Exactly that, Michael! Too often, these networking meetings are people exchanging business cards and one of them going off on a tangent about how great they are and all about how they’re about to help the person in front of them. Your point is spot on — it’s about being the medium between one person and another, but also it’s about getting to know someone without thinking about how they’ll hire you. In my own business, I’ve befriended tons of people in the industry I serve, and only rarely does one of them hire me. That’s fine. Instead, they serve as subject matter experts or as people to hang out with at conferences.

LOL Well, I wouldn’t quite label this contact with all that, Paula. I’ve not met the person, so I can’t say. I can only say the approach is too off-putting for me to get to know this person.

The patronizing was a bit surprising. Again, could it be this person doesn’t know how their words translate in email? Not sure. Another gray area. Those gray areas do add up, though, don’t they?

Your tips remind me of a recurring line in Hamilton: “Talk less. Smile more.”

The guy sounds like a patronizing buffoon. And Cathy’s right. He probably guns his car. He’d probably talk way too loud at a restaurant anyway, hoping others will overhear how busy he is. (Maybe he has to meet in his office because he’s been banned from all local eateries for boorish behavior?)

ROFL! Cathy, that’s so funny!

It was that among other things that put me off. I don’t think meeting for coffee should ever be in someone’s office. That’s not impromptu — that’s planned too well. I think I was most put off, however, with the follow-up assumption that I had to be explained to as to why this person is busy and can’t meet elsewhere. A) I’m busy, too — damn busy. B) There’s no way anyone works through lunch every day. C) It rang false, which means already there’s an untruth between us.

No thanks.