Free Advice Friday: This Job, NOT That Job

Let’s just say that the seriousness that seems to settle in around September does not translate to all things.

Take job postings, for example.

Occasionally, I will look through places like Craig’s List job ads for this post. Not for potential work for myself, no no. I’ve not cruised a job board for that in eons. This week’s entry in the This Job Not That Job contest for worst possible job listing is proof of why.

There’s a disturbing trend I’m seeing these days, as are you. The “gigs” or “jobs” aren’t really either. Rather, they’re what I would call the sugar coating on a dark, dangerous side of job listings.

This one is proof that you need to start actively locating clients. It’s just safer.

Writing team needed

compensation: $225,000 annually divided among team

All female writing team needed. The domicile is fully air conditioned. Must be willing to fully act out risque scenes and adult situations in order to ensure the impact of script writing. Company has numerous screenplays in progress

Okay, did you stop at the Compensation and think “Lori! This is amazing!”? I’m pretty sure you didn’t, but let’s just take this line by line.

All female writing team needed.

Okay, why? Why “all female”? What does gender have to do with the job of writing?

Domicile is fully air conditioned.

Huh? What “domicile” are we talking about? Why not say “office”? Because there probably isn’t an office.

And if I wasn’t creeped out with the “all female” requirement, I sure am now.

Must be willing to fully act out risqué scenes and adult situations in order to ensure the impact of script writing.

Just. Hold it. So far, we’ve got all females, air conditioning (and I know what comes to mind for me when someone says the words “female” and “air conditioned” in the same paragraph, the pervs). Now this “employer” wants you to act out what you write. Or are you writing it? See, there’s no mention of writing duties. Just up there in the first sentence and the title, right? So what makes you think this is actually a writing job?

Certainly not the idea that they want to “ensure the impact of script writing.” Do they? Do they really?

Just. No.

—

Please, dear God. Don’t be enticed by the promise of a ton of money (and even if there are ten females on the “team” that’s still a pretty good promise). They’re not paying. Not for writing. Not for your safety.

If it sounds too good to be true, it is. It’s worse than you can imagine, usually. And with this one, I can imagine some pretty wild shit.

Here’s what to do instead of putting your life at risk:

FamilyFun

The magazine for families with children ages 3 to 12. Needs: information and inspiration parents need to create unforgettable family moments. Family cooking, vacations, parties, holidays, crafts, and learning.

Pays: $1.25/word

Look at that; good, wholesome work. No, it won’t pay $225K to your “team” but neither will that other one, frankly. And there’s no “acting out risqué and adult situations” or voyeurism involved.

I feel safer already.

 

Writers, what red flags do you look for in either job postings or in new client interactions?
Have you ever been in an uncomfortable situation with a prospective client? If so, how did you get yourself out of it?