Oh, you are so right, Devon! We do skim. Listening is an art, and far too few of us practice it. It’s true — most often, clients are telling us what they want. We’re simply not listening closely.

I like the idea of venting privately on paper. I’ve done it a few times with personal issues (divorce teaches you how to actively disengage!), but I never thought to apply it to business issues. Thank you for that!

Far too often, we skim — both with eyes and ears. We don’t really LISTEN to what the other party says. We’re jumping ahead on an assumption of a buzz or trigger word to what we THINK they meant and framing our reactive response.

Granted, with some, it’s like talking to wallpaper, because they just will never get it. So you finish your contract, move on, and don’t work with them again. But I find that taking the extra time to listen, to look for subtext, often helps me in phrasing a professional response that addresses the issue.

Exactly that, Paula. No one hears the inflammatory language. Stick to the facts, be cordial, and don’t fight.

The industry I work in the most often is the opposite extreme. In fact, today I pitched an editor a story about a director who started a superPAC to produce free political videos for progressive candidates in “flippable” districts. My editor replied, “I like it!” (It would be for an issue she hasn’t thought of assigning for yet, but it sounds promising!)