Writers Worth: Starting Out Fearless

Welcome to Writers Worth Month 2018!

Since 2008, we’ve been gathering here to share encouragement and kicks in the ass about taking ourselves seriously and accepting that our skills have value. We’ve shared it all — encouragement, our journeys, our roadblocks, you name it.

What we haven’t shared perhaps often enough: our fears.

That’s about to change.

For the 10th Anniversary of Writers Worth, we’re going to explore fear in just about every form; fear as a detractor, fear as a motivator, fear as an unnamed shadow that pops up now and then.  This year’s guest posts are all about fear. In fact, each writer who’s contributed this year was given the same assignment: how fear has played a role in their careers — from their perspective, whatever that may turn out to be.

And not one of them knew they were writing about the same thing.

Why? Because sometimes we’re influenced unconsciously. I wanted to remove any chance that someone’s ideas would be stifled or held back — not that anyone would consciously do that, but how many times have we heard writers say “I can’t write about that because it’s already been written about”?

So I guess this experiment is also to prove that no idea is off limits, even those that have been written about.

Plus, it felt like a good way to bond over the same thing.

Also new this year:

Mark your calendar now, set your reminders, and be sure to show up on May 8th at noon ET for the first of two Writers Worth Twitter chats. Bring your questions, your laments, your accomplishments, but mostly yourself to Twitter. (Be sure to use the #WWMchat hashtag throughout the conversation.) Paula Hendrickson (@P_Hendrickson) and I (@LoriWidmer) will be there to moderate and lead the conversation.

So welcome to the month that could transform your freelance writing business.

Welcome to the year you kick fear in its ass.

—

“Your future does not just happen to you; you create your future by how you think and how you act.” – Shrii Shrii Anandamurti

These words of my guru came up last week. I have this stack of inspirational quotes from the guru, and every day, I choose another one randomly from the stack.

The idea is to ruminate on it and find ways for the words to resonate within your being.

Didn’t need to wait long — my first thought was how fear played a role in my future. Well, my past and present now, for fear was a big deal in my past.

No one can say I wasn’t confident.

I was dripping in confidence when I started out. I knew I could write. I knew if, given the chance to, I could deliver good writing.

The trouble was my confidence was untested. And no matter how confident I was, I was a little afraid of rejection. No, really afraid of it. Let’s be honest — those first few years are like a roller coaster of OhMyGawds and WhatIfIScrewUps.

• When I was freelancing hit-and-miss back in the 90s, I was afraid I’d never make it past local magazines and newspapers.
• When I was freelancing while working full time, I was afraid I’d not have time or opportunity to do the job right.
• When I was terminated and had to freelance, I was afraid I wouldn’t have enough work to feed my kids.
• When I was two years past termination, I was afraid of letting go of temp jobs.

Then my writer friend Kristen King said this to me:

[bctt tweet=”Treat freelancing like it’s your only option.” username=”LoriWidmer”]

My lord. How simple, and yet how life-changing that little sentence was for me.

My perspective shifted. I threw myself into freelancing like a drowning woman trying to build a raft while she’s sinking. Do or die time.

At the same time Kristen had uttered those words to me, I was trying to apply lessons I’d learned in a business pilot program the state employment agency had offered. In those six weeks of workshops, I learned the basics — business plan, marketing plan, budget, taxes, decision-making, sole proprietor status…

I took on work that paid little. I used that to get a client that paid a little more. I learned to say no. I let fear of failing move me forward. I couldn’t fail. I had something to prove to myself. Instead of my initial thinking, which was something like “I’ll give this a year or so, then look for a job if it doesn’t work out” I amended my thinking to “This is it — this is my career now.”

Each time I made one more good decision, that fear started blurring around the edges. Each time I stood up for my business, fear got a little hazier. Each time I asserted my needs and protected what I’d grown, fear shrunk.

Then one day fear all but disappeared. Not totally — we all still have fears crop up — but it was no longer the nucleus of my business or my thinking.

Since then, I’ve had to face fear a few times:

• The client who called me unprofessional (when it was obvious she was the one mishandling things)
• The trade show attendee who told my editor I needed to learn the industry better (and God bless him for responding “She is your fucking industry.”)
• The sexist remarks, inappropriate behavior, and the come-ons at trade shows, on Twitter, and in email (the trade show instances were met with a “Why would you say that?”; the written instances were met with silence and blocking as needed)
• The editor who accused me of “being in the back pocket” of a source I’d used elsewhere (because she couldn’t understand how freelancers operate — independent of her employee handbook)
• The client who said my pricing was outrageous (quickly dispelled by the fact that three other clients were paying that rate regularly)

Fear, for me, was motivating. It still is. Yet now, when fear shows up, I know how to kick it back out the door.

Writers, how did you make your future happen?
How are you still stomping on fear?
New writers, how are you acting when fear shows up?