’s definitely breathtaking, but in a different way.

So let’s revisit ways in which you can improve your earnings. Let’s start with this ad, which I found on Craig’s List:

PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE POSTING BEFORE REPLYING, SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY! IF THE PARAMETERS OF THIS POSTING DO NOT INTEREST YOU, PLEASE DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME OR MINE BY REPLYING. Article writing company is looking to add one or two contract writers for steady work. You will be writing for an article marketing company. In general, articles are very easy to write and should not take you very long. You can expect to write anywhere from 10-25 articles a day, depending upon your speed and experiences. Minimum pay for articles is $.01 per word. You MUST reside in the United States and New Jersey and Pennsylvania writers will be given preference. You must also be able to provide proof of residency in the United States along with signing off on a waiver that it is your responsibility to report taxes and also that all articles are property of company once they are completed. This is a 1099 position. If interested, please reply and a sample work order will be sent out for completion. It is imperative that you follow the work orders instructions completely or you will not be considered for the position.

This is a great opportunity for a student that is looking for extra work or a stay-at-home mom who is looking to earn some extra cash during down times. Please realize that this is a deadline based business and if you miss a deadline for your articles, you will no longer receive work. Articles are not hard to write, if you can follow direction and have good command of the English language, you should be able to do this. However, if you cannot type at least 60+ words a minute, I would suggest that you do not reply as you will not be able to write the articles quick enough to make it worth your while. Writers receive work orders in the morning every Monday through Friday to be returned by 10:00pm that night.

For the newbies, let me go over the myriad of things wrong with this particular posting. First, anyone who has to put a capped disclaimer at the top is trying to ward of tons of complaints. Red flag #1, for why would any writer complain unless the job sucks?

Second, any time an ad states something as insulting as “…articles are very easy to write and should not take you very long” deserves a number of complaints. The assumption – writing is easy and you have no right bitching if it takes you longer because hey, we think it’s easy. Think about it – if it’s that easy, why are they asking for help? Because it’s not. Unless they expect you to plagiarize, in which case they’re even bigger fools. Red flag #2.

Third, a proof of residency requirement? For a writing job? That means it’s going to be paying so low (and it is) that it will attract foreigners. Red flag #3.

Fourth, the signing of a waiver stating you know it’s a 1099-based contractor job? Someone here is covering their arses unnecessarily. In all my years freelancing, I’ve never been asked to sign such a thing – only send over the standard W9 form. Control freaks? Red flag #4.

Fifth, there’s that comparison. “A great opportunity for students and stay-at-home moms.” And you wonder why I tell you to stop equating your mommy status with your job? Because wingnuts like this now think all writers are bored mommies with nothing better to do than jump through hoops. Also, lumping students and moms in the same category as professional writers in reprehensible and insulting. Red flag #5.

Sixth, the abysmal grammar in this entire ad has me wondering who exactly is in charge of deciding what articles are acceptable? Based on what? Certainly not personal knowledge of proper sentence structure and grammar. Red flag #6.

Seventh, there are way too many “musts” and too many negative comments to people these clowns don’t even know. Respect must be there at the outset. Clearly, it isn’t. Why? Because these people aren’t paying a respectable wage, so they’re attracting writer wanna-bes and the clueless masses. Red flag #7.

And a penny a word for articles? HUGE red flag #8.

Instead, look for ads that don’t insult you before you meet them. Try something like this:

GRIT is a nationally distributed bi-monthly magazine with a circulation of approximately 150,000 through subscriptions and newsstand distribution. GRIT celebrates the intergenerational bonds among those who live on the land with spirit and style – a legacy of self-sufficiency, audacious ingenuity and pragmatic problem solving that gave this country its backbone and continues to shape its unique character….

Articles are assigned; no editorial calendar is published… GRIT purchases shared rights, which grants the publisher the right to publish or republish the work in any form in any country, at any time. The author agrees not to publish the work in any other media for a period ending one year after the date of the issue in which the work initially appears. After this period, the author retains the right to republish the work in any form in any country at any time, as well.

Features
GRIT publishes feature-length articles on topics of interest to those living in rural areas, on farms or ranches, or those interested in the rural lifestyle. Articles will be from 800 to 1,500 words…. Departments and columns are generally 500 to 1,500 words. GRIT Gazette items are 350 to 700 words. Read more.

(My note: GRIT pays 35 cents/word for features and department articles.)

Even 35 cents a word is low, but if you’re trying to dig your way out of the $4-an-article rut, it’s an exponential improvement. Let’s do the math – consider you’re able to write two articles an hour for the first client at a penny a word. Let’s just make it easy and assume the articles total 700 words. That’s $7. Seven bucks.

Now let’s write the same amount for GRIT. Let’s assume you’ll be doing some research, so you may spend two hours on this one article. Because you’re getting 35 cents a word, your check will be for $245. Mind you, at that rate you can take three hours – hell, even four hours – to write the story. In fact, you’d have to write 35 articles for the first client in order to make that kind of money. And if you were able to write 35 articles in four hours, I’d say they’re not going to be top-quality articles. Just a hunch.

What job do you have right now that you could improve on? What was the worst job you had and how did you replace it?