Oh wow Paula. What an awful thing to do to children. But I suppose sometimes it’s the bad behavior that tells us the most about people, and it’s good your friend’s family found out if they weren’t aware before.

And that thing with your dad and his brothers is adorable. 🙂

Thanks Jake. Your dad sounds like a heck of a guy, and a great role model. 🙂

It’s interesting that you brought up the family connection with self-employment. It makes me wonder if that’s a part of the pushback I got from my mother early on. Her father was an electrician who owned his own shop. I always saw his entrepreneurship as something that’s just kind of in the blood… I come from a long line of risk-takers, and he was just one of the more recent examples. I always respected that about him. But it can be a tough industry, especially in NYC. So I’m betting she saw a lot of ups and downs over the years. An uncle took over that business later, and I know he faced similar at times. Obviously it’s not the same as writing, but that could be a part of why she was so nervous about the stability of it all. Interesting food for thought!

My questioning authority was obvious when I was about 10. A friend invited me to a “swimming party” at her church. It was winter, so it was a novelty. I have no idea where the church was, but a group of kids were in a bus, after dark, singing hymns, some of which I didn’t know. When we arrived at the church, we were escorted into a side office, where we stood as the fire and brimstone preacher telling us we needed to be “saved.” Yeah, right, buddy. I was raised Lutheran, and they encourage questions. So I asked questions. I asked a LOT of questions. So many that he and a woman ushered me into an even smaller office and started pressuring me to shut up. I remember him asking me if I loved my siblings and parents – saying if I were saved I could “save” them, too. Otherwise we’d never get to Heaven. (He used far coarser language, when you consider he was addressing a child. He also didn’t know my my was dying.) I felt like a hostage. I prayed silently so God would know I was only playing along with these idiots so I could get away. Then he proudly trotted us out before a packed congregation (and it wasn’t even Sunday), showing them all the souls he “saved.” It backfired. As soon as I got home I burst into tears, told my mom everything. She called my friend’s mom. Their family left that church and joined ours. That experience proved to me why it’s so vital to ask questions so I can determine if that person can be believed.

And re: “Because B” and “because I said so,” my dad had three brothers. They always said that between them they knew everything in the world. Uncle Wilbur died really young—none of us met ever got to meet him. So when we had a family event and I asked my dad something he couldn’t answer (or pretended he couldn’t), he sent me to Uncle Les, who sent me to Uncle Gale, who’d usually say, “Oh. Wilbur knew that one.”

LOL! A new kind of anonymous stalking. 🙂

Same here. I pretty much trust no one simply on their say-so. If you state something as fact without any explanation or proof, my mind immediately pokes holes in whatever you’ve said or goes into “devil’s advocate” mode. If they can’t justify what they’re saying is absolutely necessary, I’m unlikely to take that person at their word.

I find asking a lot of questions is something I do even more on the personal side now than when I was younger. I catch myself using it whenever people say, do, or believe something truly stupid (like making a racist or sexist remark). I ask questions to force them to think about it objectively — partially for their benefit, but partially because it helps me see if they’ve truly thought through the things they act on or if they’re just parroting bullshit they’ve been trained to say or believe. It tells me a lot about people. And that’s something I wish freelancers would do more on the professional front. Critical thinking skills are a lost art.

“Because B?” That’s interesting! I don’t think we ever got more growing up than the good old “because I said so.”

You’re quite welcome. One more from me, and we have one coming from Cathy too. You take whatever time you need, and if you help beyond this week, just say so. 🙂

So… that last comment was me. I was still logged into the site as Lori from posting earlier, so it posted the comment as her. Fixed the name, but apparently I’ll still have Lori’s face at least awhile until Gravatars update. lol

Thank you, Jenn for taking care of the blog as I deal with my dad’s health issues.

I should be back to blogging by Monday. It’s wonderful to have great friends like Jenn who volunteer to help a writer in need. 🙂