Oh, I remember that client, Paula! You were wise to turn your back on her, too. No one gets to micromanage like that. We are NOT employees. I wonder how she, such a busy person, had time to stalk you? If a client doesn’t show trust and respect, it’s a non-starter.

Tweets are “articles”? Really? Jeez.

I’ve shared this one before, because it went beyond overstepping right into creepy cyberstalking.

A few years back, I landed a new-to-me client. The first red flag was they called short posts sourced only with celebrity tweets “articles.” Um. No. Just no. Those are regurgitated social media comments posing as a two- or three-paragraph blurb. I had a REAL article (you know, with original interviews, lots of research, transcribing, revisions, and a heck of a lot more writing than ten of their “articles” combined) due, so I put off a call to discuss their overly-complicated system. (Basically, they expected the writers to be web editors and art departments, too, for no additional compensation.)

I was already wondering if those hassles were worth the not-great per-word rates they paid for what amounted to quick blurbs. But I was willing to give it a shot, since it could have been a few hundred extra dollars per week, and it never hurts to learn new skills.

Anyway, I told the would-be client I speak until the next business day because I had a big deadline. Like most human beings do, I took a brief lunch break. Not a full hour. Just enough time to make a bite to eat while perusing social media and take my dog out. I didn’t post anything, but I liked or retweeted something. When I got back to my desk there was an angry email from her saying, essentially, “You don’t have time for a call, but you have time to tweet?” She then added, “I don’t see why it takes you so long to write an article. Most of our writers can write five or 10 articles per day.”

That’s when I schooled her on the difference between ARTICLES and “articles,” and told her — not that it’s any business of hers — that I’d been on my lunch break. And we parted ways. I let her think it was a mutual decision due to what she called our different working styles. But it was because she was a cyberstalking micromanager who I didn’t want to do business with.