If I had a dollar for every time someone contacted me asking me to do work for free, I’d be a hell of a lot richer than I’d be working for free. In the past month alone, I’ve been asked four times to “partner” with or “look at” someone’s work. I had a stranger write to me and say, “How about we collaborate on an article?”
How about no?
Wow, Lori! Why so harsh? You just turned down a would-be client!
No, I didn’t. In my 22 years of freelancing full time, I have never had that “collaboration” offer turn into one in which the asker paid me anything. Not one damn cent. Instead, I usually get, “Oh, but we were hoping to be coauthors. You can help us place it and the magazine can pay you.”
That, my friend, is as unethical as it comes. If you do that and the magazine finds out, you’ll never be hired by them again. Imagine hiring a worker to install your security system only to find out that they’re working for a guy who’s partnered with that worker to have you buy his system. Without telling you any other options. You have no say in it. It’s whatever the unknown guy wants.
Same thing.
It’s almost equally inevitable that whenever people find out you’re a writer, they’re going to mention their book, which leads to them asking you to “look over” said book manuscript or essay or whatever. As one of my Threads connections put it, the response is usually like this: “Oh, I didn’t want you to do it professionally. No, just look it over and tell me what you think.”
Because that’s different how?
If I want to, I will voluntarily look over manuscripts for friends. If I want to. If I don’t, I simply won’t. What I won’t do is give a full-fledged line edit and substantive edit unless they’re paying clients. They’ll get suggestions that they either follow or they don’t. I have no skin in it, so I don’t care. That may sound harsh, but if you’re not paying, you’re not seriously looking for improvement. You’re looking for kudos.
After so many years of fielding these kinds of requests, I’ve employed a simple method of halting the freeloading at the outset. Depending on the day and my mood, it’s one of these two things:
- I don’t respond at all.
- I lead with a conversation about my fee.
I tend to choose the former, especially if the request is coming in email or message form from someone I don’t know. I no longer get excited thinking this is a potential gig. It never has been. Not once in 22 years.
If the ask is from someone in my network or industry or friend circle, I use the latter approach. Recently, someone in my network reached out with the “collaborate” offer.
Happy to discuss your needs further and what my fee would be.
As expected, I got no response. Because there’s no job here. This is a favor a stranger is asking for. (Good way to think of it if you’re tempted, by the way.)
To avoid getting trapped in long, fruitless conversations with people who have no intention of hiring you, make it clear from your response that this is something you intend to be paid for. Bring up your fee at the outset. Too often, I had let the conversation go on without bringing up money. Big mistake.
But your friends. How do you deal with it when it’s a friend asking?
That’s almost as simple. Almost.
I’m not really the best person, but I know someone who would be.
If you work for a friend, charge. Please. I’ve had a few instances in which I did work with friends, I did charge, and I still have the friendships. Money makes it a business transaction and allows you to switch into a different mindset. Treat that job like you would any other client. Do proper follow-up, strive to deliver beyond expectations, and explain thoroughly your billing process so there are no surprises.
I worked with a friend this time last year and it was a very pleasant experience. Partly because she’s a damn good writer and knew what hiring an editor would entail, and partly because I made damn sure she was happy with the result before I sent the final bill. I use one phrase with new clients, and I’ve found that it works well with friends who are clients:
This is not my project; it’s yours. You have to love this. If you don’t, let’s get it right.
That releases them from the thought that your work is as personal to you as their manuscript is to them. You can guide and advise, but it’s their project. Define that ownership. It’ll save you worlds of headache and upset.
As for all those free “for exposure” jobs, forget them. If you want exposure, create your own samples. No one should get your work for free unless you volunteer it.
You, writer, are worthy of payment.
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