How to Fail at Freelance Writing

If you’ve been freelancing for a while, you’ve seen a lot. I’d bet you’ve seen something like what Randy Hecht shares with us today.

Randy is the moderator of the popular LinkedIn forum LinkEds & Writers, which has a large population of working freelance editors and writers — the site’s target audience. As you might imagine, it draws plenty of people wanting to write, writing for free, or aspiring to be novelists — not the site’s target audience.

Randy vets the group carefully to make sure that its members are working freelancers and that the conversations revolve around the issues working freelancers encounter. She makes sure the posts aren’t promotional or link bait that takes people from the forum. (And yes, she gets plenty of both because, as we’ve all seen, there are plenty of people who don’t think the rules really matter.)

Because Randy is the visible owner of the site, she gets a lot of mail. A lot of irrelevant, promotional mail. Therefore, it didn’t surprise me when Randy sent a guest post over this week and said, “I went on a little 350-word rant on LinkedIn today, and here is your written permission to republish it on your blog if you want.”

Oh, I want. Because writers, this is exactly how to screw up at marketing. Here’s Randy’s rant:

Dear #writers and #aspiringwriters: Don’t make #marketing your services more difficult than it needs to be.

I received an InMail from a freelancer I don’t know who told me she could “transform [my] business with the power of words.” A cold contact from another freelancer sought to entice me with “an exciting opportunity to elevate your business with expertise in content writing.” Another urged me to hire him to create a video for my website’s landing page, which in fact has videos on each of its three landing pages (one each for English, Spanish, and German). That’s right: He proposed a revamp of a website he couldn’t be bothered to visit.

And I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve been asked if I hire freelance writters (yes, writters).

No one wants to be on the receiving end of marketing messages like these.

The senders don’t have the first clue what I do and can’t articulate their own value propositions.

They toss out empty phrases like “take your business to the next level” but haven’t even bothered to take account of what I write about or whether their experience aligns with the subject matter I cover or the sectors I serve. And I don’t even get the impression that they really care about those things–they’ve just identified me as a potential source of income.

If you’re a freelance writer in need of more assignments, do your homework before you contact prospects. Target those who work in areas in which you have experience and expertise. Do not tell them you can “write about anything,” as if anyone could parachute in and do the work they’ve built their reputations doing.

It’s not your prospects’ job to look at your profile and figure out what you could do for them, especially when you’ve given no indication that you can do anything for them. Please, before you ask strangers to hire you, make sure you know how they’d benefit by doing so, in terms specific to their businesses. And then tell them. That’s what makes marketing effective rather than an exercise in running around in circles.

There’s a lot going on here. First, to Randy’s point — these are not effective marketing methods and messaging. The messaging sounds cliched, boring, and unimaginative.

Another point: She’s a writer herself. She doesn’t hire “writters” which I can only assume are a cross between a writer and roadkill (critter).

Yet another point: These messages are coming from people who have shown their utter lack of any type of vetting or research. Randy is a high-level business and trade writer who works with international companies on high-profile projects. She’s not going to hire a “writter” to help out. Nor are you, I’d wager.

The underlying problem with all of these messages she’s received hits my biggest peeve — writers begging for scraps of work from other writers. Let me be more specific — strangers begging for scraps of work from writers who have worked their asses off to A) find the client, B) negotiate with and go under contract with the client, and C) nurture the relationship, learn the client’s business and messaging, and deliver excellence.

If you think it’s selfish of another writer to not share work, ask yourself this:

Would you? Would you trust that valuable client connection to a stranger?

Hell no you wouldn’t.

So let’s stop trying to beg work or money from our colleagues, particularly those we don’t know.

Let’s work instead on how to fix the sucky marketing attempts.

Know your audience.

If any of these writers had bothered to do a quick scan of Randy’s profile or website, they’d have saved themselves the trouble of reaching out. Marketing to another writer is like trying to sell your car back to yourself. Writers are not your go-to source of work. Clients are. Clients are not writers. Unless they post a job listing, that is. But generally, you’re barking up the wrong tree.

Look instead for a client who has a need for ongoing messaging, articles, or project help. The goal is a long-term relationship, not a one-off, gee-let-me-feed-off-your-success connection.

Put some effort into it. Please.

For the love of all that is written, don’t use canned phrases or marketing-speak. It’s boring and it gets your emails ignored. Instead, start a conversation. Introduce yourself. Give a small bio. Don’t sell — that’s like asking someone to marry you on the first date. Instead, mention a social media post you saw or an article you read that they were part of. Make it personal. The goal is to build a bridge.

If you feel you must sell on first contact, be brief, to the point, and show why that person needs your skills. Not that boring crap like, “I’ve been freelancing for six years and my clients love me.” Who cares? Tell that client what you’ve worked on (without revealing client secrets) and how it could help them. “I write in the transportation space and have worked on several case studies and annual reports as well as sustainability initiatives for various national clients and associations.”  That tells your prospect that you can DO something, not that someone besides your mother loves you.

Details matter.

If English isn’t your primary language, you need to pay extra attention to what you’re putting out there. For the rest of us, Spell Check is easy to use. Really. Always double check any message you send out, particularly one that’s going directly to a potential client.

Oh sure, we’ve all screwed up, like the time not long ago I’d sent a query to a new editor and forgot the attachment I’d promised. A little self-deprecating humor fixed that and actually built a quick connection with the new contact. But if you’re saying things like, “I have over 5-years of experience in freelancing and has ghostwritten a book that sold out over fifty copies” (you read that right) or “Give me a pen and I’ll create a untraversed and anomalous way of vision” you are totally not getting a response. Not from a client. Maybe from a therapist?

Make it relevant.

If anyone has trouble understanding how to run a business, they can simply replace “writer” with something like “plumber.” Now the expectations are clearer, yes?

Every time you want to send out a marketing message or a social media post asking for work, pretend you’re a plumber. Ask yourself: What would the plumber do (WWTPD)?

A plumber wouldn’t beg for work from other plumbers. A plumber would put out marketing messages, send out flyers, contact former customers with special offers, exhibit at home shows ….

What that plumber isn’t doing is posting online. Are you seriously going to respond to something like:

I can repipe out your toilets like nobody’s business.
See why 19 customers love us on Yelp. Call today.

No. You’re not. Because there’s no reason to trust this plumber. Not yet. Same goes for you asking total strangers to just trust you without showing them why you’re a great fit with their needs.

Writers, what kinds of off-message marketing have you received?
What have you seen online that made you think, “Huh?”