3 Racist Assumptions to Remove from Your Writing Life

It’s been a little over a month since we’ve addressed racism in our writing. And it’s the conversation we need to keep having, even if we get it wrong or make a few mistakes along the way. The goal is to be better, and to promote better.

Three things that have been bugging me, in no particular order:

#1: When you’re talking with someone on the phone, how do you imagine them?

You know what I mean. You’re talking away to someone, and from their voice you get a certain impression. And later, when you see their LinkedIn profile photo, you realize just how off-base you were in that visual.

That goes for race, too. I’ve talked with people who have really ethnic names. I’ve talked with people who have very average names. In both cases, I’ve had no trouble or a ton of trouble understanding them. One woman — Sophie Jones, I’ll call her — was Spanish. I could barely understand her. Yet Hiep Nyugen, let’s call him, was clearly a native US speaker.

That doesn’t really matter. What matters is our perception of these people based on preconceived ideas.

For example, do you assume Brett Johnson is an expert, but Ravenjo Martin is not? Why? Because his name sounds, well, male? Because hers sounds frivolous?

I’ve spoken to hundreds of people over the years. One thing I’ve learned is you cannot assume anyone’s expertise or abilities based on their name. I’ve had plenty of Ravenjo-type names in front of me, attached to company owners or CEOs. And I’ve had lots of Brett Johnsons who have rattled on, demonstrating their lack of command of any topic. I’ve had men who rambled, women who hemmed and hawed. White men who prattled on, black women who owned the room. You just never know.

And that’s the point. Don’t assume you’ll ever know until you’re in the conversation.

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#2: Another thing that’s been bugging me — starting any sentence like so:

“Whether you’re black, brown, green, or …”

Or worse:

“Whether your black, brown, purple, Asian…”

For one thing, whatever follows that thought is NOT going to be true. You’re one race. You cannot possibly know what another race thinks.

But that’s not even the bigger issue here. It’s the equating of “black” and “brown” with nonsensical colors. Or even worse, bookending two ethnicities with nonsensical skin tones and sticking with that tired, demeaning “black, brown” to describe African Americans.

Be smart. Don’t try to guess what any ethnic group is going to agree with you on. You don’t know, you’ll not know, and you’ll look stupid trying to show that you know.

[bctt tweet=”What’s the most #racist sentence a #freelancer can use?” username=”LoriWidmer”]

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#3: I read an article recently that contained a sentence similar to this: “And ladies, be sure to check out the recipe section for more ways to help your man lower his cholesterol.”

Oh my GOD. The only thing missing is the race of the humans you’re referring to. But the assumptions — that the word “ladies” isn’t derogatory, that recipes are exactly what “ladies” are after, that “your man” is something we want to possess, that it’s on us to keep his fat ass healthy …. Okay, this one isn’t exactly racist, but do I hear the sound of knuckles dragging? Anything else that writer has to say is already stained. I can’t imagine how he (yes, it was a man, judging from the byline) would take on a topic on race or even alluding to race. God help us all.

#4: This one’s a bit of a bonus since the previous one was much more a sexist issue than anything.

Since we’re all about to comingle with relatives, how do you deal with that racist comment you just heard?

You know the one. The one that someone told as a “joke.” Or that completely false assumption that they spewed out between the mashed potatoes and dessert. How do you handle it?

Here’s how I’ve handled it:

(Racist remark)

My response: We don’t talk like that in our house.

That actually stopped it cold. However, that doesn’t always do it.

(Racist remark repeated)

Response: Excuse me, but are we still in grade school? That’s a really childish assumption.

(Racist remark escalated)

Response: Okay, now you’re just showing yourself to be a complete asshole. Stop it.

(Racist remark escalated some more)

Response: Kids! Grab your coats. We’re leaving.

Then leave. There is no holiday worth putting up with people who have no desire to behave. Return to your happy place. And if they’re at your house, hand them their coats, even if they’re in the middle of dinner, and thank them for stopping by. There is no room at any table for a racist.

And it’s toughest when it’s family. But it’s where the line must be drawn first.

Writers, where are you seeing racist or ridiculous behavior by humans these days?