7 Lousy Marketing Tactics (and how to fix them)

I’m in Ontario at the moment, enjoying the company of family. But I’ve dug into the archives and left something for you to ponder.

Marketing sins. We’ve all seen some pretty awful marketing tactics. We’ve also probably made our own mistakes. Like the writers who tout constantly their one success that everyone can do (and if it was a fluke, what am I paying for exactly?). Or the writers who aren’t writers but use writers to build their writing reputation (it’s seriously happening right now).

And yet, those aren’t the only marketing sins being committed. Here are a few that get under my skin:

Long sales pages. I don’t know where anyone got the idea that a sales page that goes on forever is A) something anyone wants to read, B) a good idea at all, or C) effective at anything other than boring the hell out of everyone who attempts to read it. No. No. And NO. We’re writers: our job is to be concise and clear. Present it and wrap it up, people. Please.

Thinly veiled sales pitches. The biggest complaint in that forum thread I’d read was the helpful advice directly coupled with a course or webinar costing hundreds. In one case, a poster commented that she’d seen an offer just under $1K. It’s not hard for intelligent people to draw a straight line from your helpfulness to Bullshitville. From what I’d read, these writers were not only not buying, but not thinking too highly of the person making the offer. Offer your audience substance. And don’t constantly sell to them. You’ll gain much more respect by simply being a trusted resource.

Not practicing what you preach. It’s not too difficult to see when your “instructor” hasn’t done the work they’re teaching in ages or, even worse, at all. Why would I take a course in magazine writing from someone who writes for blogs? Likewise taking a fiction writing course from someone who’s written only corporate stuff. Instead, look for the exact information you need, and really vet the person teaching you. Better yet, look for free content. It abounds online.

Dangling the fake carrot. It’s a fairly useless, and transparent, sales tactic to send out notices that your course is nearly sold out or that you have no seats left (or just two, which seems to be a common claim). Phony waiting lists or threats that you’re about to miss the boat may work once, but when you see it from the same people all the time….yea, it’s not true. Don’t engage in phony sales tactics. Instead, present your offer. Give incentives to buy. Leave the fearmongering out of it.

Always selling in every single interaction. Come on, give it a rest already. Don’t be that person no one can have an intelligent conversation with because you’re too busy trying to find the “angle” that will pull money from their pockets. I’ve seen it in comments left by some of the worst offenders. “Over on MY site, you’ll see I’ve written about this extensively” or “I was just saying this to someone in MY course, which still has some openings….” Most of us with brains have stopped listening. And forum owners are blocking you. Don’t be a one-note commenter. Instead, offer real advice. Be present and be engaged. That’s the best selling feature ever.

Incessantly patting yourself on the back. When was the last time the self-titled expert gave a shout-out to someone who isn’t an affiliate or isn’t going to further the expert’s career? If you pay attention to the way in which people talk or write, including linking to their own content instead of sharing the love, you’ll figure out who’s in it for themselves. People want you to solve their problems, not sing your own praises. Who cares if your plumber won six awards? You care if he or she can fix your plumbing. The same goes for writing. No one cares about your blog awards. They care about how you’re going to make them look good.

Promising wealth — at a price. It’s the old snake oil sales tactic: it’s so easy to do it, but you have to buy this in order to find out how easy it is. Look, there are gurus out there who really do know what they’re doing, and they’re working at it every day. Those are the people you want to buy from. Those who are constantly selling and promising? Look closely. What have they done lately? If you have no background, you have no business selling that product. Period. Not only will you lose credibility with your customers, you’ll lose major points with veteran writers who can see through your schtick.

Writers, what can you add to the list?