The Tuesday Freelancer: Handling Client Disagreements with Grace

Last week I headed in to the local Macy’s to spend a gift card. I found a few things that I took to the sales desk.

That’s when things got, well, weird.

The salesperson was a younger woman — mid-thirties perhaps — who was dressed in a really neat rocker-chick style, including awesome makeup. She had an accent. Eastern European, for sure.

I handed my gift card to her and she asked if I was using a Macy’s card. I asked if it was required to use the gift card, and she said no.

She proceeded to ring up my purchases. In the middle of it, she turned the computer screen to me for about 6 seconds, and said “It’s asking if you have a Macy’s card.”

I said yes.

Then I tried to pay with my debit card.

It didn’t work.

Oh no no! You have to use the Macy’s card! she said. I asked you and you told me you would. You know I did!

I don’t know how they do it in Eastern Europe, but challenging a customer over a misunderstanding, in this country, could get you fired. It was the You know you did that put me over the top.

I said But you did say I could use my debit card.

Here was where she would redeem herself, surely. She would say something like I apologize for the confusion, no. The computer is requiring your Macy’s card.

Ah, but redemption must not be her thing.

But you agreed to it! I showed you the screen and you said yes. I heard you, I’m not crazy.

The jury is out on that last statement.

I walked away with my purchases, mumbling under my breath some things I failed to launch on her. Yes, she was right factually. No, she wasn’t right in how she talked to me. Her store manager will get a note.

What did she do? She broke the rules on how customers should be treated.

Rules we ourselves break on occasion.

Don’t make it personal. Was I accusing her of lying or being crazy? No. I was confused about what I’d agreed to. The same goes for any interaction with our clients. Don’t exhale loudly on the phone, take on that “tone” that reveals how exasperated you are with them, or send emails that point the finger right back to them (even if they are wrong). Just apologize for the confusion, and talk it out. “I was confused and thought you wanted…”

Show some respect. That person is paying your wage. They may be completely wrong and acting like a lunatic. Take the high road always, even if you have to tell them you won’t be talked to in that manner. My salesperson showed respect until there was a misunderstanding. That’s exactly when respect is required.

Don’t use negative language. I heard you. I’m not crazy! made this woman sound, well, crazy. Steer away from words that attempt to pin people to a wall “You never said” or “I would never agree to that” or “You just can’t…” Inflammatory words — never, just, can’t — fuel the fire. Don’t take the blame, but instead shift the focus away from blame to how can we fix this thinking.

Stand up for your work. And in some cases, yourself. Only once that I can remember have I had to stand up for myself personally. It was two years ago, and the editor was accusing me (wrongly) of being unethical. You can tell me you don’t like something, that there are “numerous errors,” that I missed the mark, but you cannot accuse me of being unethical, particularly when the action in question isn’t. The same goes for those clients who will avoid payment by using the tired old excuse that you delivered something they didn’t ask for (and they tell you three months or more after you’ve hounded them for payment). Go ahead and say something like No, we had agreed in email to this. I’m happy to revise for you, but that’s a separate project and fee. And forward that email. In fact, get in the habit of sending an email with project terms after phone calls. I heard that this is what you want… is a great way to get your clients to amend before you write and acquiesce when you’ve done the work and they’re saying it’s not right.

Writers, how do you handle client disagreements?
What rule do you live by that’s saved you the hassle?