What’s on the iPod: Girls Lie Too by Terri Clark
Last week was a bit of a marathon. I managed a lot of little things that add up to big projects. Two big projects will provide ongoing revenue streams. Plus I worked on article interviews. This week I get to put the story together, which will be fun. And I’m putting together two larger projects that could be ongoing.
A while ago I was listening to a friend relay how a job interview went. Since I’ve been on a ton of interviews and have studied how to conduct yourself, I gave him some tips. I told him above all else, keep it positive. So imagine my surprise when he said he’d confided in the hiring manager just how a coworker had stabbed him in the back.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want that kind of talk from someone interviewing for a management role. Managers need to be above that – or at least appear to be above that during the interview. My friend had a rocky time at his last job, and he made the mistake of sharing that. The only way he could fix it is by then following up with how he handled the situation himself. But he didn’t. And no, he didn’t get the job. Instead, he managed to find a lateral position in another company.
We are the managers, owners, and employees of our businesses. We have to keep up a professional demeanor, even when – no especially when – clients are being extremely difficult. If you slip into blame, you lose your credibility.
Surefire ways of shooting your own foot:
Engaging in verbal warfare. If you win the argument, you still lose. In fact, I don’t know any time when arguing, name-calling, or shouting at someone nets you what you want unless you’re five and you have indulgent parents.
Being negative. The client just called you at 5:30 pm on a Friday. The project, he says, needs to be done by Monday. If you tell him he’s out of his mind, he’ll also be out of your orbit. Forever. Instead, explain that your weekend is already spoken for, but you’re happy to help him the following week. If he can’t be pleased, that’s one thing. If you’ve treated him like an idiot (even rightly so), you’re the one who’s left the bad impression.
Talking smack about other clients. It’s tempting, isn’t it? You’ve established a close relationship with a client, and in the interest of sharing, she tells you what a pain a particular client of hers is. Don’t do it. Don’t tell your related bad-client story. The minute something goes wrong on the project and you have to assert your boundaries, she’s going to remember how you bad-mouthed another client. You’ll brand yourself as difficult even if you’re not.
Not taking things seriously enough. I’m one to approach my clients, friends, and family in a friendly, easygoing manner. However, if my client complains that something isn’t right, my tone changes to concern and brainstorming for a remedy. If I said, “Oh, no problem. I can fix that in seconds” – even if it’s true – your client will think you’re not committed enough to the project. Make sure your demeanor matches the situation. If your client is flipping angry or upset, don’t make light.
Appearing anything but professional. That means no emailed dirty jokes, no curse words, no whining, and certainly no complaining. I remember one PR person who was so nice – then she sent me a racy joke. Worse, I didn’t know she was female at first (one of those names that could go either way). It tarnished her image instantly, and I’ve not gone back to her when I’ve needed expert interviews.
How have you seen people acting unprofessionally?
6 responses to “Shooting Your Own Foot”
You have a personal life and a professional life. The two really shouldn't cross. Having a professional business branded as the Writing Mother of Three makes me not want to take you seriously. A personal blog or something where you're just shooting the breeze with friends is one thing, but your business?
Wendy, you've hit one of my biggest peeves. You are a writer. You are a mom. They are not combined in real life – why combine them in your title?
I can think of two examples, one very recent, the other was maybe a year ago. In both cases, I was fairly new to the magazines while the interview sources had known the publishers for years.
The woman from a year ago stunned me by bad-mouthing the publisher and then trying to pass it off as a joke when she didn't hear me joining in. She painted the publisher as a self-absorbed narcissist who succeeded by strong-arming others into doing things his way. Yet she was the one who demanded to see the article before I turned it in; when I refused she claimed "everyone else" does it that way. I didn't bend – that's when I realized she'd probably say the same things about me, since I didn't bow to her ridiculous demands.
More recently, I told a potential source the topic of the article, she scoffed and said she didn't see how they stayed in business re-hashing the same things all the time. Later, she said she used to work for the publisher – perhaps I was "re-hashing" one of her old stories?
I turned both situations around and ended up with good quotes. But will I ever willingly call on one of them as an expert? Not if I can help it.
Avoid political rants. Period. I don't care if you're 100% in agreement with my beliefs – if someone disagrees with you even a little, it can cause bad feelings in the relationship. If you're going to talk politics at all, it must be done with the utmost respect with words like "I'm concerned about …" or "I don't think that's a good choice because …"
[hijack]
Wendy, did you get the email I sent you yesterday?
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Paula, it never sounds good to listen to, does it? Although, I did have a hilarious exchange with another writer once. We had just moved on to freelancing, and as we sent our introductory emails to each other, it was all cordial and positive. Then at one point I noted how quickly her last company had gone out of business and she said, "Oh hell, I hated working for them." We had a good laugh and only then did we share war stories. When we met in person, we laughed even more about the way we both danced around the obvious – we each didn't like our former employers.
Eileen, great one. I loathe political discussions of any sort. Too volatile. And honestly, it has no place in a business discussion unless I'm working for a politician (even she kept it politically neutral) or the government.
There has only been ONE occasion in which I gave a client both barrels. He's a client who’s overseas, so our main method of communication is chat. Further complicating matters, his English is shaky at best. He got very short tempered when I misunderstood some of his instructions.
Rather than trying to explain in different terms, he would REPEAT HIMSELF IN ALL CAPS. (Like the math teacher repeating himself louder, as if your problem was deafness rather than lack of comprehension.)
Finally, I responded to him very bluntly: “I understand that you are frustrated. I am too. I am not stupid, and do not respond well to being treated like an idiot. Please treat me with respect and you will get much better results.”
It worked like a champ. I earned his respect by standing up for myself in addition to doing good work for him, and the relationship has been excellent (and very lucrative) ever since.
Lori, you're too nice to work for a politician!