Sometimes you come to your breaking point.
Sometimes when that happens, you break. Or sometimes you find a way through the stress and you vow to make changes so that you don’t reach that breaking point again.
Oh, those best laid plans, eh?
We freelancers suck at taking care of ourselves. It’s true. We put work before our own mental health. Hell, I’ve seen writers who put work before their physical wellbeing, too. There’s something wrong with that.
It’s a tough habit to break though, isn’t it? When we first started this freelance writing career, we took damn near any job that came our way. I shudder at the thought of some of the writing jobs I considered in those early days. Fortunately, I passed on many of them. Not all, but those became life lessons. At least that’s what I tell myself.
But now that we have a great freelance career going, are we doing enough to protect our own wellbeing? Or are we continuing to please people at our own expense?
I’m a pleaser. Just take me car shopping and you’ll see the human form of angst and acquiescence. I don’t trust, but I don’t bring my game face, either. With freelancing, I’m still somewhat of a pleaser, though I’ve learned to protect my business from low-ballers and lousy client relationships.
But not me. I don’t protect me.
That’s where I was in November when the work outpaced the time I had that month to finish it. I was so busy saying sure, I can take one more project that I quickly buried myself in a pool of stress and impossible expectations.
No more. That one month taught me No. More.
[bctt tweet=”Regain your #freelancewriting freedom right now.” username=”LoriWidmer”]
I’m now protecting my sanity. Here’s how:
Put the personal life first.
That sounds so simple, but when you’re busy, do you? Do you walk away in the evening and relax, or do you check your email from your phone three times during that show you’re sort of watching? Do you take time off without guilt? Do you put up that Away message without apology? Do you go off on a day trip just because you want to? I know, I know. Projects do have deadlines. But not every client needs it tomorrow. Budget your time so that the majority of it is yours to control. Hell, all of it is yours to control, really. Just make sure your needs come first.
Say no a lot more often.
Just last week I turned down two projects and this week I passed on another one. I know what I need right now, and more work isn’t it. It’s okay if you can’t. It’s okay if the reason is because you’re exhausted and can’t stomach the thought of one more thing. It’s okay if the reason is you just want the time off or you just don’t want to do it. “No” is a valid response. Use it when your gut tells you it’s what’s best for you.
Schedule work, not play.
There’s a method to my thinking with this one. We tend to do the opposite: Gee, I need a day off so I have to put it on the calendar and make sure I don’t take on work that’s due at that time…. Stop. Instead, block off all of your calendar, then selectively accept work where and when you want it.
But Lori! I’m going to lose clients! Hell no you’re not. You’re going to project exactly the image they respond to — a busy professional who will fit them into the schedule. No one needs to know that you can’t do a video call on Tuesday because you really want to get a massage. They hear “I have time on Thursday around 2 pm” not “I’m going birdwatching that day.” Because what you do with your time is your business.
Writers, how bad is your please-everyone affliction?
How do you protect your free time?